Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon, nor am I recieving money for this fic. Warnings are in summary.
There was nothing natural about the rain that fell that day of that she was sure; it seemed to be more fitting than this gathering was. She knew Milotic must be somewhere nearby; she was after all his favorite pokemon. He had cherished her and in return she showed unconditional love and loyalty; it was a beautiful sight to see the two working so in sync with each other. Now, however, it just piled another layer of sadness on top of her; working its way to join the despair that was sinking into her bones. She stared emptily and almost unseeingly at the casket before her; it held the body of a man that deserves nothing less than to be alive. She felt a cry of grief travel up her throat before strangling it into silence; instead it wrapped around her heart and squeezed painfully.
How could she grieve, when it was partially her fault? What right did she have? She struggled to even show her face here, but she knew it would be an ultimate show of disrespect if she didn't. It wasn't that she didn't care, but that she didn't think she had the right to grieve, to say goodbye. All her choices had led to his death, every step she took was a step towards his untimely and gruesome demise. She'd never forget the sight that met her when she had went to Sky Pillar to join Zinnia in her quest. No one, not even Steven, knew of her intentions when going there. Perhaps if she had just told him, or Zinnia, anyone, he'd be here now. She didn't though, she was too caught up in it all. She wanted to both play hero once more and keep Steven.
Ever since they had been called to the Mossdeep Space Center things hadn't been right between her and the previous Pokemon League Champion. He had told her about his plan to use the ultimate weapon for mankind's own good. Sure it seemed all pretty on the outside, using it for a "good" purpose instead of war, however underneath it was still the same thing. Taking the life-force and energy of pokemon to fuel our own salvation. What right did we have? Sure they could argue that if they didn't then the meteor would wipe everyone from existence, including pokemon. There had to be another way; and of course, there was. Zinnia presented it. Steven didn't seem to understand, or perhaps didn't want to understand. He was set on doing it his way, and she was guilty in helping him collect what he needed to do so; even when she knew it was wrong. What choice did she have though? Who wanted to die?
So she went along until Zinnia had shown her a way. The strange girl that made everyone in the room uncomfortable and on edge, managed to get through to her but when Steven dismissed her and went directly back to stopping her, she knew it was pointless to argue with him. It always was, why would now be any different? They didn't have time to sit and argue it out; they had to act fast. So when Steven had told her to go to Wallace it was perfect. It was just a bit of misleading; no one had to know that while she did want to go after Zinnia it wasn't to stop her but to aid her. So she went, and she spoke to Wallace. When he left she looked at her map and cursed herself for failing to travel to Pacifidlog Town, she'd have to travel on the back of her Swampert; not that she didn't enjoy surfing on her beloved buddy but it wasn't very quick. She went anyway, it took a while. It took too goddamn long in fact, for when she reached there all she could do was scream. Her blood seem to curdle inside of her as it went cold, and her body expelled all oxygen as if she had been punched in the gut. Her very toes and fingers curled with the horror of all that red so out of place against the white suit and teal hair.
She didn't know how she managed to hobble over to Wallace's broken body but she did, only falling when she was at his side. Her shaking fingers turned his lifeless head towards hers, only to be met by his cold and empty blue eyes. He was dead. She could register nothing else but the fact that Wallace was dead. It was like everything in existence faded away and all that was left was his dead eyes, once so full of mischief and life, were hollow and dim. His body was so bloody and torn it made her want to scream all over again but no sound could escape her throat. Her mind was on a loop, nothing more than a broken record playing: He's dead, He's dead, He's dead; over and over again non-stop.
She wasn't sure how long she had sat there out of her mind and heart-shattered; but she was jolted out of it when a hauntingly shrill cry erupted from the water on her left. She whipped her head around to find Milotic staring at her, the expression on the pokemon's face was agonizing. It was like another knife in the heart. She staggered up as she looked at his beloved pokemon, "I have to keep going." She said in a voice devoid of any emotion, "It's the only way." Milotic dipped her head towards Wallace and gave another cry. "He's gone. He's dead. There's nothing to be done." She hated it, hated the way she said it, hated that it had to be said, that it was true.
She watched as Milotic slithered over to Wallace, it's beautiful large head gently nudging Wallace's side. Once, twice, up to five times. Each time faster and harder as if her trainer was only asleep and could be awoken by her desperate need for attention. She watched, feeling more and more detached from the situation, from her very body; as she wondered how many times it would take before Milotic realized her trainer was never going to wake up. Twenty-Seven. Twenty-seven nudges, his body had moved a foot but he hadn't sprang back to his feet with the grace he had always shown.
No, instead, she was left reeling as Milotic gave a shriek of utter despair, it was deafening. It was like shards of glass were being driven into her body as the creatures grief washed over her. She shook it off, "I have to go on. It has to be done." It had to be, or what did Wallace die for? And that's when she first heard the voice in her head, it whispered "He needn't have died at all. He died unsealing this chamber for you, so you could play hero while deceiving them all, he died so your perfect plan to save yourself could be successful. He died for nothing." She shook her head. She couldn't stop now, he was already dead, she couldn't bring him back. Even though she gagged when stepping over his body she did. She stepped into Sky Pillar for the first time; and for once she didn't give a shit about what was on the walls or her surroundings or capturing the many pokemon surrounding the temple. She wanted to get in and get out.
She numbly walked along, stepping over the rubble around her, spraying repels in the faces of all pokemon who dared to look at her. She couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that he was dead, or what she was doing, what was going on. It all felt so far away, in another life, why should she care? Her mind searched for a reason, the teal hair soon becoming silver in her mind. And she knew in that split second that the body out front could very well be Steven in a few hours if she didn't hurry up and do this. The idea of losing them both was unbearable, it would be the final shove over the cliff into an endless dark pit of insanity.
The thought of Steven strengthened her; even if she was going behind his back and directly against his wishes she knew this was what needed to be done to save them all without causing the death of many pokemon. She just wondered though, wondered if she'd trade the pokemon for Wallace. She knew he'd never want that but selfishly she think she would. Although than they'd all have to live with guilt, Wallace wouldn't be able to cope with that horrible knowledge. She'd be damning him to a life of guilt. She didn't know what was worse seeing him broken and dead outside as the waves callously washed over his body as if he was mere trash discarded into the water as his warm blood turned cold and joined the waves or watching him slowly wither into a self-hating depression that killed the light in his eyes. He'd never be the same.
She still had Steven, all of it now, was for Steven. There was nothing else for it but to make sure no one else she loved died and that Wallace's death meant something. She blinked back her tears that suddenly formed and saw Zinnia waiting by the ladder. The young draconian was talking but she wasn't listening, it was like a roaring in her ears. Seeing Wallace like that was a horrifying shock, she didn't stop to think who had done it, but there was only one culprit. Zinnia's Grandmothers voice echoed in her head, "She'll stop at nothing, and she'll destroy anything that gets in her way." It had been her. She had killed him, had brutalized him in the most heinous of ways. By the looks of it it had been a long and painful death. How much had Wallace had to suffer before finally dying?
She felt a hurricane of hatred and anger rise up in her, creating havoc and chaos in her chest as her eyes narrowed. Fury was pumping through her, her own heartbeat echoing in her head. Nobody could ever hear Wallace's anymore. She felt a bitterness rise in her throat, causing it to ache as she blinked and swallowed it all back. She had to get through this. She had to do this. Though she wanted to vomit at the prospect of working alongside someone who had murdered one of her closest friends and mentor; she didn't. She had to keep going. It was all the was left for her. She didn't care anymore, so long as Steven was safe, she didn't care about anything more. Wallace was dead, Steven was facing death, her life didn't matter. Nor did Zinnia's.
She followed the young girl up a few ladders, blankly staring at the girl; she found it disconcerting that the girl never even mentioned taking the life of such a beautiful man. Of all the people on earth that deserved to live Wallace was on top of the list. He brought something to the world not many could or did. All she brought was death and grief; and yet she walked around like she was some know-it-all, holier-than-thou, better-than-you goddess. She could feel her face redden but she pushed it all down again and refocused. When she stepped out onto the roof, or altar whatever she called it, she didn't bother looking around. Gone was her curiosity and sense of wonder, gone like Wallace was. She watched in disinterest and emotional exhaustion as the Legendary Beast Rayquaza was called forth, it certainly made a grand entrance but she hardly took note. It was for this reason that Zinnia was the first to notice something was wrong, and was the first to put the puzzle together as her bag glowed brilliantly. As she walked towards the creature to entice it into a battle in order to win its allegiance, she hoped so much that it would just tear her to shreds instantly. It didn't however and she sent out her beloved Charizard to do battle. She was surprised how easily Rayquaza seemed to give in.
It was almost disappointing, she was expecting and almost hoping for a fight. She had so much anger she needed to get out but as she stared at the pokeball in her hands she felt pent up aggression turn to a hopeless nothingness. As she released the beast from the ball and jumped on its back she knew it was almost over and she could rest soon. What happened next seemed to go by in a flash. The ancient dragon was fast and strong, soon the meteor was in pieces and Deoxys hidden away in its depths surged forward in an angry plight. She merely threw a Master ball at it, it didn't resist. So much for the power of the legendaries. One easily defeated by an ordinary pokeball and the other fallen to a man-made creation. It was pitiful. Although one could argue how pathetic they were if they were nearly destroyed by something so powerless to resist their own design.
Usually she'd be excited and happy about catching any pokemon, let alone a legendary, but everything seemed meaningless now. What did it all matter when Wallace would always be dead? She barely registered the beautiful shining stars, the planets that gleamed in their orbit, the way Rayquaza's body stretched as it flew through jet streams to get back to earth. She could imagine the joy in the Space center, the meteor was gone and they had to do nothing to achieve it. Wallace just had to die, but they were all safe, yay! She soon felt the ground beneath her feet once more and angrily cast off the magma suit. Her duty was done, and now all that was left for her was the anger and pain. She stared at the girl before her, the one whose hands were stained with the blood of her beloved mentor. Zinnia seemed pleased she had been successful, but soon May would wipe that look off her face. She'd turn it into one of pure agony just like Wallace's face had to be when he died. Afraid, alone and in agony. It wasn't right that he died that way, or at all. It tore at her heart and mind.
The rage kept boiling up as the picture of his dead body came forth in her mind, "You did it! I knew you could May!" She reached into her bag and released her pokemon, they were all dear to her. Their bond so close they looked at her with love and trust in their eyes as they awaited her orders. Zinnia seemed surprised but she just chuckled, "You already beat me!" But nonetheless the unsuspecting fool released her pokemon. May's eyes searched the dragons before her, each one had a bit of blood on it; it did nothing but make her blood boil more. Both groups of Pokemon simply stared at each other, until May's voice sparked an outright war. "Kill."
Charizard simply nodded and flew up high, swampert looked back but obeyed, Lucario got in stance. She could tell they were surprised at the order but none of them would disobey.
It was Zinnia who couldn't comprehend what she was hearing, she was utterly shocked, and she yelled, "Defend yourselves by any means possible!" Her face twisting into a determined and fierce scowl. May's face was cold, though the heat of the fury in her chest was reaching the point of implosion. She didn't even bother to watch the battle, she knew her pokemon were stronger and better than Zinnia's even with type disadvantages. It was only when all of Zinnia's pokemon were fainted with her own pokemon standing over them that she dared to walk across the battlefield. Zinnia raced forward but stopped, who would she protect of her six pokemon?
She felt the young draconian's eyes on her, they were a satisfying mixture of anger, confusion, fear and desperation. Perfect. She could only imagine how scared Wallace must have been, how much agony he had been in, how all alone with nothing but the eyes of his enemy staring down at him with such disdain as he died. Her jaw clenched as Zinnia shouted, "What're playing at? What're you doing!? Call them off!"
An impossible smile broke upon her face, but it was cold and depraved. She didn't think it was possible to smile just then but she did. "Oh no, I don't think I will. You're going to meet the same end you brought Wallace to my dear, did you think I'd let you get away with killing someone so dear to me?" She was a few feet from Zinnia but as the girl opened her mouth May pounced. She landed hard on Zinnia's chest, she grabbed the black hair of her nemesis and drove the girl's head into the ground over and over until the body beneath hers stopped struggling. The draconian wasn't dead or unconscious, just dazed, exactly how she wanted her. She threw her on her stomach and sat on Zinnia's spine, grabbing the girls' hair she pulled Zinnia's head up and made her watch as her pokemon were literally torn apart in a bloody mess. First went the legs and arms, the wings and any other appendages than the abdomen was torn to shreds. Zinnia was sobbing and screaming. Good. She deserved it.
"Clean yourselves up." She called to her pokemon. They disappeared over the edge to the ocean, Charizard flying up high and fast, shaking off the blood. The carnage that lay before her was almost complete, she took out a knife. It was almost satisfying to hear the girls' heart broken sobs. Yes she had broken the draconian completely. She wouldn't kill her though, no. It'd be too easy, too fast and too good for Zinnia. No, she knew once a Draconians' duty was done they were done as well. She smiled, but she'd make sure she'd never forget this day. She'd make her ugly, and paralyze her. She most likely would die very slowly on top of the tower or some place else; but if she survived she'd never be normal. She'd be paralyzed and ugly. All alone and cursed til the day she died. She'd be useless and all that pride of hers would be gone; all Zinnia would know is shame, loneliness and hopelessness.
The girl's eyes stared up at her with venom and pain, but it meant nothing to her. She drove her knife into the spine of the girl, not fast or hard but simply chipped away at it, severing bits of it completely. She could remember the anatomy lessons her old professor taught her when he realized she was obsessed with the human body. She knew just where to injure the spine to make Zinnia permanently paralyzed without death. When the Draconian went limp she knew she was successful. She wiped the sweat off her face, her muscles aching; people never took into account how tough the human body was. Exhaustion was taking her over but she had one last thing to do before she had to face what lie beneath them. It only took a few seconds to carve up the girls' face with her knife. Blood was every place, the entire altar seemed stained with it but it didn't phase her. She stood shakily looking down at her handiwork and simply turned away. It was over but as she stared at the ladder down she'd rather stay and face what she had done. That was easier than going back to Wallace. She knew she had to though; there was no other choice. With a heavy heart, exhausted mind, and feet that dragged on the floor she descended ladder after ladder.
And finally she was in front of her dead mentor once more. She felt tears cloud her vision at the thin body beneath hers. His eyes just as lifeless as before, his body just as limp. It was like a dull rusted knife being slowly driven into her heart. She fell to her knees beside him, finally letting the tears fall even as she clasped his cold wet hands. Her throat swelled with sobs, and she let them out in an anguished howl, "Please…." She whimpered, as if begging would bring him back. "Please, I'm so sorry. Wallace I'm sorry. I never meant...I'm sorry." She held his hand to her chest as she sobbed. She could see the outline of Milotic on the opposite side of him by the water curled up to his side, but nothing past that. She just wanted to go back, go back to a time where everything was fine, before she even got involved with it all. It was too late.
She sat there for quite a while just staring down at her mentor, the man she had confided in, had turned to in all her times of need. She never could with Steven, she had had such a crush on the silver-haired man that sometimes it rendered her speechless. Wallace though, was different, he was more than a friend, he was the closest thing she ever had to a father figure, or perhaps an uncle. He had been the one that was most concerned for her when she went into the Cave of Origin to fight Groudon, the one that spurred her on to greater achievements but was there to pick up the pieces or heal her when she failed or needed him to. He never would be again, she'd never hear his laugh or see his smile, he'd never do the million things he loved. It was over for him, completely over; when it wasn't his time, he wasn't ready to go. She knew it was partially her fault and she hated herself completely for it. She'd never forgive herself.
She noticed the tide shifting and washing over one side of him, she got to her feet, swaying almost, "Lucario please." She called out, it was amazing how fast a pokemon got to you, "Help me with him." with her pokemon's help they carried his body closer to the entrance, far away from the water. Charizard stared down at her before using his flames and body to dry wallace off. She stroked the fire pokemon's snout, "Thank you." She was so lost in her own world that she forgot another existed; she was reminded however when her pokenav went off, she could hear it ringing through static. She breathed in, and answered, she winced as she heard the celebrations in the background, but was grateful to hear Steven's voice come over the strained link. "You did it May! The meteor is gone, you must tell me what you did! I am so proud." The words meant nothing to her but his voice was everything to her. She shut her eyes, she didn't realize how alone she had felt until his voice washed over her. It was a small comfort to her ever-growing agony but it was addictive and she needed more.
She hesitated though, she knew Wallace and Steven were best friends, how could she tell him? She knew she'd have to be the one to break the news. "Steven." She said weakly in a small exhausted voice that betrayed the fact that she had been crying.
"May? What is it?" His voice was suddenly filled with concern, the noise of the party behind him faded, "Are you okay? Are you hurt? Where are you?"
"I'm...I'm okay." She said, she was panting though as her heart raced and she felt breathless. She bit her lip gently, "It's not me Steven. I'm at Sky Pillar still, by the entrance. Steven...Wallace is dead." She felt a sob erupt from her throat at the revelation, it was as if it was making it true and permanent by speaking it to someone else. No longer could she pretend that he wasn't or that there was a chance he'd come back.
There was silence on the line for a few seconds, before it went dead, and she felt the tears fall once more. Hours had passed since he had died, his body was suffering from the elements. She took out a blanket from her backpack and covered him up. His body seemed so much smaller beneath the massive fleece blanket. She sat, leaning back on the cliff, and just silently cried for everything lost. She knew Steven would be on his way soon, and sure enough not even ten minutes later he jumped on the ground. The tall older man stared down at the blanket, she gritted her teeth as he lifted the edge of it to peek inside; as if he had to confirm that it really was his best friend. The sight that met his eyes, made him fall to his knees. She grabbed the blanket out of his hands, shaking her head she laid it back on the ground, "Don't look."
She could see the pain, disbelief and agony in Steven's eyes, it ripped her eyes out. She nervously sat next to him, "Zinnia did this." He said quietly. She nodded, "Yes, he was...gone by the time I got here. I couldn't stop though, it needed to be done." She felt long fingers wrap around hers, "I know." He said softly, "Where is she?"
Her eyes hardened and she looked away, "I don't know she disappeared. She was injured, I don't think she'll survive." She lied. She could feel his eyes on her, but she didn't meet them. "Call your pokemon back." He said in a hard voice. She sighed, this was like Steven. To shut down and turn away from anything that evoked strong emotion in him. She took out her pokeballs and in a matter of seconds they all came back. She pulled out her flute and with a simple tune Latios flew towards them. When she turned back she wasn't surprised to see that Steven had Wallace's body cradled against him in a bridal hold. She climbed on Latios behind Steven. She never thought it would go down like this, bringing back Wallace's body was almost too much to bear. She guided Latios to Mossdeep, but felt completely at a loss as to what to do now.
She just numbly followed Steven into the house, he laid Wallace on the couch. She wanted to cry, but she couldn't, she wouldn't let herself anymore. Not when the man before her had known Wallace much better and much longer than she. He was leaning over the sink when suddenly his fist came down on the wooden countertop, the glasses shaking and clinking together. His arm swept out fast and hard shoving it all onto the ground. She froze, never before had she seen him lose control of his emotions. His shoulders tensed for a bit as a ringing silence fell. He slowly turned around and said, "Forgive me May, things aren't as they should be right now."
She nodded, no they weren't.. Everything was spinning out of control.
