Chapter One
"To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour."
It seemed as if the sky was waging war upon the ground: the clouds unfurling at a deathly rate, black and ominous as the piercing lightning struck blow after blow upon the dry cracked earth. Sheets of rain poured down, let loose from the heavens, washing away the grim and leaves that clung to my face; washing away the blood that seeped down my ribcage, bleeding into the mud like ink. I merely blinked. The pain I knew should have been racking my body into fits of hysteria was seemingly nonexistent; erased, as though it were merely a drawing, etched out and forgotten. My limbs had lost all feeling, missing the cool sensation of wet droplets on tired skin that I remembered so vividly. The skin on my face ate at the sensation, realized the nerves were reacting, that I was alive! Yet, my body had already accepted the inevitable. Tears slide down my bruised cheeks. Or was that the rain? I no longer knew.
I awoke gasping, sucking air into my lungs like a drowning victim. Dead. Dead. I was dead. I remembered; the cold touch, almost like a hand, gripping, pulling— was that my soul I felt torn from my body? I could feel the emptiness inside of me, the hallow center where something was missing. I could feel it bleeding in agony...Gods, what was happening to me?
I staggered to my feet, the sand uneven between my toes. I glanced around hurriedly, trembling under the weight of my dead limbs. Grey. That was all I saw. Grey. Grey. Where were the green hills, sprinkled with yellow flowers? The spruce trees, brimming with leaves? My legs could no longer hold the weight of my reality, and I crashed knees, sand cutting into my skin. Pain.
Alive. I was alive. But... the battle. I can still feel the bite of the sword as it sliced through my chest. I reached for it, desperate to find some hint of the wound, but found only cold barren skin, the aching emptiness still apparent.
"What is this madness...?"
There was no sun.
There was no color, no wind. There was no life. There was nothing.
Just sand and eternity.
I stared at the heavens for hours, pretending the grey mass that had eaten away my world were clouds. Just clouds. Pretending was all I could muster. I pretended I had the strength to walk, the courage to push on, to find a way out of this wasteland, to live. But, I was dead...wasn't I? So what was the point?
There was nothing.
Just sand and eternity.
I must have lain there for days. The aching emptiness that had festered in my chest had washed through my other limbs. I was as cold as death. The silence called to me—as still and immovable as my heart, entombed within my ribcage to beat no longer.
I had lost all hope that this was dream. That this was a temporary insanity, a cruel phantom. This was my life. And my death. This was my eternity. The cold ground welcomed me, forming inlets to fit my body, the sand clinging to my extremities.
I was a shadow of life, a shade. Able to feel pain, sorrow, defeat, but never the warmth of another. I was a captive here; a prisoner in a land of nothing. Did anyone deserve such a fate?
I was left alone to the memories here. And they ate at me, consuming my thoughts until I could think of nothing else, see nothing else.
So many dead. Oh gods, so many dead.
I quickly shut my eyes, effectively shutting out my demons...but I knew it was only for the moment. They had all of time. A hoarse cry escaped my lips. Was this to be my punishment? But for what! God Almighty, for what?
I screamed into the silence. Were my sins on earth so great that this, this was my price to pay? Alone for...
Footsteps distracted me from my thoughts.
Footsteps.
Surely those were footsteps I heard, like gunshots in the sand. Noise in the endless silence. Or was I just pretending?
They came closer, nearer and nearer to my sullen form.
I kept my eyes shut tightly, savoring the darkness, not wanting to shatter the illusion. I could almost feel the individual grains of sand moving under a weight...a person?
Finally the noise stopped, just behind my head, and silence fell once more. Was this another phantom? A figment? Was I still alone in this barren void? I held my breathe, hope brimming under my skin like a virus, sickly and weak, but still there.
"Are you alright?"
My breathe let out in one long hurried stream, and the hope expanded, bursting from my skin as it was enforced, as it was verified. Someone was here. Someone was here. Emotions, long unused, dusty and soot-bearing, uncurled in my stomach seeking an outlet. They washed through my limbs, like a stream, trickling at first until it grew larger, and larger—a river, a tidal wave— And my lips curled into a smile.
"Can you hear me?" A man. His tenor was like honey, dripping down into my ears, succulent and delicious.
"I—" My voice shook. I could scarcely think. Someone washere. "Yes."
"Why do you close your eyes?"
"Are you...is this real?" Was I not dead? Alive? Alive? Was it such an outrageous thought?
"Is that what you fear?...Open your eyes, little one, and see for yourself."
And the hope was back, crushing me, suffocating me with its need to see... And I did not fight it. My eyelids creaked open, as though I had not used them for years, and my irises were slowly revealed. Squinting, they fought against hours (weeks, months) of abandon, trying to discern something, anything, that would prove that yes, someone was here.
Finally, they focused.
And he was exquisite.
His hair the deepest ebony, like midnight's break across the heavens. His cheekbones as high as mountains, cutting through his skin. His lips were full, a feminine feature, but any such affect was sustained by his broad chin. His jaw was chiseled from the finest marble, stolen off an ancient Greek statue. But his eyes...they were flames, roaring across his face. The deepest red, like rubies in the night. And they bled into mine.
He was color.
Simply enough.
Color.
And I wept for joy.
"How did you come to be here, little one?"
"I...I don't know...I died...Surely, that is what happened." Sadness threatened to take hold at the thought, but joy held firm. Someone was here.
"I did not mean to give you cause to remember," he said, kneeling before me, his lips twitching in apology. "I merely wished to know how you made it to this plane. Did no one come to guide you?...Have you been lost, little one?"
I stared. Surprise apparent on my face. Yes. Yes. Yes. By the gods, I have been lost. Nothing but sand and grey. This godforsaken grey! To the ends of eternity...
"...Yes, I have been lost," I rasped, my voice heavy with emotion.
I slowly lifted my hand. It was heavy and limp from disuse, but I had to know...Even if this was a dream.
I hovered, my fingertips a hairsbreadth away from his cheek.
He glanced at my pale hand. It was trembling wildly, but still had yet to touch his skin. How I wanted to...to know! But, the fear of dispelling the illusion...
Understanding dawned, and he finally smiled, his eyes crinkling as the mirth spread across his face, flames roaring in delight. Pointedly staring at me, he nudged his cheek into my palm.
And I wept for joy.
a/n: The excerpt at the start of the chapter is from William Blake's Auguries of Innocence. If anyone thinks this story sounds familiar, it was, originally, posted under a different genre, but I lost all my creative juices with the characters. But then, along came this pairing, and voila, inspiration. I do have the next chapter basically written, but I'm quite a slow writer, so...bear with me.
