Sam Anderson came running toward the house Rick shares with Michonne, Carl, Judith and Carol.
It was 4:00 in the morning, and it wasn't close to sunrise.
He pounded his fist on the door and rang the bell. Eventually, Michonne answered the door, half asleep but fully pissed.
"What's wrong, Sam?"
"My mom sent me. She needs Rick. Right now."
"He's asleep." I wore him out, kid. We did stuff and thangs together you won't understand even if you see 30. "Let me get dressed, I'll help."
"No, she said Rick only. It's important. He's the only one who can help."
"Alright, come in and sit on the couch. I'll go get him."
Michonne went back to the bedroom, shut and locked the door. She pulled the sheets off a naked Rick, and took advantage of his morning erection. Twenty minutes later, Rick finished getting dressed and ran to see Sam.
"My mom needs you...it's an emergency!"
Rick and Sam ran back to Jessie's house, and Sam led him to the garage.
"Oh...Rick...it's horrible. Just horrible. I feel so violated."
"What happened?"
"My owl...my OWL! Like, Oh my GAWD!"
"When did you get a green ponytail?"
"Please, Rick...get justice for my owl!"
"I'll see what I can do. Be back later."
He was walking home, when an old, familiar friend walked back to his house with him.
"Rick, I didn't get myself cut open to give birth to what may or may not be your kid just so you can help some bimbo with an owl sculpture."
"Shut the fuck up, Lori."
Michonne rolled her eyes when he got back and told her what the emergency was.
"Dumb bitch is gonna be the death of us."
Within seconds of Rick sitting down next to Michonne, Sam was at the door again.
"It's important!"
Rick ran back again.
"Oh, Rick, like oh...my...GAWWWWWWD." she cried, flipping her fake pony tail back and forth.
"What's wrong now, Jessie?"
"Like totally...the light bulb burnt out, and I don't have another. Can you go to Home Depot for me?"
He walked away, without a word. He saw the ghosts of Shane and Lori having sex in the grass, right in front of his house.
Same ran to his house again...
"Like, oh my GAWD Rick...I don't have any coffee!"
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"Like, oh my GAWD Rick...I haven't seen my Real Housewives shows in years! It's just horrible."
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"Like, oh, my GAWD Rick...I'm out of conditioner"
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"Like oh...my...GAWD, Rick...
On his fifteenth trip back to his house, Ghost Lori stood in front of him, saying "you just need to talk to her. speak...speak...good dog."
The next time Sam came running down the road, he made a U-turn on Rick's porch as Carol ran out after him, and chased him back to his house. Jessie was waiting for Rick, half dressed in a sexy nightie. She was startled when Carol walked in.
"Carol, like, oh...my...GAWD. Where's Rick. I need him."
"Jessie, sweetheart, right now Rick is having sex with Michonne. Let me help you. We'll worry about the owl later. You have such a pretty house. A beautiful garden, too. Here, come with me. Let's look at the flowers."
