Okay, so one day Naruto was bored. So he decided to call up his team (Let's pretend they have cellphones, m'kay?) and go eat ramen. 'Cause I mean, who doesn't like ramen, right? Right. No one. Because it rules. Anyway, the conversation went something like this.

Boop boop beep bopp boop etc
Sakura: Lyk, hi, whoiz ther?!1one!
Naruto: Let's !!HOKAGE!! go get some !!HOKAGE!!RAMEN!!
Sakura: Lyk, nowai naruot, it maiks mi fat, loll.
Naruto!!HOKAGE!! Come on!!RAMEN!! please?
Sakura: Lyk, fine, lol1!!!1
CLICK

Beep boop bop beep boop etc
Sasuke: I WILL KILL ITACHI!
Naruto: Wanna !!HOKAGE!! grab some !!RAMEN!!?
Sasuke: DIE, ITACHI!
Naruto: Emo !!RAMEN!! loser.
Sasuke: ITACHI MUST Fine. DIE!!!!!
CLICK

So, anyway, they met up at that one ramen place and ordered some ramen and started eating it. Sakura had one bowl and then suddenly started having hysterics screaming about how she was going to get fat from eating too much, then grabbed a knife that happened to be lying on the table and attacked Naruto with it, shouting that it was all his fault. Naruto's terrified cries of '!!RAMEN!!' and '!!HOKAGE!!' failed to placate her, and she chopped off all his hair to get revenge. He promptly died of embarrassment. Sakura then choked to death on a noodle she hadn't yet swallowed. Sasuke failed to noticed anything, finished his ramen, then shouted 'I MUST AVENGE MY FAMILY!' and ran off. His body turned up in a nearby river three months later.

Kakashi had this to say about the incident: Hmmm? Looks up from book Did you say something?