It's almost 90 degrees outside, not much better in school and the only two people wearing long sleeves and pants are Tyler and I. I knew why I was, part self esteem, part hiding the scars. The new ones and the old ones. I didn't want people to see them so I made sure they didn't. That's why I took notice when Tyler was wearing long sleeves that day. He chalked it up to 'I didn't think it was gonna be this hot' and everyone bought it. I did too.
The next day the same routine, sweatshirt and jeans. I began to not believe him when he said he didn't mind the heat. I had been doing for almost a year now and I still was sweating through all my clothes. Something was wrong and I wanted to figure it out.
The third day he rolled up his sleeves during class only to pull them back down not even a second later looking frazzled. No one noticed but me. I began to believe he was harming him sled the way I had for some time now and I didn't want to see him go through that. No one should.
On day four he was and hour and a half late for school. He has puffy red eyes when he walked into class and all I could think was that he'd been crying and I wanted desperately to know why. It hurt me to see him this way especially since no one else seemed to see it. If we were friends I'd be right over there talking to him, making sure he's ok but were not. We never really were.
Day five he wasn't in school at all. I wanted to talk to him to tell him it'll be ok, that he can get through it but I couldn't if he wasn't at school. So I decided to skip school and find him. No one really cared, or even noticed if I was gone anyway so what's the point. I stopped by his house and was very thankful his parents weren't there. I didn't know how I would explain why I was there to them. All I wanted was to help and hoped it didn't backfire on me.
He opened the door in a matter of seconds one eye swollen and a busted lip. He licked the crack in his lip before he spoke.
"What do you want Gilbert? You here to harass me cause I'm not in the mood." He began to close the door but I stopped it with my hand. I have him the most sincere look I could muster and spoke quietly.
"You wanna talk?" I pointed to his lip and eye and he let me in.
"Not really but since you're here you might as well keep me compony." He kept up the douche bag facade most likely as a way to hide, a way to cope.
"Tyler-" he cut me off
"Look Jer it's just a busted lip from messing around. I fell while practicing and that's all." He said as he turned to the liquor cabinet.
"Tyler I know it's more than that. The past five days you've been hiding. I want to help." His head snapped around to look at me hand still on the door knob.
"How did you know!? I covered it HOW DID YOU KNOW!?" He was walking towards me screaming.
"Because I care Ty. Because I don't want you to go through what I went through. Because I've been doing it too and I know what it's like trying to hide." I looked him straight in the face and his one good eye fell to the floor.
"You don't care about me. You hate me and I hate you. End of story." He rubbed his eye grabbing the bag of ice off the corner table and placed it on his eye.
"I don't hate you Tyler I wanna help." He ignored the second part of my statement. He was always the guy who never needed help, he would go it alone and I know how that feels and it's not good.
"You and I fought on many occasions. I know it wasn't just about Vicki, you probably think I'm a dick..." He places himself at the end of the couch and I followed suit with the opposite end.
"I was stupid and didn't know how to feel with my feelings and I handled it wrong. For the recorded I don think you're a complete tool. You have your moments." I gave him a real genuine smile, something I thought he hadn't gotten in a long time.
"Well thanks Jer but I was a tool I never really liked her but you did and now she's dead. I don't deserve you being nice to me. I deserve you pin him me in the face and screaming at me. You really cared for her and I ruined that. I'm sorry..."
"I NEVER CARED ABOUT VICKI! I cared that she was with you because I WANTED TO BE WITH YOU! I pretended to like Vicki cause I didn't know how to handle it." He stared at me silent for a moment before finally speaking.
"What...?" His eye was practically bulging out of his head, the other one to swollen to do so. That's when I realized what I had just said but I didn't want to take it back in the slightest.
"Look Tyler I just came by to let you know you're not alone and if you ever need someone I'm here for you don't be afraid to call." I stood from the couch as he set the ice back on the table still silent from my previous confession. I made it almost all the way to the door when I felt a hand on my wrist.
"Jer..." He turned me around to gave him and before I could process what was happening he clashed our lips together, hands in my hair. Before I knew it he was pulling back looking into my eyes.
"Thanks Jer." He smiled for the first time since I had stopped by and it made everything that much better. I loved this man for years and now I don't have to hide it, bottle it up inside. "Thanks for noticing. If I ever need anything I'll be sure to call you." He still hadn't moved his hands from the side of my fave and my hair and we just sat there smiling for a moment. I tilted my head down and he let go.
I walked the rest of the way to the door but before leaving I turned back around to see him standing there ands in his pockets smiling at me. "Give me a call if you EVER need someone to talk to." He nodded his head as I walked through the door and started on my long walk home with many happy thoughts to fill my head.
