Title: Innocent Intentions, Painful Outcomes
By: Tasumi Ashiru
Shonen Ai Warning!!!



((Yue's POV))

If you ever loved me…
Tell me then why you left
Why you shoved me aside to a new master
One, you knew could never love me as much as you had
Someone you knew I could never love like I loved you.

If you ever loved me…
Tell me why you died
What was on your mind
What in God's name were you thinking
It certainly wasn't about Keroberus or me for that matter
Do you think I would be happy standing there listening to you
Saying how you would leave us forever
Because you had to

If you ever loved me…
Why did you ever drink that stuff
You knew it would kill you
And still you did it
Claiming it was your time to go
Your time to die
I would have rather you had taken me with you
It would have been kinder
I could have stayed with you forever

If you ever loved me…
Why did you make them
That annoying moon girl and that panther
Was I not good enough
Had you ever loved me at all

If you ever loved me…
Did you think I would stop searching for you
Rummaging to the ends of the earth just to find some fragment of you
Only to look in the mirror to see a fragment Sakura could not change
Unlike YOUR cards and YOUR staff
She has them changed but never me
I will never change
Only if you asked me I might
But only you

If you ever loved me…
Why were you reborn as that freak Eriol
You were kinder than that
Softer, sweeter than a thousand drops of honey
And yet you chose to be him of all people
The great Clow Read, now a little boy with too blue hair and a lack of obvious style
Just look at Ruby moon and Spinel sun
Ha what kind of demented names are those
As least me and Keroberus had style and flare
We were the envy of all sorcerers
Everyone wanted guardians like us
But you gave us life
Not Eriol or anyone else but you

If you ever loved me…
You would be here with me
Not some faded image I stare at in my mind
Blurring each day
Getting dimmer and dimmer
I am so afraid to forget you
To forget what love was like
What your kisses tasted like and your warm embraces felt like

If you ever loved me…
Why did you leave me so cold
Shivering in the darkness
My wings wrapped around me, sitting by Sakura's bed
Watching her like a dutiful guardian
She asked me to be her friend
I can't be
Being her friend would betray you
And you were the only one I swore never to betray
Because I love you and you knew that
Even as you sat there growing paler and paler
I loved you
Holding your hand in mine
Clutching it for dear life
Wishing you would stay with me forever
But instead I watched you die
Your soft black hair swept about your cheeks
Making you look more like an angel than you already looked
I wish you were here
But Eriol even said you are dead
I could search the world a million times and never find anyone like you
Because you are dead
That is what hurts the most knowing
Knowing you are gone from me forever

If you ever loved me…
Why did you make me fall in love with you
Only to leave me
I knew deep down it would never last
But I prayed it would
Because I needed you so much
You knew that and yet you died
Kissing me one last time
The only intact memory of you I was allowed to keep
And still you robbed me of them
Each of them
Each embrace, each scar I took defending you, each night you Made love to me
But I still remember
My body remembers what my mind forgets
I know I will never forget you
That is like asking a person to forget their family and lover all at once
And I will not forget
That is what pains you
Knowing you left this wound on my heart
That I will never let heal
Knowing that your death hurt me more than a thousand magicians could have
That is what kills you every time you look at me
That is why I never see your ghost anymore
Because you know it forces me to remember
To remember moon lit nights soft rose petals and the sent of peach blossoms that clung to your hair
To remember how you left me
How you died in my arms
Leaving me so very alone

((Clow's POV))

You say it like only you suffered, Yue…
I have too, do you think I wanted this to end like some pathetic tragic fairy tale.
I would rather think not.
I always believed I had more style than that, apparently not.
You think I left you, only because I wanted to be free.
I did it so I could teach you one last lesson.
The thing you needed to learn to be human.
I had to teach you grief.
What it was like to cry your heart out over one person.
I admit that it was selfish on my behalf.
But it did work, no?
At times I think too well.
You cling to each memory of ours like as though we will never be together again.
In this lifetime, that answer is no…
But the next, I promise to be with you.
I swear it, my glittering moon angel.
Even if you don't believe me now, just wait.
Being up here is a thousand times better than there.
It's peaceful, quiet, and it give me time to remember one thing.
The most innocent of intentions may hold the harshest of penalties.
My intent was to make you human, I hurt you worse than I ever intended.
I wanted to see them eyes, those cat like silver eyes hold something in them besides unending love and happiness.
Instead I made you cold like the moon herself.
Your eyes swollen with more tears than a river holds water.
I am an idiot, I grievously admit that.
But I did it because I love you.