Author's Note: So. This was a request from BlueFairy10, to whom I sincerely apologize for the delay. I got wrapped up in other stuff and...well...I sort of forgot about this. XD I'm not really a Cana/Laxus shipper, so I hope I did an okay job...either way, here you are! :D

I don't own Fairy Tail or anything affiliated with it. Hiro Mashima does.


To Swim in a Bottle
by: SmurfLuvsCookies
Dedicated to a very patient BlueFairy10 :)

He knew this wasn't going to end well.

It was rare that Makarov left his guild unattended. There was really only one thing that could tear him from supervising his rowdy children in the guild hall for more than a couple of hours: a summoning for a meeting.

Makarov hated these meetings, but they were mandatory. He had no other choice but to leave his guild unattended for days at a time. It wasn't necessarily that he was afraid for his children; he knew they were perfectly capable of taking care of themselves.

No, if anything, he was afraid of his children.

They could get so reckless and destructive. Makarov didn't believe in taming or breaking them in order to rear their power, but management wasn't negotiable. If left unchecked, there was no doubt that they would demolish some national landmark or another and be faced with the consequences. Unless, of course, he established a leader to keep things in order while he was away.

Usually it was Mirajane or Erza. Someone the guild loved and feared. But today neither of those women were available: Erza was on a mission, and Mirajane had taken the day off to visit her parents' graves with Lisanna and Elfman. Makarov had no way to get in contact with Erza, and he refused to demand that Mirajane stay when she had such a reason for leaving.

He could only think of one other person.

It was risky, he knew, but he genuinely felt that Laxus had changed during his time away. He had been reborn into the guild, and although his cocky attitude wasn't entirely reformed, Makarov trusted his grandson enough to watch over the guild for a day and not go all dictator like the Fantasia Parade fiasco.

So that morning he strode over to Laxus and his Rajinshuu and asked if he wouldn't mind watching over the guild while he was away.

The Rajinshuu all looked absolutely thrilled, but Laxus's reaction was somewhat surprising.

"You...want me to do it?" he said uncertainly. "What about Erza?"

"Away on a mission."

"Mirajane?"

"Away."

"Macao?"

"Away with Romeo on a mission."

Laxus seemed stumped, which stumped Makarov. The past Laxus would have jumped at the occasion. Hell, he'd probably ask why Makarov didn't just hand the guild over to him permanently.

"Come on, Laxus, you know you're the only person left for the job," Fried encouraged. Laxus's nakama seemed equally startled by his unenthusiastic reaction. "Besides, it's only for a day."

"Okay," Laxus agreed. "I'll do it."

"It's not too difficult. Just make sure that they don't break anything," said Makarov with an air of negligence, but inside he was beaming with pride. Laxus, focusing on the responsibility of a task and not its power? He had grown more during his exile than Makarov had realized. The old man felt at ease, now, about placing the guild in his grandson's hands.

Well, as at ease as he could feel about placing his guild in anyone else's hands but his own.


After the old man left, Laxus was staggeringly nervous.

How was he supposed to run the guild for a day? Makarov hadn't left much in the way of instructions. Just make sure that they don't break anything. That was a miracle in itself!

At least Natsu and his rambunctious bunch weren't there. One problem solved. But there were still plenty of other troublemakers roaming around. That Black Steel Gajeel, for one. And Max was excitable once he was in his cups. Not to mention Cana, who he'd been watching steadily tip back barrel after barrel of ale. She was like a freaking sponge.

"Well this is a nice change of pace, isn't it?" Evergreen remarked, leering at the crowd with her sharp eyes. "No one to order you around for once. It's about time that old geezer put you in charge."

"It's only temporary, Ever," Laxus pointed out.

"For now," she shot back. "You never know. Maybe he's preparing you for a bigger announcement."

"Doubt it."

"I agree with Evergreen," Fried put in. "It's almost like a legacy."

"Mastership of the guild isn't about bloodline," Laxus sighed. "You get appointed to the job based on...I don't even know. Besides, I don't think anyone would take it well if the old man announced I was next in line. I was in exile for a reason."

"Exile, smexile," Bixlow snorted, his babies following this up with a chorus of babbling.

Laxus gave them a look that clearly indicated they drop the subject. This was as valid an argument as 'exile, smexile,' so they obliged.

Laxus sat in that spot and watched the guildmembers for the entire day. More like he fretted over them the entire day. Anyone who didn't know him well wouldn't be able to tell, but the Raijinshuu could sense when he was jumpy. And boy, was he jumpy today.

He nearly freaked out when a brawl occurred after lunch, but it settled down with minimal damage (only two broken stools that Laki helpfully repaired). Later, Laki complained that there was no more ale since Cana had consumed it all, and a riot almost broke out. Luckily, they found more barrels in a dark corner of the basement, and a crisis was once again averted.

It was late in the evening when people slowly began thinning out in groups of twos and threes. Eventually it was only him, the Raijinshuu, Cana, and Laki left. It was close to midnight.

"You guys head out," he told his three companions, who had kept watch with him the entire day and were nearly asleep at their posts.

"A-aren't you coming with us?" Fried inquired over a yawn.

"No, I'm gonna make sure that these two get home alright," he said, jerking a thumb at Laki and Cana. Laki was trying to convince the latter that it was time to go home, but the card mage was so intoxicated she could barely stand. The mountain of barrels said it had been a day of heavy drinking, even for Cana.

Evergreen rubbed sleep out of her eyes, tilting her glasses perilously in the process. "We'll wait for you, it's no problem."

"Go home. That's an order," said Laxus, rolling his eyes at their stubbornness.

"Bossy much?" Bixlow had the gall to remark, but he accompanied it with a wide grin that could probably get him out of any sticky situation and stood up. "Alright, you heard the man. Let's go."

His babies chirped, "Up, up, up!" and "You heard the man!" and "Let's go!"

As the Raijinshuu stumbled out of the guild hall, Laxus turned to the arguing women. Cana was belligerently thrashing her arms around, demanding that she continue to receive alcohol, and Laki was still trying to tell her that the guild was closed (and out of ale, for that matter).

"No! Mira tries this on me all th' time, an' I know your tricks! You...you're tricky! So gimme sum'ore!"

"Cana, everyone else departed for their residencies hours ago! Please, just - "

"Don't confuse me with big words! There're still people here." Cana wheeled around, swaying dangerously, and looked around until her foggy dark eyes landed on Laxus. She grinned and pointed at him triumphantly. "See? What'd I tell ya?"

Laki sighed as Cana did a graceless victory jig and crawled over the bar to search for the alcohol she was convinced Laki had hidden from her. The wood mage turned helplessly to Laxus. "I have no idea how to proceed, sir."

"Just go home, I'll deal with her," Laxus said.

"Are you positive? She is being extremely uncooperative."

"Yeah, yeah, I told Gramps that I'd get everybody home, so I guess I'd better handle her," Laxus reassured. Makarov hadn't exactly put everyone's safety into his jurisdiction, but he assumed that it was implied. "I've seen her like this before, anyway. You won't be able to talk her into coming with you. You've gotta muscle her into it."

Laki look scandalized. "B-but...well, how will you enter Fairy Hills with her? Surely the enchantments will sense her duress and bar you from the property?"

"We're not going to Fairy Hills," Laxus said bluntly. "I was planing to bring her home with me."

If Laki wasn't scandalized before, she certainly was now. "But you cannot! Cana is under the influence of a substance that lowers her inhabitation, so - "

"You're afraid I'm going to take advantage of her?"

"N-negatory, sir! Well, I mean, I'm just trying to say - "

"Even if you can get her to Fairy Hills, she won't stay in her apartment," Laxus said. "She'll need someone to watch over her, and you're the only one awake. But you look like you're about to collapse. Go home, and don't worry about it. I'll take care of it." They both looked over at Cana, who had crawled under the bar and was calling out loud for the alcohol like it was a lost puppy.

Laki sighed in defeat. "Well, alright. But if I hear any hinky business on the morrow, I will amputate all your limbs from your body, Laxus Dreyar. All of them."

Laxus smirked and nodded his head in affirmation, enduring one last glare and cautionary wagging finger before Laki disembarked to Fairy Hills. He doubted that Laki would be his biggest problem if he took advantage of Cana, but he knew that her threat was a sincere one.

Wasn't she shy and weak once? he thought to himself. What happened while I was gone? Although he was the one being threatened, he was a bit pleased that Fairy Tail had developed a bit more of a backbone.

Speaking of backbone...

"Oi!" Cana hit him on the back of the head with something cold and hard. Laxus turned, glaring, and blinked in surprised when he saw that Cana had managed to scrape up two beers in dusty glass bottles. He was even more astonished that she was willing to spare one. "Want it?"

Laxus took a moment to process her state. She had crawled up on the bar again and was leaning haphazardly in order to offer him the beverage, her back arched in an interesting way, completely unaware of the amount of cleavage she was exposing to him. Or perhaps she was aware and just didn't give a damn. Her air was in disheveled waves, her eyes bloodshot and muddled with intoxication.

Well, he thought, she can't get much worse than she is now. If she hasn't keeled over with alcohol poisoning yet, she isn't going to. Hopefully she'll pass out or something and I can just carry her unconscious. So he accepted the beer and sat down on a stool next to her. Cana seemed pleased that he wasn't going to try to drag her home. She sat up, unfolded her legs, and planted her bottom flat on the bar in one smooth movement, opening the beer with expertise. Then she chugged it back, downing a third of it in one swallow.

This won't take long, Laxus thought to himself, opening his own beer. Perhaps he should've been worried that he was keeping an internal commentary.

Cana sighed and leaned back on her hands, swinging her feet as she wordlessly looked around the guild hall. "Y'know," she began, "this place's really strange when there's nobody here. It's...bigger."

"Probably because there aren't so many bodies taking up the space."

"Or personalities," Cana added. She was awfully philosophical for a drunk person. Her feet stopped swinging and came to rest on the stool in front of her. Cana had very nice, toned, tan legs, especially for someone who did so much sitting and drinking. She noticed him looking and gave him a sardonic grin, wiggling her toes in her sandals. "Like whatcha see, hm, Sparky?"

Laxus scowled. "Don't call me that."

"Y'didn't used ta mind."

"Yeah, I did. Nobody listened 'cause I was too little for you guys to take seriously." Laxus shrugged and took a drink. "Eventually I just gave in."

"Really?" Cana blinked.

"Well, not so much you. It was mostly Mirajane and Erza. You didn't hang out with the rest of us much, remember? You were always hovering around Macao and Wakaba."

Cana looked down at her feet, hiding her face behind her long brown hair. "Yeah. Right."

Alarms went off in Laxus's head. If he was any sort of decent gentleman he would ask what was wrong, but that was one conversation he didn't want to have with anyone, particularly not Cana Alberona. Cana was a good female friend to have because she didn't really get emotional. She was tough, tougher in some ways than even Erza. The Titania could send most men away with their tails between their legs in a fight, but when it came to the personal stuff she was as fragile and undeveloped as a fifth grader. Cana was champion in that department as far as anyone was concerned. Sometimes it seemed like she was full of more testosterone than some of the men. If it weren't for her beauty, she might've been confused with a guy.

Of course, Laxus had enough sense not to say that.

Her sudden vulnerability threw Laxus off-guard. But not so much that he was willing to get suckered into a pity party with waterworks and ice cream. He set down his half-empty beer and stood. "Looks like you're finished. Ready to go?"

"I'm not finished," Cana objected, holding up her empty bottle. She noticed it was empty and scowled at it as though it had committed a capital offense (although being without alcohol was probably a capital offense in her book), and crossed her arms. "Not finished," she repeated. "I'm not goin' home."

"Look, I'm tired, so can we just get a move on? You know you're coming with me, one way or another, and I'd rather not have to manhandle you."

Cana gave him another smarmy smirk and raised an eyebrow. "Manhandlin', hm? Didn't realize you were so kinky."

"I'm going to count to three."

"I'm not a little kid, Laxus."

"You sure are acting like it. One."

"You can try, but this'sn't gonna work."

"Wanna bet? Two."

"Bite me."

"Three." Laxus swooped down and secured Cana's hands faster than she could've guessed, pressing on her wrists until she reluctantly released the cards she'd gathered. Then he pinned her arms to her sides, took her purse with the rest of her cards, and threw her over his shoulder.

"LAXUS!" she roared. "Put me down! And pick up my damn cards! Those're valuable, dammit!"

"I'll get them in the morning. No one will steal them."

"Lemme go!"

Laxus didn't even grace that with an answer. He continued to stroll down the street with her in tow. There was no one else walking at this late hour; even if Cana did scream rape (which she threatened to do multiple times) no one would be there to hear her. It was a rather disturbing and sobering notion.

Eventually she lapsed into silent compliance, hanging limply from his shoulder. He almost thought that she'd gone to sleep when she remarked, "Y'know, you can really work a man purse."

Laxus glanced at the feathery thing suspended from a strap on his shoulder, presumably where Cana kept her collection of magic cards. "Don't be intimidated," he said. "No one's here to see me wear it better than you."

"Well, what d'you know? Tall, yellow, and scarred has sense of humor after all." To his surprise, she actually chuckled. He could feel it in the reverberations of her stomach, although it was too low to hear.

Laxus rolled his eyes but, again, didn't bother to respond. Instead, he asked a genuinely curious question. "So, Cana, why'd you decide to get so wasted tonight?"

"What're you talking 'bout? I get wasted every day."

"Yeah, but not this wasted."

Cana wiggled on his shoulder uncomfortably. He could sense rather than see the scowl on her face. "None'f your beeswax."

"And you wonder why I treat you like a little kid."

There was a pause. Then:

"Laxus, put me down."

She said it so sternly and coherently that Laxus skidded to a halt and actually complied, placing her on the ground in front of him. He nearly leapt out of his boots when he realized that she was fighting back tears.

"What the hell?" he blurted out.

Suddenly, there was a sharp pain in his face and his head snapped to the side. He blinked and gingerly pressed his fingers against his cheek, which was hot and stinging. Cana let out harsh, heavy breaths of rage as she curled her fingers back into a fist.

"I am not a child," she snarled. "And I refuse to continue to let anybody, especially not the likes of you, treat me like one."

With that, she turned on her heel and began storming off in a direction that led neither to Laxus's apartment nor to Fairy Hills. Laxus gawked after her, still stunned. He pressed his hand against the place where she'd hit him and scowled after her.

"Hey!" he shouted. "You don't just get to slap me across the face and run away!"

"Watch me!"

Laxus practically growled with annoyance and summoned a bolt of electricty. It shot up from the ground directly in front of Cana. She came to a quick stop, the hair on the back of her neck standing on end with the close proximity of the lightning.

Slowly, she turned around to gape at him.

"Did you...did you just try to electrocute me?!"

"No, I was trying to get your attention!" Laxus snapped. "It worked, didn't it?"

"Go to hell, Laxus!"

"Dammit, listen to me! You're freaking unbelievable, you know that? You get all upset and slap me when I treat you like a kid, but then you start acting like one! How does that make any sense?"

Cana reeled. Then she tipped back her head and laughed bitterly. "Oh, you're one to talk! Who was it that nearly destroyed the guild because he wanted to make all the rules? You didn't get what you wanted, so you threw a temper tantrum. And now you have the balls to lecture me on acting like a child?!"

"That was a long time ago!" Laxus yelled. "The difference between you and me is that I used to be immature. You still are!"

"You know what? I don't need this from you right now!" Cana threw her hands up in the air and began walking away again. "You don't know the kind of day I've had. I'm not gonna take any crap from you today. I'm not up for it. Shock me all you want, I'm leaving."

"Oh, please," Laxus sneered. "Like Cana Alberona's life is so difficult. All you do is sit on your ass all day and drink booze. How hard can that possibly be?"

Cana froze again. She stood, trembling, fists at her sides. With a jolt, Laxus realized that she was sobbing. If he looked very carefully, he could see the sparkle of tears dripping from her face.

Shit. He hadn't meant for her to cry.

"Cana," he said, slowly walking over to her. "Sorry...I'm, ah, still working on that temper thing, as you can probably tell. I didn't mean to upset you. I just...I wanted to make sure you got home okay, that's it."

"I d-don't wanna go home," Cana wailed. The tears flowed unrestrained from her eyes, splashing on to the concrete. "There's nothing for me a-at home."

Laxus knew he was going to regret this. "Does this have something to do with today?"

"You don't care." Cana wiped her face with the back of her hand, still sniffing loudly. "Just leave me the hell alone."

"Look, I'm trying to be sympathetic here," Laxus said. "That doesn't happen very often, so why don't you get over yourself and tell me what's wrong? You never know; maybe I can help."

"It's not something you can fix, you idiot," Cana snapped.

"You don't know that until you tell me."

"What are you, my therapist?"

"All I know is that you aren't getting this back," Laxus said, holding up her purse, "until you tell me what your problem is."

Cana scowled, but she let out a sigh of defeat. "Fine. If you must know, nosy bastard, today is my anniversary."

"Anniversary?" Laxus repeated, shocked. He hadn't realized that Cana was dating anyone. In fact, he was pretty sure she wasn't. Surely Mirajane would've spread the news. "Anniversary of what?"

"You might not remember," Cana mumbled. "For a while, though, after Macao divorced his wife, we were together. We lasted for a really long time, you know."

"Yeah, I remember thinking that it was about time because you always hung out when we were kids. So what?"

"Well, I mean, we broke up. He moved on. I guess I didn't." Cana huffed again. "It was too good to be true. He has a thing for younger women; or he did, back when he was himself. Now being the master for those seven years changed him. He's gotten older in more ways than one, and today...I don't know. I had lived under the delusion that I was special even though he dumped me, and that if I waited long enough he would get tired of all those airheads and come back. But today it just sort of hit me that those hopes are gone."

Laxus didn't know what to think. So he didn't.

"You're an idiot," he said. Cana looked like she wanted to slap him again, so he quickly continued. "You're an idiot because you shouldn't be pining over some other idiot who doesn't deserve you. Macao should have never let a woman like you slip through his fingers. If he broke up with you, that's his problem. If he doesn't regret it, then he's an even bigger idiot than you are. You could probably have any man you wanted in Fiore, and it's stupid that you're doing this to yourself because of someone who didn't appreciate what he had."

Cana blinked at him. Her eyes were still shiny and bloodshot with tears. Or maybe alcohol. Laxus had no way of knowing.

Then she smiled, and it was like the sun breaking through the clouds after a particularly nasty thunderstorm.

"You're good with these pep talks," she remarked.

"I get a lot of practice," Laxus drawled, thinking of Evergreen's dramatic social life.

"I'm glad," Cana said. "That you got me to talk about it, I mean. I feel...better."

"Great." Laxus handed over her purse, confident she wasn't going to use any of the contents within. At least not on him. "Can we go home, now?"

Cana wasn't listening. She scooted closer too him, gazing at him with strangely vulnerable eyes. Her cheeks and nose were rosy, her eyelashes clumped together. Laxus jumped. He wasn't entirely sure whether he wanted to retreat or not.

"You said that I could have any man I wanted in Fiore?"

"Yeah..." Laxus gulped. He had a feeling he knew where this was going.

"Does that include you?"

Laxus wasn't entirely sure how to answer. He liked Cana, sure; she was definitely one of the more tolerable of the guildmembers. But did he really like her like that...?

She didn't give him time to answer her. With surprising iron strength she grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down, pressing their lips together. Her mouth was really soft, and move against his with as much expertise as her hands had in opening the beer. Once again, Laxus didn't do much thinking in such a delicate situation. Without hesitation he responded in kind, pulling her lean body against his. The exposed skin of her back was silky and warm under his fingers. His other hand bunched in her long wavy hair, tilting her face up.

Okay. So maybe he liked her more than he thought.

Suddenly she fell limp against him, dropping like a dead body. Laxus broke their kiss and caught her before she hit the ground. Well. She'd finally passed out from all the drinking. And just when things were starting to get interesting.

I guess I got what I wished for, Laxus thought bitterly, remembering his earlier hope that she would pass out and he could carry her without any fuss. He solemnly scooped her up in his arms, taking her back to his place.

When they arrive, he will lay her on the couch, cover her in a blanket, and leave a jug of water next to her. Then he will go to his own bed, where he will wake up the next morning, alone.

Before he leaves for the guild, he will leave her a note explaining what happened, but excluding their conversation and kiss. Around noon she will stumble in, looking worse for wear but demanding alcohol. She will come over and thank him for taking care of her, and she will buy him a drink as compensation. They crunching, aching pain in her heart will be a little less because she didn't have to wake up in an echoing, hollow apartment. She will wake up knowing someone cared enough to think about her. And her heart will begin to heal.

She won't remember the kiss.

Laxus will realize this, and he won't say anything. He won't even hint at it. Because he mused it over in his mind while he laid in his bed and she slept on his couch, and he decided that they would be perfect for each other, but that Cana wasn't ready for it. Only time could tell if she ever would be.

He will watch her drown herself in her secret sorrows, wishing he could dive in and save her, wishing he could throw her something to cling to, but knowing that it was better for her if he didn't.

Because sooner or later, everyone has to learn how to swim on their own.