A/N: This is a gift for Silver Lioness who asked for a funny, fluffy, smutty Snamione. I think I hit one of the three… Also, not beta'd. And rated M for a reason.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.


Severus Snape stormed through the door of his apothecary on a blustery fall day. Thankful that his shop assistant was competent enough to mind the till alone. Severus had been through seven shop assistants until he found one with such capabilities. The general public was littered with dunderheads, and now that Severus was no longer trapped at Hogwarts, he endeavored never to be around dunderheads if he could help it. It was most of the reason behind locating his apothecary at the entrance of Knockturn Alley instead of Diagon Alley proper. That and his brisk trade in slightly legally grey ingredients. He had a strict no ask policy when a customer came through looking for something most apothecaries didn't carry.

The bell on the door rang jauntily as he closed it behind him. He stalked through the aisleways on his way to the backroom when he came upon a sight no red-blooded man would be able to ignore. A woman, with a deliciously round backside, was bent over at the waist, digging for something on the bottom shelf. Mugwort, most likely, as that was where it was kept. Her feet were encased in shiny, black stilettos and braced hip-width apart, as she bent over to retrieve her items. Severus felt his breath pull up short at the way her matching black pencil skirt rode up her thighs, exposing a long, creamy swath of skin that begged for Severus to run his tongue along.

Feeling a tightening in his groin, Severus adjusted himself subtly as the woman came to standing, rolling her body up and clutching a fistful of Mugwort.

"Ah-ha," she muttered as she straightened her skirt and strode away from him. The swaying of her bottom was intoxicating. Severus trailed his eyes further up her body to find a tucked in waist and long, curly brown hair, halfway down her back. He had no idea who this nymph was, but suddenly he wanted to know her. He wanted to know the way her curves felt beneath his hands, the way her tight cunny would grip his cock as he plowed her from behind. He wanted her in a way he hadn't wanted a woman in years.

She disappeared from view as she rounded the corner at the end of the aisle and Severus hurried to follow after her.

"... heard you could supply Venomous Tentacula seeds," the woman was asking his shop assistant, Alfred.

"Well, that's true, but usually we ask that customers deal directly with the owner for those sorts of requests," Alfred said giving her the line he was taught. Severus wanted to know exactly what was going on in his shop.

"Oh, dear," the woman lamented. Neither she nor Alfred had seen him yet. He was about to step forward when she spoke again. "See, the thing is, I don't think the owner would be inclined to see me. And I was so hoping I could be in and out before he even knew I was here," she laughed lightly and leaned forward on the countertop. Severus watched as Alfred's eyes darted down, toward the woman's chest. His own heart sped up and his eyes narrowed. Clearly, she was up to no good if she was attempting to seduce poor Alfred.

"Well… it's just I don't…"

"Do you not know where he keeps such items, perhaps?" the woman asked.

"Oh, no. Of course, I do," Alfred told her, puffing out his chest. Severus wanted to roll his eyes, men all acted the same when it came to a pretty woman flattering them. He ignored the thought that he wouldn't mind if the woman was flattering him that way.

"Of course you do, dear," she patted Alfred's hand. Alfred's eyes darted down when she didn't remove it. Severus couldn't see her other hand, but judging by the look on Alfred's face, she had done something to enhance Alfred's view of her cleavage.

Severus considered interrupting, but he deemed this a good test for Alfred. If Alfred could hold his own against such a battle than he would be worth keeping around.

"It's just, I've been forbidden to sell to customers without them first speaking with the owner," Alfred lamented, not taking his eyes off the woman's chest.

"I see," the woman responded, standing up straight. "Well, in that case, I'll just have to take my business elsewhere."

That was Severus' cue. He stepped forward from the shadow where he was hiding and Alfred spotted him immediately above the woman's head.

"Oh, no need miss! The owner is here now," Alfred smiled at her encouragingly.

"Blast it," the woman muttered and Severus felt his eyes narrow further. Who was this woman who needed something so illegal, and yet seemingly didn't want to deal with him?

She tossed the periwinkle cloak she had draped over one arm around her shoulders, drawing the hood up and turned, with her head down, trying to move past him.

Severus snaked out an arm and grabbed her wrist before she could, "Not so fast," he said silkily.

"Unhand me," the woman demanded, keeping her face pointed toward the floor.

"Not until you tell me who you are," Severus responded, pulling on her wrist until she was standing before him.

"It's no matter. I will do my business elsewhere," the woman said through clenched teeth.

Severus reached out his other hand and pushed the hood back. The woman still wouldn't look at him, so he grasped her chin and tilted her head back. She looked familiar, but he couldn't quite place her.

"Professor," the woman ground out.

"Miss Granger," Severus responded and dropped both her wrist and her chin as if she'd burned him. He had been lusting after a former student. Although, she was a long way from girlhood with the curves she had shown off today.

"Excuse me," Granger tried to go around him.

"What do you need the Venomous Tentacula seeds for?" Severus asked, unable to stop his curiosity.

"I was told you didn't ask questions," Granger replied.

Severus narrowed his gaze at her, she was right. He didn't normally ask questions.

"Alfred, I think it's time for your lunch break," Severus responded. "Please close up the shop." He didn't take his eyes off Granger the entire time.

"It's fine if you won't sell to me, Professor. There are others who will," Granger insisted, trying to go around him again.

"Don't be so hasty," Severus drawled. "I'll sell to you. For a price."

Something in his voice must have given him away because when she met his gaze again, she appeared contemplative.

Alfred left the shop with the doorbell tinkling merrily and a scrape of a key in the lock. Granger unclasped her periwinkle cloak, pulling it from her shoulders and Severus got an eyeful of what she had been trying to bribe Alfred with.

"What price?" she asked, her voice had dropped to a husky tone.

"What do you think would be fair?" Severus asked as he took a step toward her. She took a step back, keeping a small distance between them. The air of the shop suddenly felt close and Granger darted her tongue out to wet her lower lip.

"I'm sure we can think of some arrangement," Granger replied. She dropped her cloak and took another step back. A quick flick of her wrist and her dress unbuttoned further, showing the top of her bra. It was green. Slytherin green. Severus' eyes narrowed further as he wondered just how planned out Granger's appearance today was. Severus followed her as she stepped slowly back until she was trapped between the counter and him. He was hard and he hadn't even touched her yet.

She remedied that by placing a hand on the center of his chest, fiddling with the buttons of his frock coat, she looked up at him through her lashes.

"What sort of payment would you be requiring?" she asked as she slid her hand down his chest, meandering her way south. Severus' belly tightened as her hand brushed past it toward his trousers.

"I have some ideas," he said finally as she began tracing the outline of his cock with her fingers. He clenched his fist to keep from pulling her to him, even though he desperately wanted to bury his hands in her hair as he crushed her body to his.

Without warning, she dropped to her knees and began working on the placket of his trousers.

"Miss Granger!" Severus half-shouted as she worked him free.

"Hmmm?" she hummed. The hum turned appreciative when she found what she was looking for. Severus gripped the counter with both hands as she leaned forward to kiss the head of his cock. Her lips were petal soft, but her tongue was burning hot as she flicked it out to taste him.

"Merlin," he breathed as she engulfed the head of his cock in her hot mouth. She hummed and he was ready to shoot his load right then and there. Where did she pick up this skill? Granger ran one hand up the front of his thigh, resting it there. It was hot through his trousers and she wrapped her other hand around the rest of his cock, pumping him in time with the swirls around his head.

"Fuck," he muttered when she hollowed her cheeks and sucked him as deep as she could.

Suddenly, she popped her mouth off him and looking down at her, she smirked. "Can I touch myself?" she asked.

"Sweet Circe, yes," he groaned. With another smirk, she took him in her mouth once more, the hand leaving his thigh to dip beneath her skirt. He watched her eyes flutter as her hand pleasured herself. Gods, that was erotic, he pulled both hands from the counter and dove them into her hair, guiding her head as she slid her hot mouth over his length.

He didn't want this to be the end, it couldn't be the end, not yet, so he pulled her from him and urged her to stand. Once she was on her feet, he pressed his lips to hers, tasting her for the first time. They met in a frantic kiss and he soon was gripping her waist, lifting her so she could sit on the counter behind them. She wrapped her legs around him, trapping his erection between them. That's when he discovered she wasn't wearing knickers, he could feel her slick folds as they slipped around his cock.

"Please," she begged as he pulled away from her and began kissing down her neck, intent on finding a nipple. Her own hands scrambled at his back, one burying itself in his hair as she tossed her head back, offering herself to his seeking kisses.

He found a nipple through her lace, green bra and greedily sucked it into his mouth. Her hips bucked into his and her legs tightened around his waist.

"I need you," she told him plaintively, as she clutched at him closer, attempting to rock her hips in just the right angle that would impale her on him.

"Why didn't you say so?" Severus muttered, he pulled away just long enough to align himself properly and sank into her tight, wet heat.

"Good Merlin above," she swore as he stretched her.

He grunted his own approval and dropped his head to her shoulder, planting small kisses on her skin as she rocked her hips into his.

"Come on, move, dammit," she whined and he obliged her by grasping her hips tightly and pulling him to her, sinking further into her sweet cunt. He pressed a hand to her chest, pushing her to lie down flat on the counter. She raised her arms over her head and gripped the counter behind her as he began pounding into her.

"Fuck, yes, don't stop. Severus," she shrieked, and in response, Severus raised her left leg and placed it on his left shoulder, her pussy became impossibly tight in this new position and she keened, arching her back into him and holding onto the counter for dear life.

Severus' assault did not stop, although he could feel his balls drawing up, tightening. He slipped his left hand between her pressed together thighs and found her clit. A few swipes and she was clenching and crying out her orgasm over him. He tried to hold back, wanted to hold back, to take her another way, but he couldn't and soon after she fell boneless to the countertop, he grunted through his own climax, finally stilling inside her.

She moved her left leg from his shoulder, so he stood between her legs once more as he dropped his had to her abdomen, pressing soft kisses until he became soft enough to fall out of her glorious cunt.

"Merlin," she breathed.

"Indeed."

He took a deep breath and raised his head, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to a sitting position.

"Next time, leave Alfred out of it, Hermione," he told her, stealing a kiss.

She giggled lightly, "Poor Alfred, I hadn't expected him to be here."

"No, and he doesn't know about you. Hopefully, I can get the stench of sex out of here before he comes back from his lunch break."

"I'm sure you'll manage," Hermione smirked at him, as she began adjusting her clothes. "I have to get back to the Ministry anyway."

"With no knickers?" Severus asked.

"I haven't been wearing any all day. Why would I start now?" she asked saucily. "Besides, how will you be able to assault me the moment I walk through the door tonight if I have knickers in the way."

"Minx," he growled, nipping at her neck. Just then, they heard the rattle of the door handle, and the jingle of the bell. Biting her lip, and smoothing her hair the best she could. Hermione pushed Severus from her so she could get off the counter and wrapped her cloak around her once more.

"See you tonight," she gave him a small secret grin and swept from the store.

As much as Severus wanted to curtail his wife's love of games when she came up with ones like today, how was he to stop her? It had been just as fun for him as it had been for her. He tapped his lip with his finger as an idea began to form in his mind of retribution.


365 Prompt Challenge: 62. Colour - Periwinkle

Insane House Challenge: 995. Genre - Romance