January 14th, 2012
Dear Big Nose,
I'm beginning to get bored these days. So I decided to put them into this Diary Sky and Harry got me on Samantha's 7th Christmas? It's the one with the turtles on it.
I've been getting dreams at night; they're so real it's as if I'm back to those days. Of bad hormones and emotions, and no, not during pregnancy. I promise.
It was back to when I met my true love. I date it at the top to that particular day, January 14th, 2012 instead of the actual date, which I have absolutely no idea in which it is.
Anyway, the dreams, they're like I'm watching the movie. The movie of my own love story, our love story.
I decided I might as well write it all down while I still remember it. You know it's like those dreams where you can see yourself at times, and then come back and it's as if you are yourself. I don't know how to explain it.
I think its special I write it down, not only for that, but also for a remembrance of my career. And our friend's stories: Sky, Rowan, Katie, and Cierra, Then Haz, Niall, Louis, and Zayn. It's everything. I feel bad living in the past, but there's not much to live for the future now.
Anyways, I'll write it down EXACTLY the way it was, before I forget everything. OK, READY SET, WRITE! :)
*Dream, always in Jenna's POV*
I sit across my roommate, Rowan, in our small stuffed up room. I and she haven't been friends for long, but my real best friend from school, Katie, wanted to do more spontaneous things and meet new people. She lives with our other new friend, Sky. And I hate it because everyone thinks we are so much alike, when we really aren't. Then there are our other friend, Cierra who live next door to me.
I look over at Rowans blue and green bed, her black hair cut into different, long, and choppy layers down her back. She's in her usual jeans and dark blue shirt. Which odd enough brings out her deep green eyes? She is bombed with homework, just like me. Being a sophomore in college, and in London, does not seem as fun as it did.
So I just settled in my usual position of sitting on my (I think purple) bed leaning my head on the cold window behind my headboard on the bed.
"Hey, Jen?" Rowan turns to me, I nod my head, implying her to continue, and "What time is it?" she asks, I pull out my purple watch and look at the time,
"About quarter to 7, why?" I tell her,
"Shit. We were going to meet the girls at 7:30 at the club." I look down at my sweats,
"Really? You know I don't drink! Just go on without me." I say,
"Just have a little fun! Come on, Jenna!" she drags me out of bed,
"No... Noo.. I dont want to! Stop that!" I yell at her,
"Come on. I'm picking both of our outfits again." She says, going to her closet,
"Fine. I guess you guys will need a designated driver." I give in,
"Exactly, and who knows maybe you'll meet someone?" she winks at me while pulling out a strapless, midnight blue, with sparkles making it look like the sky, out of my closet for me.
"Yeah sure and maybe I'll also fly on a unicorn, poop out rainbows, and eat sugar candies and not gain like 50 pounds too." I roll my eyes, "And you know I love that dress but-"
"And you look smoking in it too." She cuts me off,
"But its skin tight! It shows my belly." I jiggle my flap of fat. It's not like I'm 100 pounds overweight but I'm a good 5-8 pounds over normal. And it makes me self-conscious. I can never even imagine wearing anything like a bikini.
"Oh shut up. You look fine, who cares. Everyone there is drunk anyway, nobody will remember!" she says, shoving it in my face.
"Fine." I throw it on, and she throws on a deep purple dress on for herself.
"Hair." She commands me to sit down at my desk and loosley curls my caramel brown hair, afterward, she has already straightened hers this morning, so we head off to the usual spot, met outside by Cierra, whose blonde hair is curled and put half up half down.
"There you are!" she yells, motioning us to get in, which we do quickly.
"Where are the others?" I try and shot over the music,
"Who knows?" Cierra yells back before trying to push us to the dance floor, I decline and opt. out for the bar.
"Can I get you some, eh, Tequila? Vodka?" the bartender asks,
"No, no thank you. Could I have a glass of water?" I ask, he looks surprised, but I only drink water. I hate soda, and alcohol, and I'm lactose intolerant. So what?
I hear a few screams, girls scream and it makes me jump, hoping it's not the girls, but then I spot them in the back huddled in a corner kind of. With their asses shoved into some guy's penis. I roll my eyes and thank the bartender.
I look down at the bar table, the wood is so shiny I can see myself. I push the hair out of my face and see my now hazel eyes, since I'm so tired. This is my first time really being out in a long time, so I can see my rather pale self. Usually I'm back in my dorm room, declining at each chance I get for school work. It's nice to be out. I hear a man sit next to me, and I don't want to really make eye contact with anyone. I'm not good at making "friends".
Out of the corner of my eye I see a few girls. Or should I say drunken sluts/hoes whatever you prefer. They make rather seductive moves and one tries to rip his shirt off. All I can see is the back of his head, which I can observe that he's tan, has dark brown hair, and must be much taller than me. He tells them to stop, and does not seem interested. It makes me chuckle a little to myself. He turns back around and I can see the side of his face, which might I add is beautiful. He orders a coke. I try and avoid looking at him, but when I hear a little chink I look down to seeing his keys fell,
"Um, excuse me?" I ask, a bit timidly,
"Could I please just have a few seconds of calm please?" he erupts, well never mind you muchacho. I pick up his keys,
"I just wanted to tell you, you dropped your keys. Sorry." I say putting his keys on the table. He pauses, and I take a sip of my water,
"I'm sorry it's just been really crazy lately." I wave my hand to him for him not to worry about it. "You're not drinking? Is that water or Vodka? I can't really tell." he asks,
"Yes..." I answer, "I hate alcohol, smells weird." I crinkle my nose,
"Oh."
"You don't drink either I presume?" I ask, pointing at his coke,
"I've only got one kidney." He says, I nod my head understanding why, I'm in a science major for the body, my phone rings,
"Landon, I told you to STOP calling me." I answer my ex-boyfriend,
"No, Jenna where the fuck are you?" he asks,
"I wouldn't tell you! Not after what happened please, just stop! I don't ever want to talk to you again." I whisper-shout at him, then hang up.
"Ex-boyfriend?" the guy asks,
"Yeah. Not my best decision." I say,
"I don't think I caught your name?" he asks,
"Jenna. I'm a sophomore in the college here." I tell him, I don't want to give out my college name to a stranger,
"Major?" he asks,
"Pre-med. And minor in biology." I tell him, I love science, more than a young girl should, but I want to become a surgeon, its hard but I'm going to do it.
"That's pretty, urm... prestigious." He says, impressed,
"Thanks," I smile, "I guess," I mutter to myself. He nods his head, "I didn't catch your name either?"
"Oh!" he looks shocked, sorry the whole world doesn't know who you are buddy. "I'm Liam. Liam Payne?" he asks, and it clicks. Holy crap on a bun muffin.
"Oh! Oh gosh, I had no idea. I watched you on X Factor. Changed your hair?" I ask, looking at his now dark brown hair compared to his old more blondish hair,
"Yeah, it's had its changes since 2 years ago. He says, patting it down.
The cute guy from the TV is now sitting in front of me. Talking to me, and knowing I exist. I can now die. Yes I did watch his season on X Factor, with One Direction. But I wasn't really into it as much as my friends, but I remember him. I only watched them, for him. I loved his voice, his everything. And I remember being called a cougar by my friends because I'm like 3 years older than him.
"I knew you were here." Landon's voice is suddenly behind me, and grabbing my hips,
"Landon, get off. Now." I say elbowing him,
"Why should I?" He yells, "Whatever happened to us?"
"What happened? What happened was: you tried to do what you're doing right now. Trying to get me into bed with you. NEWS FLASH Landon: I'm not that kind of girl" I get up from my chair to continue, but he lifts his hand to smack me, but Liam grabs it,
"Alright buddy, I think we're done here. I think you should go home." He says, trying to be polite,
"Is this my replacement? Jenna!" he looks hard into my eyes and I see his, his usual blue eyes are now darker, and I can smell the alcohol in his breath. "He's not even anything compared to me!"
"Nothing? Really? Well what is it? You have your looks, your drinking every night even though you know I hate that. You hurt me, you abused me. No. Landon, you're just another guy that I was stupid enough to get talked into going out with. And fooled." I say, he smacks me. Fast and hard, he also tries to pull my wrists, but I pull them away, for sure leaving a bruise.
"You changed on me! Jenna Reyes used to be the fun girl, who didn't care, who was loose, fun, wanted to have a good time, she was smart, beautiful, and fun. Hm? Where did that Skyla go?" he asks, looking into my eyes,
"I grew up! I've realized that I should be happy. Really happy. Not like you. Maybe you should ask yourself the same question. I wanted to date the dreamy, happy, smart, Landon. Not this. Not a drunk." He smacks me again, I fall back a little, we've created a crowd for ourselves, the last one left me blindsided for a moment,
But for me, while I stand back, everything happens in almost slow motion, Liam and some other guys I can't really recognize at the moment take Landon out of the club. It's almost as if Cierra, Katie, Rowan, and Leticia all got knocked out of their daze and all come to me,
"Can we get some ice over here?" Katie asks, and in a moment cold is put to my right cheek,
"Thanks girls." I say, taking the ice from Cierra hand,
"No problem honey," Leticia says,
"Where are the boys?" Sky asks, you can tell she's still a bit tipsy,
"You're going to have to be more specific." Rowan says, looking around at all the guys before low and behold. There are 5 new guys standing around us, hello. And now that I know they are One Direction I place their faces with names. Liam, Niall, Zayn, Harry, and Louis all stand around me along with my girls. Knowing their all still drunk I tell them I'm ok. And each span out. All in pairs, Sky and Harry look like they've been together this whole night and aren't stopping at any 'bases', meanwhile, Cierra and Zayn and Katie and Louis look like they've been friends forever. Niall, Rowan, and Leticia join in the big crowd of people, except Niall is more stand offish and laughing at everyone. Liam stays with me,
"I'm really sorry." I say, embarrassed.
"Don't worry about it. You shouldn't be apologizing. He should." He says, patting my hand,
"He won't." I huff, "He's been like this for the past 3 months since I broke up with him, and then there was the time of when we were together." I cringe, "I'm sorry, you barely know me, and I shouldn't be saying all this stuff." I push the hair out of my face,
"No, it's-"he clears his throat, "I'd like to know you." He smiles at me, I smile back but Rowan turns me around,
"I need to get home." She says,
"What? Now? Why?" I ask, upset I have to drive her,
"I don't feel good at all." She admits, breathing out, I look at Liam,
"I'm REALLY sorry but I have to get her home." I tell him,
"Wait can I get your number?" he asks, I hesitate,
"I'm sorry but I really have to take her home before she throws up everywhere." I apologize and rush Rowan out of the club; she mutters she's sorry,
"If it's meant to be, I'll see him again. It's all good, babe." I rub her back and we hop in our car and drive back to our dorm.
*Back to diary note*
Its crazy how I remember this. Remembering everything. Every detail. It feels good. On that, I think I'll go to bed..
Love and remember forever,
Jenna-Marie Reyes
