The Fear You Won't Fall
Rating:
PG-13
Pairings:
Derek/Meredith, Mark/Izzie, Alex/Addison, George/Callie,
Burke/Cristina…mainly Derek/Meredith
Summary:
Five years post-prom, Derek Shepherd is raising his kids with the
help of his friends, but he's still missing someone, whether he
likes to admit it or not. When Meredith Grey returns, it's going
to change everyone's lives forever. AU
Disclaimer:
I don't own Grey's Anatomy. It's a shame.
A/N:
I've had this idea for awhile, and I decided to go with it. I'll
update Three, Crash, and Where Do We Go From Here
as soon as possible…probably WDWGFH, then Three, then Crash. Read.
Love. Review.
--
Chapter 1 - Over My Head
Isobel Stevens rubs her eyes wearily as she tucks Jack into bed. The little boy barely stirs, and she knows that he hasn't had nearly enough attention the past several days. Quietly, Izzie kisses him on the forehead and then leaves the room, closing the door behind her.
As she walks past Anna's room, her eyes meet Derek's, and she stops. Anna looks up as Izzie enters the room and smiles, in spite of the pain that she's obviously in.
"Aunt Izzie?" Izzie feels her heart melting as Anna struggles to sit up more. Derek immediately jumps up from his spot in the chair beside her bed and helps adjust the pillows around Anna's leg.
"Yeah, baby? Do you want me to get you some more medicine?" Anna shakes her head and motions for Izzie to come closer.
"Can Daddy leave for a little bit?" Izzie smiles and nods, glancing up at Derek. He looks as physically and mentally exhausted as she feels, but she sees his hesitation.
"It's okay. You need to rest. Mark's coming over after his shift. He'll stay up with me," Izzie says reassuringly.
Derek stares at her for a moment, feeling guilty, but at the mention of his best friend, Derek caves. Although Mark, Addison, Callie, George, Burke, and even Cristina have been helping out, he and Izzie have been sleeping for a half hour here and there for nearly ten days. He knows Mark will make Izzie rest, so he nods.
"I'm going to go take a nap, sweetheart," Derek says, kissing Anna. "I love you, Anna Banana."
"I love you, Daddy." Derek smiles as he trudges out of the room. Izzie watches him go and then closes the door before sitting down beside Anna.
"Are you comfortable?" Anna nods and reaches for Izzie's hand. Tears begin to fill her blue eyes, and Izzie feels tears start to fill her own eyes.
"Don't cry, Aunt Izzie. I'm okay," Anna says. She offers a Kleenex to Izzie and pulls her teddy bear up beside her.
"I know, baby. I know." Izzie smiles through her tears as Anna carefully props her bear, George, up with his bear-sized pillow underneath his own cast.
She loves Anna and Jack as if they were her own. Even though she and Mark have been together for five years, she hasn't moved out of Meredith's house because of Anna and Jack. She knows that the tight knit family that she, Derek, Mark, Callie, George, Cristina, Burke, and Addison have formed is the result of raising Anna and Jack. It's an unconventional family, but a family all the same.
"Aunt Izzie, can Aunt Addie and Uncle George stay with me tomorrow? You and Daddy need sleep," Anna says firmly. Izzie wipes tears from her eyes as she comes to an all too familiar realization that Anna is growing up too fast.
"I'll sleep when Uncle Mark gets here, Anna Banana." Anna's eyes brighten at that, and Izzie realizes that Mark has just entered the room.
"Hey there, Anna. How is George?" Anna considers this question with such a serious expression, Izzie has to bite her lip to keep from laughing.
"He's okay. His leg didn't hurt as much today," she says, nodding. "But I think maybe you should make him drink more fluids. He might get dehydrated." Izzie smiles. Growing up around doctors, Anna has become a self-proclaimed expert on medicine.
"Okay, Dr. Shepherd. We'll take care of that. How 'bout you tell Aunt Izzie good night?" Anna wraps her arms around Izzie's neck while keeping a close eye on George.
"Night, Aunt Izzie." Anna pauses and then looks up at Mark. "She needs sleep," Anna declares. Mark grins, but concern fills his eyes as Izzie gets up.
"Iz, listen to the doctor." Izzie laughs and nods, hugging Mark before exiting the room. As she makes her way toward her bedroom, she stops at the stairs and goes down to the kitchen instead.
Taking the phone in her hand, she pulls a phone number out of her pocket and stares at the number. She briefly wonders whether she should call, but when she remembers Anna telling her that she and Derek needed sleep, she dials the number without hesitation.
"Hello?" Izzie almost wants to hang up when she hears Meredith's voice, but she doesn't. She's calling for Anna, not her. It's time for Meredith to face the responsibility that she unceremoniously dumped on Derek and the others. "Hello?"
"Meredith, it's me, Izzie." Meredith Grey almost drops her phone. She hasn't talked to Izzie for almost five years, so whatever it is must be important. "Meredith, you need to come home."
Stunned, Meredith tries to form a coherent sentence. She's talked to Derek recently about coming back, but nothing was set in stone. She still trembles at the thought of assuming the responsibility that would accompany her return.
"What? Why? What for?" Going back means facing her friends. Going back means facing Derek and their children, and she's not sure she can do that.
"What
for? Seriously? Derek needs you. Anna and Jack need you. Anna had
major surgery last week! Derek hasn't slept in days, Anna needs
round-the-clock care, and I don't remember the last time that I sat
down with Jack. I know you had to go find yourself or whatever,"
Izzie spits out, using a phrase from one of Meredith's letters,
"but you better look in a damn mirror and then get on the next
plane to Seattle. Mark already booked a ticket. FedEx will drop it
off within an hour. He'll meet you at the airport." With that,
Izzie slams down the phone, not even waiting for a response. She
thinks it was the right thing to do, but she's not about to expect
Meredith to show up.
--
Meredith
Grey hoists her bag onto her shoulder and turns to the man beside
her, a man whom she has come to call her best friend. She smiles
wistfully.
"So this is it," he says, tugging on Meredith's hair with a sad smile. He knows that she's ready, even if she doesn't. He understands why she ran, and that's why he hasn't pushed her to return, but he knows it's time.
"This is it. I'm going to miss you." He stares at her, wondering if that means what he thinks it does. She nods. "I don't think I'm coming back here. I owe it… I owe it to them to stay. I was so scared then. I mean, I am now, but… her call just made me realize that it's still home. And I need to be there. It's been long enough." He feels something that resembles pride fill him as Meredith starts to walk toward the boarding counter. They've both made their mistakes over the years – he thinks that's why they're friends – but he thinks she can fix this one.
"I'm going home. You should too," she says. He shifts and momentarily wonders if there's enough room in the family for both of them to return.
"Is it still home?" Meredith takes a deep breath. "I think… I hope it is," she whispers. "I burned a lot of bridges." He stares at Meredith for a few seconds before he speaks.
"Give
me a week to sort things out, and I'll be back," he says
definitively, a smirk filling his face. Meredith feels herself
grinning in spite of everything. "Thanks, Alex."
--
Derek
Shepherd sighs as he collapses on his bed. He hasn't slept in
days, but guilt washes over him as he realizes how much the others
have sacrificed for his children. Still, he knows that he couldn't
do this without them, even if the one person that he wanted to do
this with is thousands of miles away.
Mark enters the room without knocking, knowing that Derek would still be awake. Derek glances up at his friend and mutters a greeting.
"Why? I don't know what I'm doing," Derek whispers as tears roll out of his eyes. "Why did she leave?" Mark walks over and pulls Derek into a bone-crushing hug.
"Buddy, you're doing fine. It's okay." Derek continues to sob silently as Mark decides to tell him where he's going. "George just got here. He's sitting with Anna. Derek… I'm going to the airport to pick her up."
Derek
nods and wipes his eyes. He knew it was only a matter of time before
one of the others asked her to come back, and as much as he hates to
admit it, he needs her to come back now.
--
Mark
Sloan stands in the baggage area, looking around for Meredith. He
considers sitting down, but on second thought, he doesn't want to
risk falling asleep.
He never pictured himself as a steady boyfriend or a doting uncle, but the arrival of Jack and Anna changed that. It changed them all, and he wishes Derek wouldn't be so hard on himself.
"Mark?" He turns and pushes back a million spiteful things that he could say about the situation.
"Welcome
home."
--
A/N:
I'm sure you all have a lot of questions – expect some of those
to be answered in the next chapter. Essentially, Meredith got
pregnant with twins, gave birth, and ran. Now Derek is raising those
kids with the help of everyone. He needs Meredith, but she has a lot
of ground to make up. Reviews are love.
