Education



Disclaimer: The plot comes from my twisted twisted twisted mind. Everything else doesn't. This is possibly the most obscure, strange thing I'll ever write.





Dora sighed heavily. The three fifteen year-olds, Jenna, Isaac and Garet looked at her, waiting for whatever she had called them in for. Dora found courage. This had to be done.

"Okay, er, childr--I mean, young men and woman, I've called you in to talk about, er, the birds and the bees," Dora started.

"Mom?" Isaac said quietly. "Kraden already talked to about them."

Relief and dread flood Dora. "How?"

"Well," Isaac started. "Birds generally fly and bees do too, only they make honey, which is really good on toast and okay Jenna, I'll shut up." Which he did.

Dora sweatdropped. "Um . . . " she paled as her mind emptied of rational thought. "Do any of you know the difference between men and women?"

Garet raised his hand.

"Yes, Garet?" Dora asked nervously.

"Me and Isaac pee standing up and Jenna squats," he put bluntly. Dora sweatdropped again. Through gritted teeth, she asked a second question.

"Any OTHER differences?"

"Well," Isaac said. "Jenna grew bumps on her chest and we didn't."

"Good, Isaac," Dora nodded. Dear Venus, were her children this innocent?

"And me an' Isaac's voices got low, 'cept for when his squeaks, and Jenna's stay high," Garet added.

"Good, Garet," Dora felt more comfortable. They were catching on. "How about you, Jenna?"

"And I started to bleed between my legs!" Jenna supplied enthusiasticly. Dora froze in a state of shock.

"Did you get hurt there, Jen?" Isaac asked his friend. "It hurt when Garet accidentally hit me there during practice."

"No, 'cept for some cramps," Jenna shook her head. "I can always tell when it comes, too."

"Oh," Isaac said, relieved.

Dora still wasn't moving.

"So, Jenna?" Garet asked her. "What are those bumps called?"

"The other women in Vale call them 'something to be proud of', but the men call them boobs," Jenna shrugged.

"Then do we call them boobs?" Garet asked. Jenna tilted her head.

"If you want," she said, staring at Dora. "Do you think she's okay?"

Isaac waved his hand in front of Dora. "Mom? Mom? Are you okay?"

Dora snapped out of it. "Yes, I'm fine, dearest. Where were we?"

"Differences!" Jenna clapped.

"Ah, yes," Dora nodded, tugging at her collar. How do I say this next? she thought. "Now, do any of you know how a baby is made?"

Silence. Then, Garet raised his hand.

"Yes, Garet," Dora nodded nervously.

"The stork?" Garet said quizzically. Dora twitched.

"No . . ."

"The stork?"

"No . . ."

"The--"

"NO GARET, NOT THE STORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Then what is it?"

"Uh . . ." Dora sighed. "Inside the woman's body is a tube where the baby grows until it's ready to be born."

"Doesn't it get bored in there?" Isaac inquired.

"Yes, Isaac, that's why it comes out," Dora said impatiently.

Silence.

"Only women have this tube?" Isaac asked another question.

"Yes, Isaac dear," Dora nodded, wringing her hands.

"How does the baby get there?" he asked a question a third time.

Dora paled.

"Well, dear, that's where Jenna's bleeding comes in," she carefully chose her words.

"So," Garet raised an eyebrow. "Jenna bleeds between the legs and a baby gets put in her?"

Jenna looked down. "That's a lot of babies," she said amazed.

"But wait," said Isaac. "Isn't there a father involved in all of this?"

All color drained from Dora's face.

"Well, yes dear . . ."

Dora took a deep breath. "Between the time Jenna bleeds between the legs every month--"

"You mean this happens to her every month?" asked Isaac skeptically.

"Yes, dear," Dora nodded. Isaac rolled his eyes.

"Isn't that a lot of blood loss?"

"Not for a woman, dear."

"Oh."

Dora continued. "Between the time Jenna bleeds every month, an egg grows."

"An egg?" Garet said doubtingly.

"Yes, an egg. And the egg, er, must be, er, fertilized, so it can become a baby," Dora wrung her hands.

"How is the egg fertilized?" Jenna asked.

"Er . . ."

"How is the egg fertilized?" Jenna repeated.

"Well, a man gets, er, inside her and--"

"A guy shrinks down and goes inside Jenna?" Isaac said questioning.

"No, only a part of a man goes inside a woman," Dora said patiently.

"Which part?" Isaac and Garet chorused.

Dora deadpanned. "Look down."

They did.

"Oh."

"Good," Dora took another deep breath. "When he's--yes, Jenna?"

"Where's this alleged tube?" asked Jenna.

Dora grabbed her hand and dragged her upstairs. "Come with me."

A few minutes later, Jenna and Isaac's mother came back down.

"Where was it, Jenna?" Isaac asked. Jenna shrugged.

"I'll show you later," she said nonchalantly. Dora turned purple and died.

All three teenagers looked at the fallen adult.

"Didn't she know Kraden taught us the minute we started lessons?" Garet asked.

Jenna and Isaac shrugged.

"It was funny, though," Jenna giggled.

And with that, the tri-friends left Isaac's house.







No, Dora didn't really die.