TDINE #1 – Become One
Summary: In a game of Truth or Dare, someone willingly becomes one with Mother Russia…finally revealed. (Deal with the devil much?)
Part of Truth or Dare – InterNational Edition: a series of short stories on Nations' games of Truth or Dare, may or may not be in APHTOD-Standard Format. Accepting suggestions on what to do next. Whether the stories are connected or not depends on the suggestions.
Makes use of the Subsection AU: an AU that vouches for the existence of Japanese Prefectures (canon), Chinese Provinces (since Fujian exists, canon), American States and Territories (fanon), Canadian Provinces and Territories (?), British Counties and HongKongese Districts (and others, but I don't really care).
Disclaimer: The owner of Hetalia is a Japanese male. I am neither Japanese nor of the male gender. Therefore, I do not own Hetalia. Logic! Except for Marissa. She's my OC.
Warning: Suggestive themes. As a matter of fact, this is literally the most suggestive thing that I have ever, ever written. You have been warned.
PS I literally live 8-12 time zones away from the USA and know little to nothing about accents, slang and the like, and my non-English in this fic originates from other fics' translations and Google Translate. I hereby apologize in advance for any misinterpretations and request that you provide correction suggestions should I need them.
A/N: Oh, and Chinese people do not end their sentences with aru. I know because I am Hong Kong Chinese. You can ask me if you want to translate things into Cantonese, Mandarin Chinese/Putonghua, Chinglish/Hong Kong English and/or Hong Kong slang. Remember that I am willing to help.
Anyways, sorry for the long A/N. On with the fic!
Late November, 20XX
"Ohonhonhon~ I dare you to lock the Cold War Rivals in a closet for 15 minutes!"
The dare bursts out of his mouth like a cat fleeing from a filled bathtub…or a certain Italian during (running) training in WW2 when he was promised pasta afterwards. To no one's surprise, the reactions are instantaneous. "WHAT?!"
Pretty much everyone knows not to keep those two in close contact. I mean, they're borderline mortal enemies, aren't they? This guy honestly has a death wish, on top of being a – ahem, "cheese-eating surrender monkey". But forfeiting ain't allowed (or rather, unless the forfeiter removes an article of clothing, and said forfeiter-in-an-AU is wearing a one-piece outfit…), so the Nation dared (along with a few others) are forced to drag the 'protesting' ("But…he's the commie b*stard!") – or in one case, kol-ling like they just won the lottery – duo into the nearest closet and lock them in.
"They're going to tear this house apart," one of the Nations sigh.
And the game goes on.
"It's been so long since we spent time together like this, da?"
"H-hey, Vanya, can't you just…stop with the chit-chat and…get on with it?"
"You are saying that you want to become one with Russia, da?"
"…Pozhaluysta."
In a certain location in the Southeast, Marissa (note: an asexual) is just chillin' in her house. Wait, why's the air getting warmer? It's an evening in November! Hold on…
"NOT AGAIN, POPS! SERIOUSLY? DO YOU HONESTLY NOT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT YOUR KIDS?"
"Aiyah! I would have thought that it would be louder over there," China comments, looking in the closet's direction, as though expecting a fist or two to punch through the wood any moment, or violent shouting and fighting to begin.
Of course, Hungary and Japan have to go to check…and come back pinching their noses, as though their lives depend on the crimson, metallic-smelling liquid dribbling from their nostrils, the latter with a digital camera not-so-inconspicuously hanging out of his pocket.
A slightly creepy smile twists into a triumphant smirk. "Pay up, Angleterre."
"Ve~ they've been in there for three hours already? Shouldn't somebody check on them?" asks Italy, the sweet litl' sinnamon roll.
And when they all open the wooden closet doors, they find two not-quite-unharmed Nations cuddling under a fluffy coat, with some…questionable items (and liquid) in a corner, though the thing in the bracket is not quite limited to one space. ;-)
25 December, the Same Year
Approximately a month later, a certain Nation receives a bracelet with three horizontal stripes, in the order of white-blue-red, with the words printed on it, in bright green letters: HANDS OFF! RUSSIAN PROPERTY!
Meanwhile, another Nation receives a note that reads:
Remember that one wrong move on my older brother means that a hockey stick up your ass will be the least of your worries. – HKSAR
Well then. This marks the end of this highly suggestive fic. This is not rated M due to it being 100% lacking in lemons/limes/smut/whatever and I have actually seen a suggestive fic rated K+. As in, it is socially acceptable for nine-year-olds to read about BDSM/non-vanilla sex-related content. But I digress.
Headcanon: the North American Brothers (Canada and America) are very close to the Chinese SAR Brothers (Macau and Hong Kong):
Canada & Macau: Often forgotten by most (the former by Canon, the latter by both Canon and the Fandom.)
Canada & HK: Former British colonies, Canadian troops fought in the Battle of Hong Kong
US & Macau: Gambling (the former in one city's case, PS I ship Macau/Nevada [State OC])
US & HK: Former British colonies (the first and the last), short-lived childhoods, secretly sad-bois (the latter IMO)
Quick Question – Vote on the following by review for the next TDINE story:
Truth: Where is [your] E-Zone (suggested by Featherhooves – close Hetalian friend)
Dare: Make out with the one whom [you] are willing to cover in maple syrup and lick it off of [them]. (Featherhooves' suggestion, mildly altered by me)
Alternate Suggestions:
a. Tribute to 9/11
b. Hong Kong & the Districts singing Updated MTR Song 2.0
Edit: Thx for reminding me that stories are not interactive. I have posted a poll on my profile. Vote there instead, but all review votes will be taken into consideration.
Edit #2: Go to my profile to vote for the Hetalia Hunger Games Simulation you want to be posted first!
Edit #3: Poll closed! Thank you to the two users that voted! I will continue writing: another truth or dare fic (possibly), a fluffy story, an angsty headcanon fic…and more!
PS the asexual girl That-One-State is for pure awkwardness.
Anyway, thank you for reading this not-so-angsty fic of mine. If you disapprove of this pairing, don't hate. Flames will be used to burn the Fifty Shades trilogy – no offense, of course, to any fans, but the books make the Twilight saga look like the Legend of the Eagle-Shooting/Condor Heroes, one of the best wuxia book series ever written IMO.
Bye-bye!
-Talons
Edit (11 September 2018): The official sequel to this story, Epic Rap Battles of Historical Interruptions has been posted! You can check it out if you wish to!
