Title: God, There's A Lot Of Butter On This Popcorn

Authors: Roganu-chan, Jakuki

Rating: PG-13

Timeframe: Pre-R (So, yes, the senshi do not know our Princes.)

Notes: A relativly pointless fanfic Roganu and I decided to start... and now, we're stuck. If you review, you might suggest some ideas... because we're stuck!

***

7:20 AM.

Saffiru rolled over and knocked the alarm clock off of the stand and blinked sleepily at the sparking jumble of misfit wires now strewn across his apartment floor.

"Damn. That's another one I need to fix..." He sat up and looked about, the endless blue eyes roaming about the small, clean, but otherwise slightly cramped apartment he had rented for the Tokyo term. Saffiru had enrolled in the nearby college, and was planning on taking classes to understand Tokyo-ers better. That, was at least, the initial plan. His onisan had ulterior motives, but Saffiru was purely interested in expanding his knowledge.

He stretched a bit and sat up in his bed, his navy blue pj's thudding softly on the floor as he stood up and changed into his slacks and white shirt. Combing down his dark bangs over an ominous upturned black crescent on his forehead, he smiled at his reflection lightly, and then turned to the scary-looking four foot stack of books he had to carry to class, ands began devising an ingenious means of transporting it to the... what was it called again? Education place? Ah yes. School.

**

8:00 AM.

The class wandered in aimlessly as Saffiru watched from the back. He had been sitting in the class for five minutes, awaiting the bell's incessant buzz. 'Why do humans use such an annoying thing to call them into such a wonderful thing as a learning session?' (A/N- Poor, sheltered Saffy..) As these thoughts and hopes of a new experience went through his mind, another student sat next to him on his right. His eyes slowly moved to see this newcomer, the one who dare take a seat next to him when he wanted his solitude while learning. The other student had black hair, deep eyes. He was not your everyday man, who just strolled by you on the street who you gave no thought to- he was attractive to women, that he could be certain of judging by the glances thrown his way by the other gender of his species, but not only that, there was something.. different.. that Saffiru just couldnt explain. Amidst his pondering, a group of girls no more than twenty years school around the black haired man, and start chanting, "Mamo-chan! Mamo-chan!"

'Disgusting.' His mind wandered but the man spoke up, calling Saffiru's attention.

"Ladies, as pretty as you are, I *am* taken." The girls let go of his hands and stopped chanting, and broke up their mosh pit and chose seats, looking somewhat defeated.

'I wonder,' Saffiru thought, 'who's the woman this man is with, then? Obviously she's special, and judging by his lack of interest in the other girls, he is completely devoted to the one. I've seen men with women on their arms, completely dissatisfied with her, staring across the street at a pretty waitress or student. I'm curious to know what this girl has that the others don't, that keeps this one man completely happy and content.. Much like my onii-san, and his obsession with the Queen.. but so unlike other men, who would only be satisfied by the impossibly perfect woman.'

His thoughts were brutally interrupted when the professor rapped a yard stick on the desk, calling attention to himself. As soon as he saw a great percentage of his student body were looking at him, somewhat interested, he started the class."This semester will be difficult, and I'm not stopping you from failing, either. This is college, and this is College Physics." Saffiru settled in comfortably to his seat and smiled up at the professor. Almost as soon as doing so, Kudo-sensei's green eyes lit upon Saffiru's.

"Ah! Kuromun-san! You made it. I have your papers in my office. Did you find the class easily enough?" Saffiru nodded. "Excellent. Hopefully you will become like Chiba-san and be one of my more... brilliant... students..." Kudo-sensei's eyes had fallen on a very jock-looking man whispering to a rather... busty cheerleader, making her blush and giggle. Kudi-sensei coughed and the two looked up at him, giving him their rapt attention. Saffiru smirked.

"Kudo-sensei, I shall not dampen your hopes for me. I will do my best to excell beyond the merits of this rather small and unsightly educational class and perhaps continue on to higher levels of learning through discipline, dispite the fact I have already read countless books on this petty topic and have mastered beyond the level of Qauntum Physics and am begining to breach the surface of Meta Physics which this level of science will develop on persay another 50 years, but nonetheless I am here to enjoy myself and perhaps learn more about the people in this absurd place than the actual science behind it." He finished with a smile. All eyes were on him,sweatdrops lingering, including the sensei.

"...yes... well... shall we begin the class? Chiba-san, I am trusting you to give Kuromun-san a tour of the grounds after this class so he can possibly find his.. other classes." The one called Chiba-san nodded, and Saffiru was surprised to find it to be the strangly mysterious, dark-haired man sitting next to him that had warded off the dangerous-looking mob of the otherwise unexplainable behavior patterns of the hormone-charged women. Interesting. He looked about the room and was surprised to find half the female count in the class was batting her eyes at him. He blinked.

He sighed, stumped at their behavior. 'Humans,' he concluded, 'are indeed very strange.'

The day wore on in such a manner, Saffiru being the constant attraction, baffling him. After class, Chiba did show him around, and it turned out they had most classes together. At the end of the day, Saffiru's new friend was again mobbed by the female student body. Physically and literally. Chiba pushed them away, and looked through the crowd and spotted a lone girl standing in a Juuban middle school fuku, smiling slightly at the man in the same way, although she had a sparkle in her eye as though she knew he would choose her over the rest. It wasn't the fact that her school had fukus strikingly similar to the sailor senshi, with the long blue skirts and red bows, that made Saffiru blink twice and think something along the lines of 'Oh God,' it was the fact that she had brilliant blue eyes and sunkissed hair wound up in silken odangos, streamers quivering down to her knees, a brooch nestled gently on her rounding breasts. She waved at Chiba.

"Ohiyo, Mamo-chan!"

"..Usa-ko!" Chiba ran over and snatched up the nymph, kissing her forehead. So Serenity was the special one. That would mean Chiba was..

"Oh. My. God." Chiba led the bunny over to Saffiru and smiled.

"Kuromun-san, this is Tsukino-chan, Tsukino Usagi, my Usa-ko. Usa-ko, this is Kuromun-san, my new classmate."

Saffiru watched as the odango-ed young woman did a small curtsey. He was somewhat amused, then greeted her for the first time with the traditional bow.

"Pleased to meet you. May I call you Usagi, or is Tsukino-san more to your liking?"

Usagi blinked. "Oh! Please call me Usagi, Kuromun-san!"

"Onii-san, this is Chiba-san, a classmate, and his *girlfriend * Tsukino Usagi."

"Usagi, if you please."

Saffiru blinked. Crap. Now Demando was thinking along the lines of 'Oohh.. Serenity is friendly.' He could read it in his eyes.

Demando walked over to Usagi and got down on one knee and stared up at her longingly.

"Many a night," he began, "I have dreamed of staring up into your eyes, and being able to touch your skin-" He snatched up one of her petite hands in his and brought it to his lips, tasting her flesh. "-and stroke your hair-" He ran his hand through her odango streamer. "-and taste your lips-"

"ONII-SAN!!!?? You're embarrassing me!" Saffiru knocked Demando away from the utterly stunned Usagi and her shocked protector and soul mate. But they don't know that, which could prove to be very bad for Usagi.

Demando blinked and got up and bowed to the couple, thinking quickly.

"Sumimasen, Tsukino-chan and Chiba-san. I don't know what came over me." He tried his best to look extremely sorry.

"S'okay.." Chiba was less convinced than the forgiving Usa-chan.

"Onii-san, I think we need to talk." Saffiru grabbed his brother by the earring and pulled him away.

"Ow ow ow ow ow stop that!"

"Look. You may be my brother, and I accept that. What I cant accept is you trying to kiss poor Usagi. You *just * met her for the first time, and by the look on her face, I'd say her lips were still virgin, and do not need to be taken by *you *.

Demando pouted.

"Please?"

"Absolutely not. Endymion would give you a fate worse than death, not to mention what Pluto-san would do."

Sweatdrop on Demando's part. "Well damn. That ruins many things."

"What *kind * of things, onii-san?"

"Never mind." The white prince strolled back to where Usagi and Mamoru were standing. Saffiru followed in suit.

"So how is my brother doing in this.. college.. place?"

Mamoru thought. "He's very intelligent. He doesn't need college, he needs a laboratory. He also seemed to catch the eye of many girls here."

Demando blinked. "He has one."

"A girl or a lab?" Mamoru asked.

"Both, of course. Petz, and a chem. lab, observatory, and physics lab."

Saffiru slapped his forehead. "How many times to I have to tell you that Petz and I are just friends?!" He sighed dejectedly.

"You have a lab?" asked Usagi.

"Yes, several," he replied, relieved at the change of topic.

"And a girlfriend," added Demando.

'Damn you, onii-san.'

"Awww, are they black or yellow labs?" Usagi was smiling up at Saffiru innocently. Demando and Mamoru both did a crash and twitched.

'So adorable, but without a clue.'He smiled and sighed. "They're chemistry and physics labs."

"I've never heard of those, but I bet they're pretty little doggies. Do they fetch?"

"Considering my labs are inanimate," Saffiru spotted the blank look, "they don't move, no. My labs are for science."

"Oh! I feel so stupid.." Usagi looked down and tears gathered in the corners of her large cerulean eyes. She then glared up at him.

"How can you be so cruel to animals?! They're not for tests! Dogs are man's best friend, ya know!"

Demando had to interject. You know he was going to eventually.

"Us- Tsukino-san, wanna get friendly and be my dog?"

Usa blinked while Saffiru and Mamoru crashed and twitched this time.

"Dem- Onii-san, would you *please * come with me?" Demando followed his brother. When they were far enough away, Saffiru whacked his brother over the head. Saffiru then calmly walked back.

Mamoru coughed. "Er, Usa-ko, lets go."

"Hai." She called, "Ja ne, Kuro-mun sans! Pleasure meeting you!"

Demando walked out holding his head and smirking. "The pleasure is mine." Saffiru took the opportunity to turn and thwap him again as the soul mates walked off, hand in hand.

"What'd you do that for?"

**

7:08 A.M.

Demando woke to the sound of running water. He hated waking up before nine.

"What the hell?!" he shouted.

The water tured off and Saffiru walked out of the bathroom, towel around his waist, drying his dripping hair with a hand towel.

Saffiru grinned and chirped, "Good morning, 'ni-san!"

Demando blinked.

"Why the **** (A/N- Not a PG-13 word) are you up so damn early?"

"You know, that probably turns Usagi off."

"I don't give a flying ****! Actually, I do, but that's beside the point. What's possessing you to get up at three?!"

"I have school, Einstein."

"...oh yeah.."

"By the may, check the time at the top of this section of the fic."

"Oh.. its not three, is it? Its seven oh.. wait.. now its seven oh nine. Still to damn early. Princes can wake up when they please."

"And I please to wake up now. I'm off to school. Throughout the conversation, Saffiru had been getting dressed and walked out the door, the door slamming in Demando's face.

7:59 A.M.

Saffiru walked into the room and noted Chiba sitting surrounded by his fanclub while he was trying to read.

'I thought my daily routine of waking onii-san with my shower and getting yelled at was bad. He has to deal with psycho girls. Poor man.'

He sat down next to Chiba and watched him, trying to think of a way to start apologizing to him for his brother's actions.

"I don't know why you girls don't understand that I have a girlfriend." They dispersed.

"Chiba-san," Saffiru began, "I was going to try and sugar coat this, but its surprisingly difficult to do. I apologize on behalf of my brother because, well, he's an idiot."

Chiba nodded. "Accepted. Luckily Usa was too naive to catch what he meant."

"That's a good thing."

"Yes it is."

The bell rang.

The class sat down. Another uneventful day passed.

**

4:00 P.M.

Saffiru and Demando were walking along a street near a park, Saffiru chatting.

"..and the theory is that using the energy it can be converted into matter. Make sense, onii-san? Onii-san?" Saffiru blinked and saw his companion had abandoned him and was wandering towards Usagi, who was sitting alone on a park bench.

"ONII-SAAAANNN!!" Too late. Usagi had hopped up and curtsied.

"How are the doggies doing your brother is using for research, Mr. Kuromun?"

"Pardon?"

"The poor defenseless dogs!"

Saffiru walked up. "You're evil!" she said whilst pointing at him accusingly.

"In.. what are you talking about?"

"The poor dogs you're doing research on!"

"Oh, Usagi-chan, you're confused." He smiled. "I do space studies and studies with fusing elements together. I assure you, no animals are harmed when I conduct my research."

"Really?" Her eyes began to sparkle.

"I promise, Usagi."

"Wai!!!" She jumped up and hugged Saffiru tightly, arousing a green Demando. Usa blinked.

"Ah, gomen nasai!" She let go and bowed profusely.

"Don't worry about it," he said calmly, smiling lightly.

Demando blinked. Saffiru decided to do a very un-Saffy thing, and after winking at his brother, gave Usagi a big bear hug, arousing a squeal out of her.

"Your so nice, Kuromun-san!" she said happily.

"Kuromun-san is much too formal for me, Usagi, especially since I address you very informally. You can call me Saffiru if you choose to do so."

She smiled.

So did he.

Demando, however, did not. He growled.

Saffiru spotted this, and decided to leave.

"I bid you adieu, Usagi. I have er, matters to attend to elsewhere."

She pouted. "That's okay. I have to be heading home anyway."

"Ja, Usagi."

"Bai, Saffiru-san."

He walked off, tugging at his brother's sleeve as he headed toward the apartment.

"I cant believe she likes you."

"What?!"

"You should really take more notice in these things, little brother."

**

**

6:00 PM

Saffiru sat in a recliner chair in the apartment that he now found himself sharing with his oniisan, who, upon discovering the young golden senshi, decided to make it his buisness to live on Earth as well, full time; before it had been just visits; claiming it would be easier to help his younger brother study. Of course, they both knew that Saffiru was the one helping DEMANDO study, and, well, it was quite obvious that Usagi was the reason for the sudden change of heart. So, it was rather pointless to point the absurb point out, Saffiru later pointed out to himself in his diary, also filled with random useless points being pointed out, seeing as he was the only one who would actually pick up on these points, and to point it out to his oniisan would only arouse denial, and therefore, rather pointless. Get the point?

Demando walked into the room and sat down in an armchair and glanced at the interesting black box sitting on a stand that Earthlings would watch for hours on end as it displaced two demensional pictures in poor color and sound. He was curious as to why it fascinated them so... and... what it was.

"I know what you're thinking, Onii-san. It's a television."

"...ooh."

12:45 P.M.

Saffiru wandered onto the courtyard, lugging his physics, college level calculus B/C, and biology books along with him. He made sure nobody was looking, swished his hand, and a turkey sandwich appeared. He smirked. He lifted it up and brought it to his mouth, but before he could take the first bite, Chiba walked up and startled him.

"Hey, Kuromun-san." He sat down next to him on the concrete steps that were laid on top of the grass.

"Hey. Chem go well?" Saffiru took bio instead of chem.

"Yeah. Pullin' an A pretty easily." He opened his paper bag which had a small ham sandwich and tiny cookies made by Usagi inside. Saffiru wondered what it was like to have a girlfriend, considering he himself had no experience from being isolated most all his life.

He envied Chiba. "How's.. what are you taking? Bio? How's that coming along for you?" Saffiru answered with the sound of a raspberry.

"Piece of cake."

"Arigatou, Kuromun-san! Usagi wanted me to invite you and your brother over to her house for a little party."

"A party?" 'what the hell is a party?'

"Hai. Usagi's friends will be there, I will, and her parents, well, they will only be there part of the evening, they're leaving for their own date, and, hopefully you and you're brother..."

"That's all?" It had clicked with Saffiru what a party was. He invisioned the parties being like the balls held on the Black Moon, hundreds of people coming, women in elegant evening gowns and sparkling gems... Saffiru had only been to one ball... he had been seven at the time... that was the last one on the god forsaken planet. Wiseman had come to power, and turned the half-way, semi-you could call it full of life; people thrived, no plants, but water was there, planet into a hellish waste land, with sulfer water. Few people survived that... namely the Clan itself. And it is difficult to hold a ball when there aren't enough people to attend it...

"Ah, Kuromun-san?" Mamoru waves his hand in front of Saffiru's stoned face. Saffiru shook his head.

"Nani? Oh, Gomen. What shall we wear? I'm sure my brother would love to come... I just... don't know if it is a good idea.... but... he'll come."

"Wear? What do you think it is? A ball?" Mamoru chuckled at Saffiru's confusd sweatdrop. "Just wears jeans and a t-shirt. That's all I'm wearing. The girls arn't getting dressed up or anything." Saffiru nodded, suddenly not sure what to expect.

"What time shall I be at Usagi-chan's place of residence?"

"...Uh... 7. Tonight. Can you make it?" Saffiru nodded. "Good. We need to, in Usa-ko's words, book it or we're gonna miss Organic Chem. You take that one, don't you?" Saffiru groaned.

"...hai..." The two raven-haired men quickly gathered their books and made like madmen, barelling through the crowd to get across campus.

5:00 PM

"Oniisan! I'm home!" Saffiru pushed himself into his apartment and looked around for his oniisan. Demando was nowhere to be found. Curious, he glanced about for any notes or sorts that might tell him his location.

The door clicks shut and Saffiru turned around and saw Demando walking in with a brown paper sack.

"What's that, Oniisan?"

"Some... items I felt your apartment lacked." He set the sack on the table and Saffiru dove into it.

"WINE?! ONIISAAAN!" Demando grinned in response and deposited the wine on a recently aquired wine rack. "WINE RACK!? NISAAAN!" Demando chuckled, shaking his head as he pulled out a bottle and unscrewed the cork.

"I'm taking up the new hobby of Tokyo Wine Connoisseur."

"...niisan... its so bad for you!" Demando shrugged and sipped the wine straight from the bottle and fell forward, coughing.

"Holy.... it has... much more flavor that my wine... I like it." He took another drink, letting the hot liquid burn down his throat as Saffiru watched with disgust.

"Usagi-chan has invited us over to her house for a party..." Saffiru watched as, again, Demando choked, but this time, he spewed all over the sink.

"Us-Usa-Usagi-chan?"

"Yes. You're odangoed Serenity who doesn't even know you're not human."

"When?"

"We need to be there in an hour and a half-?" Saffiru blinked as Demando threw himself into the bathroom to start showering. Saffiru sweatdropped.

7:00 PM

Ding dong!

Demando's breath was caught as a cute, golden-haired sprite opened the door, her hair wound up in odangos, the streamers curled slightly as the fell around her calves.

She wore a pair of blue jeans and a pink shirt. She smiled brightly, her eyes shining.

"Wai! You two made it!" She stepped back so they could walk into the house. Giggling. Usagi shut the door and skipped over to where her friends and Mamoru were all sitting.

"Kuromun-san, and Kuromun-san-"

"Please, Saffiru and Demando." Usagi blinked as they spoke in unison, then nodded.

"Okay, Minnia, we have Saffiru and Demando, and that's Ami, Rei, Makoto, Minako, and you both know Mamo-, er, Mamoru."

Saffiru nodded at each of the ladies in turn and smiled at his friend. Demando, meanwhile, was feeling very mishcievious. Perhaps it was the alluring scent of the odango standing just a hair away from him, or perhaps it was that half bottle of wine he had, but, that latter was unlikely, as Demando had a high intolerance to alchohol, and, well, he had spewed out most he drank.

Demando, too, nodded to the girls, only, he addressed them directly.

"Hello Mercury-san, Mars-san, Jupiter-san and Venus-san."

Deadly silence blanketed the room, and, to add to the tension, Demando looked over his right shoulder down at Usagi and smiled sweetly. "Konbanwa, Miss Moon."

~Wooo! Roganu and I wrote this on a whim while riding in the car for three hours, and as you can tell by the title, it went from semi-humerous to comdey. We couldn't come up with a title, and Roganu said 'God, there's a lot of butter on this popcorn!' and, well, it began. So, there is no detailed storyline, it's just humor. And we need help. Please review, and give us some suggestions as to what should happen next. We're both stumped with our otherwise wonderfully brilliant clifthanger. Only, it stumped the writers as well as the readers. So, any ideas, send our way! We'd LOVE to hear from you. The more reviews, the faster we'll write. We will give anyone who has an idea we use credit, but, as Roganu wanted me to remind you, this part is ours! Completely. 100%. Unfortunatly, it's all. We need help. Thanks guys!