For your reading pleasure we present an excerpt from the first manuscript of Varric Tethras's novel...
"THIS SHIT IS WEIRD"
The Inquisitor Lavellan Story
Sometimes Ellana would turn to me and say, "Please put this in my biography." I guess she knew I was already writing drafts and taking notes from the moment I met her. Very early in the Inquisition she realized the way the world would perceive her was beyond her control. That said... she would also tell me to lie, lie outlandishly. No one would believe her anyway.
No one really likes the Dalish, the Dalish don't even like the Dalish. It's unfortunate because they can be marvelous people when given the circumstance. Thedas has given them a raw deal yet they persevere on, heads held high, and when the moment is upon them they rise to the challenge for the best of everyone. I need only point out the Hero of the Fifth Blight and then Ellana herself. And yet we hunt them down, chase them off our land, call them thieves, plague bringers, and worse. Maybe the selfless heroics are just something Dalish children learn to preserve their clans and rest of us have benefitted from their sacrifice. Or maybe they're desperate to prove themselves to the rest of Thedas. I don't know, I'm certainly not an elf, but I do know that the Dalish do not deserve our scorn.
So despite Ellana's ardent wishes I tell you the most outlandish lies about her life, exaggerate beyond reason, and give to the most riveting page turner of our age I am going to tell you the truth. The truth is outlandish enough.
Ellana was born in 9.15 Dragon somewhere in the Free Marches to Eldrin and Mielhana of clan Lavellan. Eldrin was a clan hunter and Mielhana was clan Lavellan's First apprentice, as had most of the women of their family for decades. Around the time she was nine Ellana's magic began to manifest and her mother started her training. In 9.26 the clan's Keeper passed away and Mielhana became the Keeper, her best friend Deshanna became the First, and I guess technically Ellana became the Second, even though she would have been ten or eleven.
In 9.30, the year of the Fifth Blight, clan Lavellan was somewhere near the Vimmarmark, a plague swept through a nearby human village. Other human settlements in the valley and the Chantry refused to aid them. Mielhana, thinking the plague would not affect elves, as is frequently the case with human plagues, decided to go the village and help if she could, leaving her husband and daughter with the clan. It sounds like for a time she was able to help, however this was not one of those plagues that elves were immune to. Mielhana soon passed away. Ellana's father forbid her from seeing the body, which had to be burned, against Dalish custom. I'm not sure if this was a true plague or Blight sickness, we'll never know.
In 9.31 bandits attacked clan Lavellan. Ellana's father was killed. Orphaned, struggling with her burgeoning magic, and growing friction with Keeper Deshanna Ellana ran away for several months. On her way she happened upon the same bandit raiders who murdered her father preparing to attack her clan once more. Ellana was able to kill the raiders. Instead of finding solace and peace in revenge Ellana found misery. While looting the bandit's supplies Ellana encountered letters, mementos, and various other signs that she had taken the lives of men and women with families, children, and lovers waiting for them at home. In taking her revenge how many other people had she created like herself? That's some heavy shit to deal with especially for a mourning teenager.
Over the next seven months she states she lived in the woods at an old elf shrine she found, praying, meditating, and mourning. She might have intermittently visited human settlements at this time, but she told me she spent most of her time praying. After seven months and no divine signals Ellana gave up on the life of a hermit a decided to return to her clan.
Ellana took this circumstance as a valuable lesson that praying makes you feel better, but it never really solves any problems. I don't know if she had been expecting the elven All-Mother to show up breathing fire to smite her enemies for her or absolve her of taking a life, but Ellana recognized the guilt for ending another living person's life and she alone was responsible for the choice and its effects, not unanswering gods. Ellana began to believe the future of the Dalish was not through adherence to tradition, rather through making their place in the world. When Ellana shared this new point of view with the Keeper, Deshanna slapped her across her face. She might have also just been upset because she thought Ellana, her ward, had run away leaving everyone to think she had been dead for seven months, but that's still no reason to go around slapping people.
Even without Ellana's new belief in self reliance she had lost the position she had destined for since childhood as the clan's First. In Ellana's seven month absence and presumed death, clan Lavellan had recruited another mage, a young woman named Lathna, from another clan to act as First. When Ellana returned Deshanna determined Ellana could remain as Second, considering this generous since Ellana had "abandoned" her people for seven months and "lost sight" of the gods.
Ellana sought solace in her childhood sweetheart Valen, trading with other Dalish clans and human settlements, and befriending the boy who would become the clan's Third, Nerys. In 9.36 Ellana took Nerys to the Arlathvhen, the huge 10 year meeting of Dalish elves, to find a clan to accept him as a First or Second and as the representative for clan Lavellan. Dalish clans don't keep more than three mages at a time, so calm down, Templars. The fact that Deshanna sent Ellana as clan representative tells me that her standing in the clan wasn't as low and Ellana frequently thought it to be. Regardless Ellana assures me she had a difficult time living with her clan and never felt like she fit in. What happened next might explain why.
When Ellana returned to clan Lavellan in 9.37 Valen, her first love, devoted sweetheart, and best friend announced to the clan that he and Lathna were getting married. It was 9.37 everyone was at each other's throats, the Circles were falling apart, everyone thought the world was ending again, so it probably seemed like a pretty rational choice for Lathna and Valen to if they were in love. Since they've had three children since then I think that's a safe bet. After that heartbreak Ellana didn't feel like there was a place for her in the clan. Ellana was vague about what she did the next two years, but I think it involves spying on mages and Templars, obsessing over her magic, and cultivating her talent for being a smartass.
And so 9.41 came and the reason you're reading this book came about and I will tell you all…
ADDENDUM
This passage is absent from the final manuscript and published editions of biography. Possibly Tethras thought it was too sentimental: it offers a glimpse into Tethras's personal relationship with the Herald that is lacking from much of the rest of the book. He might have also found it intrusive of the Herald's private life: it describes an intimate relationship that ended painfully. However,more than likely Tethras removed the passage to distance Lavellan from any controversial figures.
There might be one final lingering rumor you're looking for either confirmation or denial of. Ellana's relationship with the apostate, who has been featured so prominently in this book as a member of the Inquisition. I won't say much, because frankly it's none of our damn business and I'm certainly the last person who should go around shedding light on other people's personal affairs. They were excruciatingly private about it. At least they thought they were, it's sort of challenging to keep your feelings private when you look at someone like they are the most wondrous thing to ever happen. And that's how he looked at her all the time. He'd find ways to be near her, he'd whisper stories that only she could hear, and when he thought no one was looking he'd reach out and hold her like she might vanish if he didn't tether her into his world. I don't know why things turned out the way they did.
For her part I think she felt the same way. I never wanted to bring it up, she's always carrying so many burdens, I've thought it's my job to remind her of pleasant stuff, the happy things. Why she fixes everyone else's problems. She'd lost so much in her life that when he left she pretended it never happened, like he would wander back at any moment with something new to share with her. Maybe she was tired of mourning. Maybe she was afraid she'd never stop mourning if she started. But you could see sometimes, in quiet moments, she was trying to find him again.
