Neither Fish Nor Foul

Disclaimer: Gollum & The Lord of the Rings belong to J. R. R. Tolkien

Gollum loved to eat fish; whole.

He loved them raw, he loved them wriggling. He loved rabbits this way too, but there was something about the slipperiness of fish that really appealed to his sense of being. Oftentimes he would wonder why this was the case; but then the thoughts of fish would make him hungry and any chance of coming to an epiphany on the matter would simply be lost.

Gollum was certain Sméagol loved fish too. After all, that's how they came across their Precious in the first place. They were definitely out fishing that day - him and Déagol. Gollum didn't join the party until the ring appeared, and then it was just him and Sméagol.

Gollum stared at the flowing river, "Preciousss was slippery."

"Precious smelled fishy," Sméagol added.

"Preciousss must've thought we'd try to eat it."

Sméagol sat wide-eyed. "Why didn't we? Precious would still be with us then."

Gollum frowned, "Until we—"

"Clean it up, make it shine, wolf it down another time."

Gollum screwed his face.

Sméagol stared at the flowing river, "We'd still have Precious."

"Now nasty hobbitsssesss have Preciousss."

"But nasty hobbits won't have Precious for long."

"No, no." Gollum rubbed his hands together, "We will take it from them, and stab them with their stingy blades!"

Sméagol's eyes lit up, "And then Precious will be ours once more!"

"Forever more," Gollum added.

They both stared at the flowing river.

"I'm hungry," Sméagol muttered.

Gollum dived into the water. He was under the surface for ten seconds and then held a wriggling fish aloft. Sméagol clapped. Gollum swam back to the river's edge.

Sméagol rubbed his hands together, "Gimme the head! Gimme the head!"

Gollum ripped the fish in two. He swallowed the tail-end, and held the head out in front of him.

"Gimme!" Sméagol shouted.

"Go away." He swallowed the head too.

Gollum loved to eat fish; whole.