Comfort by R2s Muse
Disclaimer: Dragon Age and its characters belong to Bioware.
Marian Hawke didn't know how long she had sat on her bed, staring listlessly at the wall, when she heard someone clear their throat. Looking up with only mild curiosity, she saw Cullen standing in the door.
His brow was furrowed and he avoided looking directly at her as he fidgeted on the threshold. He was wearing a wine red tunic with the sword of mercy embroidered in gold thread over his heart, suggesting he was off-duty.
She looked up at the window to notice for the first time that it was dark. What time is it? she wondered. She thought for a moment, frowning. What day is it? She shook her head. She didn't know. She didn't care.
She pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them, and continued her silent perusal of the empty wall, the crackling fire, the shadows dancing alone.
Cullen cleared his throat again, but she had satisfied her curiosity about him. Now she just wanted to be left alone. "H-Hawke, you have my deepest condolences for your loss. Can I come in?"
Her eyes narrowed and she glanced at him, shrugging. Taking this as approval, he stepped hesitantly across the room to stop a few feet away.
"I also wanted to apologize. The Order should have done more to avoid this tragedy. Perhaps… perhaps if we had better supported Ser Emeric's investigation, the perpetrator would have been caught sooner. I take full responsibility for our failings."
"Thank you for the official visit, Knight-Captain. You can go now." Her voice sounded listless and creaked a little from lack of use. Strange. She dropped her head down to rest her forehead against her knees. After a minute or two, she realized that he was still there.
She raised her head to look at him, puzzled. "I'm not here officially," he blurted. "I wanted to make sure that you were all right."
"I'm fine." She turned back to the wall.
He wet his lower lip. "Marian, I want you to know… I will do everything within my power to make sure nothing like this ever happens again. I will make Kirkwall safe. Make you safe. I want—"
"Cullen," she interrupted. "Stop hovering."
"If… if you really want me to leave, then—"
"Sit down."
"Sit?"
She sighed. "Just sit down."
He sank down next to her on the bed, sitting right at the edge with his hands placed awkwardly on his knees like he didn't know where else to put them. She watched his eyes darted around the room before finally settling back on her.
The corners of her mouth inched up into a sad smile. Well, almost a smile. "You don't have to fix it."
He opened his mouth again, but she said, "You don't. You can't." A flutter of emotion started to bubble up inside her, something she'd held at bay. It continued to grow inside, suddenly threatening to choke her.
"I need to try," he insisted in an earnest voice. "Marian… I'm so sorry."
"Shh," she said, feeling her eyes get hot. She startled him by leaning over and laying her head down in his lap.
"Marian…"
"Shh," she repeated, shutting her eyes tightly, but not before a scalding hot tear squeezed through, dripping down her cheek and onto his trousers. A hand hesitantly touched her hair, stroking it lightly. Then it all caught up with her, everything she'd successfully locked away, and the sobs started to wrack her body.
She didn't know how long they sat that way. Even when her tears ran dry, he continued silently stroking her hair until finally a new day had dawned.
