note: ah, this was inspired by Unkle Bob's 'Swans'. it's a good song, recommend you hear it.

. . .oh and i don't own any 'Naruto' characters or 'Unkle Bob' or their song 'Swans'. . .


By my side
You'll never be

Sasuke Uchiha was unlucky in every sense of the word when it came to love.

So, so unlucky, that it went pass horrifying to the point that it was laughable.

He could still remember the first time he had consciously said those three simple words. He was six and it had been to a tiny lima bean plant his kindergarten class had been assigned to watch grow. After he had sang it those words, he had forgotten his tender plant outside and had just returned to retrieve it when a big, black crow swooped down and snatched his beloved plant right in front of his innocent eyes.

He cried to his mother that night.

The next time he said those words was when he was nine and it had been to his puppy of fifteen months. Afterward, that puppy had escaped the safety of his family's backyard and was run over by a speeding truck. The dog died an agonizing death in front of the boy.

He cried to his mother for the whole week.

It was after that week when he said those words again, this time, to his mother as a thank you for comforting him. The woman replied with a smile and a hug. Coincidentally, his parents had taken a plane ride the following evening. After twenty-four hours of silence from their parents, the phone rang and the little boy answered in hopes that it was his mother. Instead it was the police saying that the plane that his parents had been on had malfunctioned and his parents were declared dead.

He was crushed when he heard the news and he cried to himself.

Now he was left alone in the world with just his older brother of fifteen. The next few years were rough for both of them. They journeyed from adoptive family to adoptive family, constantly causing problems when they refused to be separated. All the families wanted the cute little Sasuke but none wanted the older teen that came along with him. So instead of Sasuke leaving his older brother for a better chance of adoption, he stuck by Itachi, even when his brother insisted that he let himself be adopted.

They stayed at the orphanage until his older brother turned eighteen and was forced out with a twelve-year-old Sasuke following closely behind. It was a year later, when Itachi had returned from his third job exhausted that Sasuke had dared to utter those words again. Itachi's determination and wasted figure was what motivated him to say it. He was thirteen and it was the last time he said it. His older brother smiled just like his mother had done so long ago and returned those words to him.

That morning, Itachi didn't wake up.

It was then that his young mind finally made a connection. Every time he had said those words something died. From the beginning of his memories to the point where his older brother passed away, it had always happened after he allowed those three words to slip from his mouth. His dog, his parents and now his older brother.

Love had stolen them from him.

He was alone because of love.

And it was on Itachi's grave that he swore never to love again. He swore to never allow anyone near him, never allow someone to befriend him. He swore that instead of love, he would hate.

His heart would be dead from that day onward.


"Sasuke? Want to come eat lunch with me?"

It was that girl again.

He glanced at the girl that had spoken to him. Long pink hair, bright emerald green eyes, pale ivory skin and a smile that rivaled the sun.

Oh yes, he remembered her.

She had been silently watching, more like stalking, him ever since his third year of primary school. Back then he would politely refuse her as he did with every girl that asked him that same question, although on some rare occasions he humored her and ate his lunch silently sitting next to her. That was when his mother was still alive, when she had heard of a persistent 'admirer' and encouraged her little boy to 'befriend' the girl.

Now his mother was dead, his father was dead, his brother was dead, he was alone and he didn't give a fuck about some stupid fangirl.

"Don't talk to me," he growled in the coldest tone possible. He turned away from her to stare outside the window to the left of his desk.

"Please, Sasuke?" Dear lord, he could hear the desperation in her voice. It made him sick. "Like we used to when we were little?"

He clenched his fists. The girl had believed that she was special? Just because he spent fifteen minutes for a few days of the month with her years ago? She was ridiculous if she thought he held any positive feelings for her. He hated her, just like he hated everyone else, perhaps even more than everyone else.

He turned back to her slowly in time to catch her eyes light up with hope. Oh how he will enjoy crushing her spirit.

"You believe we were friends don't you?" He watched her pretty face slowly change as his words sunk in. "I never liked you and I will never like you." He felt his dead heart grow lighter with empty giddiness as her pain grew more evident. "I only pitied you because everyone hated your ugly forehead and your ugly pink hair. No one liked you." He watched those bright green eyes dim yet sparkle with unshed tears. His dead heart rejoiced. "And just like then no one likes you now." The first tear fell. "Because just like then," he hissed, "you are still the same, stupid, insecure, people-pleasing doormat that can't like herself unless everyone else does first." Her tears began to form two rivers down her red cheeks. "But you know what? Unlike then, I don't pity you, instead," he paused as he basked in the glory of her emotional pain, "I hate you."

He watched with satisfaction how her face twisted with hurt, cheeks puffed red and lips quivering. Her eyes were pouring tears and her body trembled. He enjoyed every second of it, especially when the whole class turned to watch the exchange. Any normal girl would dislike, even hate him, after all the humiliation he put her through but Sakura was no normal girl.

"But-" she choked on her own spit, "but, Sasuke, I- I- I love you."

Those words made rage boil in his blood. This girl had the atrocity to love him!

"How many times will I have to tell you, I hate you. Don't talk to me, don't even look at me." He sent his most terrifying glare at her, and was pleased when she took a step back. "You disgust me."

Her eyes widened and she simply stood in front of him, frozen as if time had stopped moving.

He ignored her presence and went back to staring out the window, the joy of causing her pain quickly losing its appeal. He was vaguely aware of when she retreated to her own seat to cry out her grief at his refusal.

The entire class was glaring at him with distaste. They didn't like him, but he didn't give a fuck.

She deserved it.

Who did she think she was to declare she loved him?

She knew nothing of him, nothing of what he had suffered through. She knew nothing of his pain. Her little life was perfect. She had both parents, she had never suffered a loss or extreme pain as he had.

There was no way she loved him.

They were thirteen, they were children. Children didn't know anything about life, even less of love.

He spent the rest of that class time staring out the window, contemplating the contrast between the sunny day outside to his dark, gloomy soul. The anger slowly died, leaving that familiar emptiness in his chest by the time the final bell rang, dismissing the students.

That day he went to the counselor and switched out of all the classes he shared with Sakura.

It would be another three years when he would speak to her again.

By my side
You'll never be
You'll never be


totally forgot to say that this will be a short multi-chap fic, at least three to four chapters