All Too Late
Summary: He said something he should have never said. But he realizes it all too late.
A/N: Wow. It's been a while huh? Sorry for never uploading. Got busy. Got lazy. Wrote this instead. Changed it 40 times. It's completely different than what it used to be. But I'm really happy with it so I don't care. So enjoy this and hopefully I'll update Accepting soon.
Also I'm sorry Meg for changing the story I know I put you under pressure for proofreading and now I ruined your work. ;-;
Disclaimer: I don't own Ross, Laura or anything mentioned. I'm not rich yet.
ENJOY
For someone like him, it takes a lot of convincing to leave the house without somebody following behind.
Whether it would be his girlfriend or his siblings, he can never catch a break from reality and actually have some peace.
When he can escape, he sneaks around the back door while everyone's distracted. He learned never to take any vehicle otherwise someone will find out that something's missing and he'll be the culprit.
He's thankful he can run, if it wasn't for that, he would have been stuck with everyone else stuck in his own eternal hell.
Don't get him wrong, he loves everyone, but my god, he can't stand being around everyone 24/7. The constant chatter, yelling and bickering. All of it. He's slowly grown tired of the incessant noise. All he wants is peace.
But it was too much to ask for.
So running away everyday makes up for every second of noise he hears.
He'd run for a good mile or two. All down to a small part of LA where he can get his well deserved peace.
It's a quiet apartment complex which stands about three stories. It's fairly small, but that's what he needs. Hell, it's everything he needs.
He walks up about two flights of stairs, down the hall, to his right is a dark grey door with a metal plate that has 312 etched on it.
He digs for the keys. But after a moment of patting every pocket he can find, he realizes he left the keys back over there. With the noise.
Sighing, he slides down the door and on to the bristly "Welcome" place mat. He checks his watch.
5:20. She should be here soon. He thinks quietly.
They made a deal to meet at 5:30 for a brief talk. He hardly gets the chance to talk with her anymore. He remembers that there were days once where he couldn't even go an hour without talking to her.
It dwindled to once a week, then a once month, then every three months, and now its has been nearly five months since he's gotten the chance to say more than two sentences to her.
He never tells anyone this, but he loves talking to her so much. He can talk about anything and everything to her, she never gets annoyed. She's always all ears and eyes and gives such great advice that he doesn't know what he'd do without her.
He loves her so damn much. He knows quite well that she loves him back. He wants to be with her forever. So what's the problem?
She's not his girlfriend.
Moments later, he hears footsteps climb up the stairs, he doesn't think much of it but once he sees that wave of amber hair, he instantly stands up and makes himself look like he wasn't sitting on his place mat for ten minutes.
Once she sees him, she gives him her bright smile and runs to give him one of her special hugs. He squeezes her cause its been so long since he's held her. Her hair still smells of vanilla and she knows he loves that.
"Hey." She lets out quietly.
"Hey." He replies.
Silence.
"Locked out again?"
"Yup."
"When will you ever learn?" She giggles. God he loves her giggles.
"Never apparently."
"Good. Cause the cloudy weather is calling my name. I have to stay outside."
He chuckles lightly, "Alright, whatever you say princess."
"I told you to stop that!" She yells as she slaps his arm.
"But where's the fun in that princess?" He teases.
"Ugh," She groans as she slides down the door. "I hate you."
Sliding down, he responds, "Aw, I'm wounded. I thought you loved me."
"No."
"Now come on, you can't be mad forever cause you loveeeee me." He cooed.
"I hate it when you're right."
All he does is smile victoriously. Afterwards, they retreat back to silence. There was nothing special about it. It was just silence. Until he decided to whistle, of course, that earned him a glare from her.
After what felt like years, she speaks up, "So... What's up?"
"Nothing. I just wanted to see you." He replies as a blush creeps up his cheeks.
"Aw, Ross." She smiled at him lovingly.
His heart nearly stopped... because that's the effect she has on him. Snapping out of his trance, he looks at her intently. He then notices she has on a sweatshirt and a pair of leggings. She never goes all out to meet him and he's completely okay with that. His eyes travel down to her hands. It's just so close that he could just-
No. He can't. They're dating other people. He can't just hold someone else's hand like that.
While he was yelling at himself, he never noticed her turning to face him, grabbing his face and kissing square on the lips. Once he does realize that their mouths are fused together, he feels a home, even as he sits still in shock, he never expected this. But once he does, he pulls her by the waist (and no it's not scary) and deepens the kiss.
The kiss is well.. A kiss. He doesn't know how to actually explain it. Cause, how does one describes a kiss with their best friend against the door of their apartment?
For one, it's called cheating.
Second, he doesn't care.
But when did he ever care?
"L-" He breathes out. He can barely say her name but he knows it's enough to get her attention. He's surprised, considering how loud their breathless sounds are. He takes a moment to take in her features. God, she's gorgeous. She's barely wearing anything fancy, but to him she still looks like a goddess.
Both of them know how much they want to be together. They both know doing this sordid session is against everything they should believe in. But god, they would rather run away and make out in every corner and go against everything if it means they get to do the former. If it means they get to be together.
"Y-yeah?" She shuttered out.
"We can't be doing th-this." He then realized that he too, was stuttering.
"I know." She replied biting her lip. He got distracted when she did.
"Then why are we?"
"It's like an addiction. Once you start, you can't stop. Even if it's wrong." She whispered breathless.
He slowly pulled away and stared at her. Her lips are slightly bruised and by the feel of his own, his are too. He doesn't care. All that matters is that she's right in front of him and she's all he can see. It's perfect.
But what she sees is different. She sees a mistake. She has a loving boyfriend who's so caring and supportive and yet the guy in front of her isn't him. What she doesn't realize is that maybe that's part of the problem? She frowns, scolding at herself internally for doing this.
"Are you okay?" He asks worryingly.
"Y-Yeah," She stutters. "I'm fine."
"Are you s-"
"Yeah I am."
"Are-"
"GOD DAMN IT ROSS I'M FINE!" She finally yells in his face. This causes him to squirm a bit and look down in shame.
Sighing, she says, "I'm sorry. I'm just... I'm just so guilty. I hate lying. Cheating. Yet," She pauses and sighs, "Here I am. Doing exactly that. With you. I feel awful, and you should be too."
"I am. But... Unlike me, you're happy with your boyfriend... I'm... I'm not happy with my girlfriend. She's great and all, but I don't think she's right for me... And I don't know how to end it. I'm scared."
She bites her lip. She didn't have a single clue of what his relationship is like. Quite frankly, she doesn't wanna to know because it's just something she never really cared to know about. All she knew is that they were going along fine. However, she never considered he feeling was unhappy and trapped.
"Just follow your heart."
He was quick to disagree, "Yeah, but then I get stabbed repeatedly in the heart. So, yeah, no."
"How'd you get stabbed?" She asked as she knitted her eyebrows in confusing.
"She has a knife."
"Where did-Never mind."
"Yeah."
"Now what?"
"I don't know, Laura. I don't know."
Later that evening, the atmosphere was tense. He was worried. She was pissed beyond compare. So walking in was definitely going to be a challenge for him.
"Hey."
"Where were you?!" Was shot right in his face and he hasn't been inside for a good thirty seconds. This instantly soured his mood.
"I was out." He spat.
"Out where?"
"Why does it matter?"
"I've been trying to contact you for hours! I thought you were held hostage or killed!"
"I wasn't held hostage. Nor was I killed obviously."
"Then where were you?!"
"I was with a friend, alright?!"
"Who was this friend?!"
Giving her a hard glare, out came, "None of your damn business."
He'd finally had enough of her shit. She was only using him for his fame and money. She didn't actually do anything noteworthy. She suffocates him all the time. With her god damn ugly ass ascots.
"Urgh! I hate you!"
"Feeling's mutual."
On the other side of things, she was nervous and guilty. He had no clue what was going on. She expected him to blow. But all that came out was a lot of confusion.
"Hi."
"Hey."
"What's up?" She asked.
"Nothing much. Where were you all day? I thought we agreed to hang out." He replied upset.
"Oh... Right. I forgot. That's all."
"It's okay. We all forget. We can hang out tomorrow. Sound good?"
"I wish. I got practice tomorrow."
"Aw. We'll hang another time. Is that okay?"
"Yeah. Great."
Silence.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine."
"You don't seem fine. Is everything okay? You know you can tell me anything." She hesitates for a moment.
"Don't worry. Everything's... Fine."
Neither of them believed that. He knows something is wrong. And she doesn't want to say anything.
So for now, he'll let it go.
He didn't expect her to comeback the next day, but he was still prepared for a visit. What he wasn't expecting was her in a state of panic.
"Laura? Are you okay?" Ross asked worryingly.
"I wish."
"C'mon in, I'll get something to drink and we'll talk."
"That won't be necessary. I just wanna talk."
"Uh.. Alright."
"Can you shut the door?" He did as he was told.
"Okay so why are we-" He was then cut off when she pulled him into a hug. About a second later, he feels his shoulder getting sticky and wet. Immediately his mood went down. Both in confusion and sympathy. Nonetheless, he wrapped his arms around her tiny body and hugged her tightly.
"I-I'm such a horrible person."
"Laura, don't say that, you're an amazing and beautiful person."
"Easy for you to say." Laura replied rolling her eyes.
"No it-"
"Yes it... Yes.. yes... Yes it is..."
Gently cupping her face, he stared at her glassy eyes and red face. Someone had obviously hurt her and she came to him. A thought passed through his mind wondering or knowing that if she wasn't hurt she would have never came. But for now, he let it slip. For now at least.
"What happened?"
"I told him." Almost immediately blood ran through his veins and his eyes filled with fury.
"Wait! Before you hurt him... Please don't. He didn't do anything." He immediately softened.
"Then what happened?"
"Well..."
Flashback
I walked back home after practice since it was really close. And I was about to tell him about what happened... I just wasn't ready. But I was going to nonetheless.
When I walked in, he was watching TV as normal. Guilt piled up because in just a few minutes, I was gonna ruin a two year relationship with something so dumb.
His face lit up when he saw me. I gave him the strongest smile I could muster. I hated that he was so happy and I was about to bring him down.
"Hey!" He greeted happily.
"Hi." I replied as I smoothed my lips to a thin line.
"What's wrong? You've been off for a few days and it's worrying me. Is everything okay? You know you can tell me anything."
Almost instantly my mouth started to dry up. My throat felt like it was being choked. I could barely breathe. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't do it. I just couldn't.
And finally, I said something. "I... I... I... I'm sorry."
"What? What are you sorry for?"
"I-I'm so sorry."
End of Flashback
"I couldn't do it. I broke it off before I could get a word out. So I ran out and came here. Because you're the only one who gets the situation."
"Because I am the situation."
"Fair enough."
Silence then fell upon the two.
"I'm sorry Laura."
"What?"
"I'm so sorry. For all this. I was so caught up in getting away from everyone that I never took in account for you and how everything was for you. I forgot your reason for being here isn't the same as mine. You tore a perfect relationship apart for me. All because of me. What's the point of all this if it's only a mess? What's the point if you don't actually love me?"
"Ross..." She whispered quietly, "Don't say that. Don't even think about that. I love you just as much or even more than you love me. Don't place the blame on yourself like that."
"Laura... I waited so long for you to love me. It only came at the worst time. In this terrible situation. H-How can I be so sure everything's genuine? How can you be so sure?" Ross asked quietly.
"Is that what you think? You think I don't love you? You think I'm playing?" She paused. "You think this is all a joke?"
He hesitates,"A little. Y-yeah." He lowers his gaze. He can't look at her anymore.
A moment passes before she replies, "Oh. I-I see. I-I see it crystal clear." She pulls away from him and starts towards the door.
"Where are you going?" He asks softly.
"Maybe it was a mistake to come here. Maybe it was all just a mistake." She whispers.
"You're leaving me?" He questions nervously. "You can't be serious. You can't leave!" He cries.
"I was never with you to begin with. And I am serious. I-I'm sorry but, I have to go now." She chokes out.
And with that, she opens the door and leaves. As the door closed, his heart cracked open.
"Laura... Please... Don't leave. I-I love you." He tries to say before the door completely shuts.
But it was too late. She was gone.
That night, he laid wide awake. He lost her. But at the same time, was she ever his? Was anything they had real? Was all this worth losing his girlfriend and his secret lover? He got shivers at the sheer thought of his ex. Tears clouded his eyes as he got flashbacks. The screaming. The fear. The blood. That fucking knife.
He remembers that day like it was yesterday. They almost broke up. Almost. But god he wishes they did. Because every times he sees her, he sees the crazy drunk who's been giving him nightmares.
And it all started because he was late.
*Flashback*
He was coming home after taking a day off. He didn't do too much. Hiked. Took a few aesthetically pleasing photos of nature. It was a pretty calm day off and he really enjoyed it. Although, he did go alone. So she didn't come on his behalf. To make up for it, he told her he'd spend the evening with her.
But he got too invested in the hiking and the "Tech-Free" idea to realize it was getting late. So when he got home, it was well past nine. And she wasn't happy he broke my promise. Even though, he never really promised her he'd do it that day. But that was his mistake.
So when he came, she was giving him a hard glare. She was dressed in a fancy navy dress and her hair and make up was ready as if she was ready to leave the house and go out. Him, on the other hand, was dressed in ripped jeans and an old Prince tee. He glanced down at the table. It was littered with a bit more than a few bottles of beer. He turned my attention to the fridge, the door was propped with an empty beer bottle and half of it was empty expect for a few things. Turning his attention back to the room, it was also scattered with broken picture frames. Glass was everywhere.
That's when it hit him. When she realized he wasn't coming, she helped herself to the stash of beer. But why? He was just late. At the time, he thought she went overboard.
That was at the time.
He never realized the bottles were weeks old. He never realized the broken frames were there for a while. Mainly because they were glued back together before being knocked down again.
Turning back to her, the look in her eyes just spelled murder.
He'll never forget how angry she was at him.
"You said we were gonna go out tonight." Ice laced her voice.
"I didn't say tonight. I said some evening. I never meant this evening." He sighed.
"I don't care. You prom-"
"I never fucking promised shit." He gritted out.
"Don't you dare talk your girlfriend like that!" She slurred out.
"Girlfriend?! At this rate I doubt it! And don't talk to you like that?! You're not my mother! You're not even older than me!" And she marched her way up to him, raise her hand and she didn't hesitate to slap him across the face. He stared at her wide eyed as he held his cheek in pain.
"You're such an asshole!" She slurred out once again as she made her way to a room. He thought of checking what she was doing but ultimately went against it. He had more things to worry about. Like why wasn't he running the hell out.
A moment later she came with something in her hand. At first, he didn't think much of it. But the second he saw it shine in the light, his heart dropped to the center of the earth. His eyes widened, his whole damn body started to shake. He couldn't move fast enough and the next thing he knew, she had him against a wall with a knife just millimeters away from his arm.
He was gonna die. Or at least he thought he was. There was nothing scarier than a drunk girl with a knife.
"D-don't y-y-you think is a bit m-much?" He shuttered nervously. But apparently it only made her angrier. The blade made contact with his arm. She didn't cut him but god it felt like it was dug into his bones. She looked at him straight in the eyes. All he saw was alcohol. This wasn't the girl he knew. This was monster.
"Fuck you." She muttered as she made a slit in his arm. It burned like hell. He's gotten scrapes and scars from falling but it was nothing like this. He did everything he could to stop any tears or signs of pain.
She kept the blade in his arm for a solid minute. She look as if she wanted to make sure that she indeed slit his arm before dropping the blade on the floor and retreating back to the couch.
"Run." She whispered.
Someone call Usain Bolt, he thinks he just broke his record.
*End of Flashback*
He turns over in his bed as he tries to shake off the memory. But it sticks to his brain like glue. All he wants is for it to leave. All he wants is for her to come back. Be in his arms again. But he already ruined his chances and now she'll never come back.
He should have never doubted her love. He should have never doubted anything. It was his doubt that made her turn around and leave. And now he's got nothing left. He lost his whole world in a matter of seconds. He realized too late.
She left too soon.
She was lying awake just like him. She came back to Andrew and apologized for the scene she caused. He forgave her. And their relationship was rekindling itself. Now as she lies in his arms, listening to his heart beat, she wonders. What if she didn't walk out? Would she have fixed things with him? Would she be in Ross' arms instead of Andrew's? She doesn't know the answer. All she knows is that he doubts her ever loving him.
He doubts everything. Everything they've ever had. Her heart whittles in pain as she remembers how he admitted it. How his voice sounded. She remembers how as she was about to leave, he asks if she was actually gonna leave. She did.
And thinking back, she doesn't regret it. She never did. She has so many better things in her life and he isn't any of them. He's not part of her future. He was, but he isn't anymore.
There's better people in life and doubters aren't one of them.
He isn't one of them.
The next day, he wakes up thinking everything that happened was just a dream. But the pain in his heart tells him it was in fact very real. He ponders if he should call her. It takes him to grab his phone, open his contacts, tap her name and hover his thumb over the call button before he realizes she won't answer. And it takes him to close his phone to realize she'll never answer.
And then it takes him to look at the window to realize she'll never come back. That she'll never be his again.
That he's not worth it to her anymore. All he wishes now is if he could take back what he said. Then she would still be his.
But it was all too late.
Fin.
A/N: So... I'm not liable of any of your cries. I didn't force y'all to read it. You did that on your own. SO I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT AND I'LL YOU GUYS LATER.
~BNYC
