1. Tell him that Ponyo hates him
2. When he asks who Ponyo is, roll your eyes and rant about how behind times he is
3. Tell him the whole story and laugh as he panics
4. Bathe the stink spirit from Spirited Away right over where he lives
, fill his house with soot sprites
6. When he rants about how disgusting humans are, scream, "BUG OFF BUG OFF BUG OFF!" and cover your ears
7. Laugh as he doesn't get the "bug off" joke
8. Then remind him that he was once a human too
9. Do this constantly
10. Rant to him about how painfully obvious it is that Ponyo was ripped off of The Little Mermaid
11. Because he looks exactly like Ariel with the long red hair
12. Call him Ariel from now on
13. Buy him a purple seashell bra for his birthday
14. Switch around all his elixirs
15. During the part where he goes on land to take Ponyo back, grab his weird spritzer thing, run away with it, and start spritzing it over your garden
16. When he runs after you and tells you he needs the spritzer to keep from drying out on land, tell him he can't have his weed killer back
17. Give him a bottle of lotion instead
18. Burst into his home uninvited the next day
19. When he asks what you're doing at his house, tell him it's payback for him barging in on your property yesterday
20. Complain about how hungry you are and demand that he give you something to eat
21. If he says no, cry until he says yes
22. Then no matter what he gives you, scream, "I WANT HAM!" and throw your food at his face
23. Even if he gives you ham
24. Sic all of his weird fish things after him
25. Taunt him mercilessly as he contemplates sending a tsunami after you
