You probably don't know what it feels like to get up in hopes of hearing from that special someone only to realize that is no longer possible. If you do, though, I understand your pain. It's everyday for me. It's my life, basically. So, when I woke up today it was no different. I climbed out of bed, lazily threw myself together then just sat and contemplated my existence without him.
But, if you are like me, then you probably have that one friend... That one friend determined to help you move on and see you happy again. Of course, your friend is most likely flesh and bone, right? Mine is an AI. She doesn't quite get how I feel, as you can imagine. "Sally, are you still dwelling over this. Why?" I watched her float out into the open from the projector on her little handheld self.
I didn't face her because I wasn't emotionally up for it. "Nicole... I loved him. It's not a simple thing to let go. I wish I knew how to explain it." I made a sad smile and turned to my kitchen sink, rinsing dishes because I needed something to do. Distractions had become my greatest allies. "And... I thought she was my friend..."
I felt a hand on my shoulder. I stiffened a bit and looked over my shoulder at Nicole's kind, innocent eyes. Sometimes I tended to forget she could be a solid being. It halfheartedly giggled at myself as I brushed my unkempt hair out of my face and set the dishes down. "Sally, look at me." Nicole said, when I turned away. I begrudgingly turned to face her, playing with my hair a bit out of sheepishness. "You are a strong woman. You won't dwell over this forever. I know... I know I don't understand but I'm still here, Sally. I will always be here." She hugged me and I hugged her back. "Please, tell me the story again. I want to understand. I want to feel with you!" Nicole cried, pulling away with a sad smile. "Please?"
I giggled at her persistence. She truly was the best friend. I walked over to a chair and sat and she took a seat on a hologram chair. "Okay, Nicole. But one more time. I hate this story." I said, sighing. I sat for a few seconds trying to recall it all...
...o0o...
"Sonic, I got exclusive Forget-Me-Knots concert tickets and I was wondering if you and Fiona felt like coming along. I mean, I know we aren't on the best of terms lately and she doesn't really like me but... If she doesn't want me to come I could just go alone or you could take my ticket and invite someone else." I smiled up at the blue hedgehog in front of me. He gave me a sad smile and I was confused. I expected a better reaction from him. I figured he must have had another fight with Fiona and he needed to vent. "Oh, I'm sorry. Is something wrong?"
Sonic shuffled his feet a bit and he couldn't look me in the eyes. "Sal... It's Fiona... I..." I suddenly felt nervous, scared maybe, "I can't be friends with you anymore. She gave me a choice and it was you or her. Sal... I can't lose her. I'm so sorry! I'll try to change her mind, I just-"
"No!" I shouted.
"What?"
"Stop! I'm through being your problem! I'm always your problem! I'm sick of being thought of as a backstabbing 'friend' and I'm sick of being hurt by you!" I cried. All the terrible memories came flooding in and it was all I could do not to cry.
"Sal, I know. But you aren't a problem-"
"Are you kidding me? I have always been your problem!" I poked my finger in his chest. "I just try to be there for you as a friend when you are hurt by her or yourself and suddenly I'm thought of as the girl stealing someone else's' man! Just because I like you! And you know what, Sonic? I have tried and tried letting go of you but I can't so I'm sorry that, that is everyone's problem with me!" I could feel the tears sliding, of course. Now on top of looking like a backstabbing jerk I probably look like a drama queen, too. "I'm gonna miss you Sonic but stop trying to be my friend. All it has done is hurt her, hurt you, and hurt me! Just... Good luck... I hope one day you can make it work without your third wheel..."
"Sally... I'm sorry." Sonic said, looking guilty.
"Don't be. I'm pretty much used to it by now... Good-bye, Sonic..." I said. I turned sped walk out of their. I looked behind me and watched him sigh and turn the other way. He just walked away. Kind of proved what I was thinking the whole time. I wasn't worth that much to him so why... Why did he keep fighting for someone he wasn't gonna chase after?
...o0o...
"So there you go, Nicole. Feel anything?" I giggled sadly, trying to lighten the mood. She just frowned. A tear brimmed in her eye. She couldn't stop staring at me. Out of slight guilt and more friend instinct I got up and hugged her. I squeezed her a bit. "I'm sorry."
"You're sorry? I'm sorry I have such a hard time understanding why you just can't let go sometimes. It's probably because I don't know why I can't let go of..." She started weeping a bit and I held her close. She was crying over someone we had lost a long time ago. Her first and only love.
"It's okay, Nicole."
"Why can't we just let go?" Nicole laughed through her tears. "Why is it so hard?"
"Because emotions are complicated." I said.
"You're telling me?" She said and we both laughed. Even sad, Nicole was a breath of fresh air.
Our sisterly moment was cut short when there was knock at my door. "I'll get it." I giggled and Nicole smiled. I walked over to my apartment door and opened the door. My heart dropped once I saw who was standing in front of me. "Oh... Hey, Fiona." I said.
"Hey... Sally..." She said, not looking at me. She looked guilty, sad too. "Can I- Can I come in?"
"No, you are not welcomed here." I said, glaring at her. "You can, however, stay here and tell me exactly what you came here for."
Her ears folded back against her head and she played with her fingers, still not looking me in the eye. "I'm sorry, Sally. I'm sorry for everything I've done." I tried to stay firm and seem emotionless. She had this uncanny ability to sound so... believable. It had caught me so many times in a trap but I just took a deep breath.
"What about Sonic?"
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"I don't care about me, what about Sonic? You just made him choose between one of his best friends and his girlfriend. Don't you owe him an apology?"
"What? No, I came here to apologize to you... I don't want... He can't..."
"Fiona, you aren't sorry at all and you never will be. You still think we were dating behind your back?"
Fiona seemed angry now, tears slipped down her face. "I just don't want you to steal him!" She growled. "Your so sickeningly perfect and I'm sick of being jealous of you!"
"Why can't you just trust him? He loves you!" I shouted. "When you gave him a hard choice he. Chose. You!" I poked at her chest, screaming.
"I do trust him!"
"No you don't, because if you did, you would have believed him when he told you over and over he was not dating me. When he provided you proof!" I cried, fist tightening. "You claim to love him so much but you can't trust him! You claimed you trusted me! You said you loved me! Forgive me, but I can't believe you anymore..."
Fiona glared at me and mumbled. "I hate you..."
"I know," I whispered. "Now leave me alone, please!" I said, slamming the door before sliding against it. I started crying because that took every bit of strength out of me. Nicole walked over to me and gave me a side hug. "You know what's funny?" I carelessly giggled. She shook her head. "I still love her..."
"Sally..." Nicole mumbled, pulling me close and rubbing my back. "Don't let her hurt you anymore. Don't let him hurt you anymore. Forgive and forget. It isn't worth it anymore."
"I know." I said. "I can forgive but Nicole... I can't forget. I still have his number. I still want to call him. But I also want to delete him from my life." I cried more heavily and Nicole just sat there hugging me until I ran out of tears. She was sure amazing like that. Putting up with the worst part of me.
It took Nicole a whole hour to cheer me up she even invited Bunnie and Antoine over, just for extra comfort. By that time I was smiling and laughing. I missed that. Smiling and laughing... "Sally-girl, you don't need 'em! Ah think you are a fine, fighter!" Bunnie playfully elbowed me in the side. Antione made a remark of saying I was still attractive to which Bunnie teasingly pushed him over. I laughed some more as Nicole and I watched the playfully bicker.
"See, Sally? One day you and I are gonna be just as happy as them." Nicole whispered to me. I smiled at her.
"I can't wait Nicole. If that ever happens, I promise to tell you everything." I said.
"Oh, it will happen." Nicole winked at me. I giggled at her but I still doubted her. I don't think I can ever see romance the same way again and I'm not sure I want to.
…o0o…
A small useless fan fiction which isn't all that great but it was good for me because I basically just vented a true story that happened to me (told a lot differently, of course) and man, does that feel just fantastic! My goodness, it feels lovely! I mean, it probably has millions of mistakes but if people really like it, I'll edit it but right now it was just a vent and not a big deal. But... THERE, SAMANTHA'S LIBRARY, I FINALLY WROTE SOME FAN FICTION! STOP BUGGING ME! XD Oh, and to be clear I actually really like Fiona, I just felt she fit this role. And Sally... well... I have always felt a connection with her... Btw, this was also inspired by the nightcore version of I Fell in Love Once Before. I love that song. XD
Also… I'M SO SORRY I HAVEN'T WRITTEN OR UPDATED ANYTHING IN SO LONG! Basically, I just… Lost faith in myself and this thing… this thing that this story is based off didn't help either. I shall try to get back to my normal writing self and use this site more often because I love it.
