AN ESSAY ON SELF CONFIDENCE

I have had trouble with self confidence in the past. People have bullied me in many ways. Physically, with words, gossip and rumors, cyber bullying, intimidation, and by leaving me out. This year I have decided to stand up to people like that. They're lives are the ones that are going to go downhill. It's not right to let those thoughts or words get to me. And anything physical can be reported to an adult.

Bullying has always been a problem for me. A big part of it is that I have ADHD and some years my mom can't afford the medication and kids try to avoid me, think I'm weird, and call me names. This year I am on my medication and some days I forget to take my medication. On those days I am surprisingly good on those because I know I forgot so I am worried that I will get annoying and people will despise me. I still get jittery hands and talk a lot, but I am on task, and not bothering people.

Another thing that makes it difficult to have self confidence is that I'm in the upper grades. I'm starting middle school next year and it's really scary for me. It's hard to remain who I am as well, because I do not cuss, just an occasional "freaking" or "crap" and I don't gossip about people and it's hard being surrounded by an environment where almost all the kids are saying "fuck" and stuff like that. Yes, I know, I should stay away from them. But I do, at least try, I just don't want anybody to feel like a bad person. And my best friends that I've known for a couple years cuss (but not too bad) too and I can't avoid and I don't want to avoid them because they are like my sisters, and it would be awful to just part with them. Another thing is that they have troubles like I do and personal issues (but not ADHD) so I go to them for comfort and they come to me or another.

This year I asked my mom for a psychologist. I have been going up to have lunch on Wednesdays and Thursdays with Marci and her assistant Kari now since, maybe, mid-October. But I haven't gone very recently. I would always talk with them, just chat and stuff, but one day I realized I haven't gotten anywhere by talking about books and lip gloss. So I showed Kari one day a conversation in my American Girl book, The Feelings Book, (great book) which was the kind of talks I wanted to have. Kari said a counselor would ask me questions and talk to me the way it was in the book. The fake conversation was an adult talking to a kid and at the end the kid found out her real problem and stuff. So then she called my mom and said I wanted a counselor, and I got a new counselor whos name is Mr. G.

My talks every Thursday with Mr. G have been going well and he is helping me a lot. I tell him my problems and things that happen, and he asks me questions about them that make me think about things I didn't really think about before. He gave me a plush tennis ball to squeeze as well. (I call it my stress ball) He has also helped me with my anxiety after school. Like, it's ten at night, I'm super tired, and I still have to do some chores, homework, and maybe other stuff because I was having too much fun on the computer, playing with friends, or I just simply put it off. So we formed a schedule of what I usually do and made a new, improved schedule. This is my second day of following that schedule. It has really helped with stress.

So, if you have problems, ADHD, or if you're completely normal, I will be there for you. (Obviously not literally if you live across the country or something) I appreciate kind compliments, comments, or advice. Thank you for reading.

~Peace out~

-Andie