This came out of a picture by Killertune on Tumblr (killertune. tumblr. com/ post/ 13746458277). They were all just too adorable for words. I've only written this so far, but it's launched an entire world.

Welcome to Earth-99, where the sidekicks are sidekickin' it all at the same time, and their parents might not be quite as terrible as usual.


It was a simple enough assignment. All he had to do was keep Dick's baby brother out of trouble and entertain the young alien princess the League had rescued and left with the Titans. No problem. Yeah, he would have rather been out on assignment with everyone else–seriously, even Garth got to go–but they were trusting him to be responsible and monitor the Tower. Besides, he'd drawn the short stick fair and square–although he was sure Wally switched their sticks–and, as Ollie said, "Them's the breaks, kid."

Whatever that means.

Anyway, nothing too difficult. An eight-year-old and a however-old-but-awfully-tiny alien couldn't be that hard to control, not for Roy "Awesomesauce" Harper!

"Batman needs me!"

Oh, wait. That's right. It's the annoying baby brother.

Roy sighed as Jason kicked and squirmed to get out of the older boy's grasp and run out the door.

"No, he doesn't, little man. That's why they left you here."

"Nuh-uh! He just left me to watch you!"

"Sure, kid. Keep tellin' yourself that."

Jason aimed a particularly violent kick at Roy's crotch and bit down hard on the gloved hand on his shoulder. Roy swore and dropped him, glaring daggers at the boy as he ran toward the exit. Living up to his moniker, Roy shot out a suction arrow that planted itself firmly against the little Robin's shorts, and yanked back. With a yelp, Jason came tumbling backwards into the room.

"Ha! One more for the Speedmeister!"

"Go to hell!"

Roy pulled back on the line some more and Jason came rolling toward him, trying but failing to avoid getting tangled.

"Here's the thing, kid. You go out after them, you're gonna get yourself beat. You're too young, little man."

Jason pouted, trying to untangle himself. "Fuck you! Being Robin gives me magic!"

"Watch your language, brat, there's a kid here!" Roy whacked Jason on the head and looked around for his youngest charge.

The little princess–Korand...Kora...Cocoa Puffs...hell, Roy couldn't remember–was spinning the main console's chair slightly, paying rapt attention to the action on the screen. A super-powered gang was using street kids as lackeys in some sort of bizarre experiment in crime, and the League had sent the Titans in to find out where the kids were being held. Suddenly, the princess squealed and started bouncing in the chair, pointing to the screen and looking back at Roy frantically.

Roy gave Jason a little shove and walked over to the computers.

"What's wrong little one? Don't like watchin' the real Robin in action?"

"Die in a fire!" Jason shouted, almost out of the rope.

"Kid, I'm telling your dad about you!"

Kori shrieked again and flew up to Roy, grabbing his face and turning it back to the screen. He understood why she was upset. The newly powered out-of-control kids were battling the Titans and winning hands down. Wally was out cold, trapped in some sort of gummy substance; Garth was caught in some sort of electric cage that was shrinking around him; Donna was fighting off a strange mud monster; and Dick was doing his best to dodge a firebug. Overall, the Titans were getting their collective asses handed to them.

Jason rushed over to them. "We gotta help them!"

Roy looked between the two of them. The princess was getting more and more agitated, and Jason looked like he was about to storm out whether Roy wanted him to or not. He had a judgement call to make.

"Alright, kids," Roy said, straightening his cap in a determined and heroic way. "We're goin' after them. BUT...I'm in charge, got that?"

"Yeah, whatever, come on!"

If they survived this, Roy decided, he was going to need a huge raise.

"Alright, it looks like they're holding the Titans down in a vault, so all we have to do is–"

"Storm the place and kick some ass!"

"No, Robin Two! We're going to sneak in, see if there's a guard around, and make him open the vaults."

"Or we could bust through everybody, get into their headquarters–"

Jason and Roy's argument was interrupted by a loud explosion behind them. Korda or whatever her name was just stood looking through the new hole in the wall, watching the dust settle. She looked at the boys, pointed at the hole, and went inside. The boys stared at each other.

"So much for stealth," Roy muttered.

To their great surprise (and Roy's great relief), the unexpected entrance didn't lead them to Ambush City. They crept through the halls of the old bank, easily taking out the odd guard they encountered. As they got closer and closer to the vaults, Roy began to feel especially uneasy.

"Hey, kid. Doesn't this seem a bit too...easy?"

"Nah, they're just wusses. They don't wanna know what totally exploded their wall."

A roar echoed down from the corridor in front of them, and the sound of stomping footsteps came from around the corner.

"Yeah, cause that's totally wussy!" Roy hissed, drawing an arrow.

Jason crept up ahead of him, Batarang at the ready.

"Alright, Speedy. I'll head for the knees, you aim for the head."

"Sure, that's a foolproof plan."

Unbeknownst to the still-arguing boys, Koriand'r reached up to Roy's arrow, putting a dab of a starbolt in the center, just to see if it would work.

Roy pulled up his bow. "Alright, count of three. One. Two."

"RAAAAAR!"

"Three?"

"Three!"

They jumped around the corner, Jason launching his Batarang at the mud creature's mid-section while Roy shot his arrow. He noticed the arrow's strange glow half a second after it left his fingers. He yelled in a sort of warning and threw himself on top of Jason as the starbolt arrow exploded on contact, sending mud splattering all over the hallway. Sitting up and shaking off mud, Roy looked around, trying to assess what just happened. Kori stood in the hallway they had just left, holding her doll and just staring at him.

"And I'll bet you're proud of yourself, aren't you?"

She said nothing, but walked around the corner and headed down the hallway.

Jason sat up, rubbing his head.

"Jeez, someone get the number of that truck, would ya?"

"I think I killed it."

Roy stood up and walked to where the mud creature had just stood. Jason followed him, peering around his arm to see what was left.

"I dunno. He looks pretty solid to me."

Indeed, in place of the wall of mud was a young boy, a little younger than Roy, bruised, but still breathing. Roy looked up ahead at the little alien.

"I think she's scarier than anything I've met yet."

"I like her."

"Of course you would. Come on."

Two-thirds of the way down the hall, Kori stopped, tilted her head toward a door, then made a happy sound and pointed at the door.

"Is that where Timmy is, girl?"

Kori narrowed her eyes in annoyance, then turned to the door, preparing a starbolt.

Roy ran over to her.

"Whoa there, Princess. No need for that kind of fire power, alright? I'll handle this one."

She paused, looking at him as if trying to understand what he had said, then dissipated her starbolt with a mild huff. Relieved that the "imminent danger in the tiny package" was gone, Roy drew an exploding arrow and took aim at the door.

"Clear out, little Robin." Jason grabbed Kori and pulled her back as Roy fired. The resulting hole was less impressive than the one Kori had provided, but it got the job done. Inside, Roy could see his teammates in various states of beaten. Checking for enemies, Roy jumped inside the vault and headed over to Robin.

"Hey, Rob, can you hear me? Rob. Wake up."

Robin stirred and opened his eyes slowly.

"Speedy? What're you...?"

"Don't worry, buddy. I'm here to rescue you."

"Batman–"

"He'll thank me later. Takin' the initiative and everything."

"Batman."

"No, Rob, Speedy. You got it right once–"

"We'll take it from here, Speedy."

Roy froze, eyes widening in panic. Of course, Batman would show up right after his only self-led victory. He couldn't just have a moment to be a hero himself. Just couldn't happen. He felt a hand clap down on his shoulder.

"Speedy, m'boy! Good job, there, kiddo! Way ta support your team!"

Roy nodded slowly, disheartened.

"Yeah. Thanks, G.A."

Roy let himself be ushered out into the corridor while the League members dealt with the Titans. Jason pulled Kori over to the dejected archer.

"Hey, I thought you did good. I mean, obviously you could've done better if you had listened to me, but you did good. The Princess is happy, too, I think."

She giggled and grabbed Roy's hand, smiling up at him.

"Between you and me," Jason began, leaning against a wall, "I think we make a damn good team. The three of us. We should do this more often."

"Yeah, right. Maybe on the planet of crazies, we will."

"I'm serious! We're awesome."

Roy ruffled Jason's hair.

"Yeah, sure, kid. Why not? We'll be our own team. Speedy and the Brats."

"Hey!"

Roy laughed and playfully dodged Jason's punches.

Maybe this babysitting thing wasn't so bad after all.