I emerged from the Cola Car arena with my arm hovering above my head to block the sun from my eyes. I squinted as I tried to adjust to the light of the outside. When the white light disappeared from my view, I was faced with small buildings sitting side by side and covered with red tin roofs. Big words were painted across them that read "Popcorn" or "Try a Nuke" and the famous smiling bottle and cap. The Nuka-World song blasted in my ears. I was in awe. Nuka-World. I had always wanted to go. I never imaged I would see it like this, though. My family never had the money to go when I was little and my family… Nate had talked about taking, Shaun, one day…well I just ran out of time, I suppose.

I pushed forward, down the steps, holding my head high. I tried not to make eye contact with anyone, but I felt their eyes on me…me, the Overboss. It all happened so fast. Not just the gaining of my new position but the decisions I had made the last couple of days.

I remember sitting outside the Red Rocket, petting Dogmeat's head. Everyone was around me. I was praised like a hero after destroying the institute but I did not feel like one. I was on auto-pilot as I accepted compliments and gifts. Showered with affection for days but nothing registered.

All I could think about was my son, Shaun. The old man that had laid before me on his death bed. The old man who was spiteful and rude because I was destroying the only thing he was brainwashed to love the most. I wish I had more time to convince him that the company he grew up in was evil and did not deserve his respect and dedication, but again time was never on my side.

I slept next to whoever I was feeling close with that night; Danse, MacCready, it did not matter. It was just a warm body to hold. I was lost in my thoughts for hours and never got to sleep for the third night in a row. Then I made my decision. In one swift move I had slowly got out of bed, packed my bag with a few valuables and left down the road. I did not take Dogmeat, or warn any of my companions that I was leaving, I just…left. I realized that I did not deserve any of their affections, my friends at the Red Rocket. Or the people of the Common Wealth. I was a fraud. I wasn't the "good guy" I was just the puppet who killed anyone who pointed the finger first.

My alliance with the Brotherhood meant nothing. I was just another solider taking orders, and I did it the best. There were many things I didn't agree with but I had no other choice than to follow orders. There was no right or wrong in this world, it was just about who had the most power. The Minute Men were the only group I could stand behind and no one took them seriously because they were too kind and too weak. This world was unforgiving and there wasn't a place for good people like the Minute Men.

I wanted to forget. This was the only way I could, by leaving. I needed to start fresh, go where no one knew who I was. I traveled until the souls of my shoes wore down. And then I found the sign Nuka-World. Little did I know, who the parks new inhabitants were.

Gangs. Just that word made me uneasy. My road leathers kind of blended in with the other raiders. Stained with blood and worn down from travel. It was the first time in a long time that I had not worn my Vault suit. It was a staple of who I was but I left it behind, that was a different chapter in my life that was now over.

I did not tolerate the disrespect that each group was giving me. I kept it neutral, taking no sides and no bullshit. Hell, I wasn't emotionally stable enough to be taking sides anyway. The most terrifying gang was the Disciples. They were my last stop. I talked with the leader, who was such a bitch, but so was I. She smirked at my threat, clearly enjoying the idea of an Overboss who wasn't afraid. Nisha showed me around their "club house" and that's when I lost it.

We got to the top of the stairs and my stomach lurched forward. Troughs of blood, severed heads, skinned bodies and bones littered the floor. I felt the blood drain from my face as I slowly backed up. I tried to play it cool but Nisha saw right through me.

"What's wrong Overboss, feeling weak around the sight of blood…?" she was smiling.

"No. No. I'm fine." I said, hearing the break in my voice. I was no stranger to blood and gore but this was beyond anything I had seen. The smell of rust from fresh blood was so strong it trickled down my mouth and was clogging my throat. I longed for fresh air more than anything in that moment.

Her right hand, Dixie, was closing in on me with an insane smile plastered to her face. They knew I was backing up to the edge and didn't stop me. Suddenly, I couldn't feel the floor underneath me anymore. I squealed as my right arm caught the ledge. I was dangling 50 ft above a bloody mess of mashed up bodies and shish kabob limps. I screamed "Help, me up!" I tried to sound forceful but my head was swirling and my heart was thudding and ended up sounding like a child.

I saw Dixie standing above me, giggling like a maniac. My eyes were wide and I saw a knife emerge from a holster strapped to her thigh. She brought it to my fingers. "NO!" I screamed as I struggled to hang on. The blade shone bright as she angled it closer, I saw my reflection, and my eyes were filled with tears, dammit.

"Dixie, back off." I heard Nisha order.

"Oh, Nisha, come on, just one finger!" she licked her lips as she brought her face close to her blade, laughing at my fear.

I saw Nisha grab Dixie's shoulder and push her upright and back. She grabbed me by the wrist and hauled me back on my feet. She didn't let go of her grip as she brought her face inches from mine "I see you, little girl. Don't get in my groups way and we won't have a problem." I didn't break her gaze as I felt my jaw clench. I ripped my hand from her clenched fingers and shoved past her. I made my way down the steps and out the door. I held it together until I was outside and past the guards. I kept my head down as I pushed the button to the Fizz Top Grille's elevator. A tear fell from my eye, dropped on my leather jacket and slid down my arm. I wiped at my eye. Don't let them see you cry.

The sun had set on Nuka-town as I tossed and turned in my new bed. It reeked of alcohol and cigarettes. I got up and made my way to the far right side of the converted diner. I curled up on the yellow lounge chair and rested my chin on my knees. I watched the raiders dance and drink under the flickering light from their camp fire. It didn't matter that it was the middle of the night, it didn't stop them from making noise.

I was lost in my thoughts again, trying to accept the fact that this was my new home now. These were my people, I was a murder just like them. I killed my son and have no regret for doing it …I'm no better than the rest of them. No matter how hard I try to justify it.

I am so tired. I just want to sleep. I've been lost in my thoughts for days, my temples constantly throb, I just want peace…just for…a few…moments. My eye lids felt heavy as they slid closed. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I immediately jumped out of the chair and in a second my fists were protecting my face.

"Whoa, easy there, Boss." It was Gage. He walked to the chair beside mine and sat down. He leaned back, his hands pulled behind his head, elbows out. "I heard you met with all the gangs and you did well."

I relaxed and sat back down bringing my knees to my chest again "Well, than you heard wrong."

"Oh, don't worry about the disciples. I don't blame you for the way you reacted to their little shit hole. You get use it."

"They think I am weak." I stared straight ahead.

"Well..." I felt his eyes on me, then he looked away "Don't worry, you'll prove to them you aren't soft."

"How do you know I'm not?" I challenged him.

"I just know." He didn't look at me. I stared at him studying his features. He had rough, scarred skin and a large manly nose. His lips were full. His eyes were small and hid beautiful light green irises. Ruggedly handsome came to mind and before I could finish my thought he started to rise. "Well, get some sleep. Tomorrow we take the grand tour of the park."

He patted my shoulder as he left my "penthouse." I turned back resting my head on my shoulder where he placed his hand and smiled. When I caught myself I immediately frowned and shook whatever thought was emerging from my mind. I swallowed the lump in my throat and went back to my musty bed and tried to get some sleep.