A/N I haven't written anything in a really long time... I've just... not had the inspiration I guess. But... I've been working on this randomly for almost a year now. And I'm sorry to Ken that it took so long. This was supposed to be his birthday gift. Now it's just a nice gift to him. Hope you like it Kennykins!
I own nothing you recognize.
-Dest
I don't know when my mind had decided to tell me that I liked him more than a friend. I was perfectly happy acting like he was my brother in a way and getting on with my life. Then my brain had to go and look at him a different way. A way that made me want to lace my fingers through his hair, bring his lips closer to mine, and kiss him with as much power that I could muster. I think I'm falling in love with him, if I'm not already. I've known him since our first year. I've been through so much with him. I don't think it's possible for me not to love him. I've always known that. There was never any doubt in my mind that I loved him. I always thought it was like a brother. I think I've been mistaken.
These kind of realizations need to be confessed at the perfect time. In my mind at least. I haven't had the chance to talk to him. He's been busy doing whatever the Wizarding World wants him to. He hates it. He hates all of the publicity that finishing Voldemort has given him. Harry has always just wanted to be a normal kid. He wanted to be a normal kid who had loving parents and had friends that he could play around with. He didn't want Voldemort to be constantly after him for the majority of his childhood. I understood that. I saw past the green eyes and understood him better than any other person ever has.
Tonight is going to be different. He told me that he won't do anything else but come straight here after work. He got a job in the Auror office. Normally, he would have had to go through extensive training to become an Auror like everyone else, but he was different. Of course he was different. He was the Chosen One. The Boy Who Lived. He had defeated Voldemort without even graduating from Hogwarts. So they accepted him and Ron as Aurors. Ron only because of Harry. I went back to school. I couldn't stand not finishing my seventh and final year of Hogwarts. That was the first place I truly felt like I belonged.
I'm not sure how I'm going to tell him. I want it to be one of the first things I say to him tonight, but I'm not sure if I'm going to let myself do that. The fear of dismissal is erupting in my chest and stopping me from saying anything past friendly. I can't help it. I may have been a Gryffindor, but this was different. I can risk my own life to help others without a thought. Yet, when it comes to something like telling someone I like them, I can't do it. It's even worse since I know that I more than like Harry. I love him. I love him with all of my heart.
I'll try to muster the courage of course. Try to overcome to fear that takes over my actions. I'm sitting in the living room right now, waiting for him to knock on the door. He told me he'd be here at eight. It's five minutes past. I didn't expect him to be on time, he's constantly busy. I'm just glad I'll be able to hang with him and him alone. No Ron or Ginny with us.
Ginny. The one person I'll be afraid of the most after I tell Harry. I don't know if they have anything still. I haven't talked to them much lately and last time I did, things weren't too well. There was a hope that they were over each other, right? One could only hope as much.
A loud knock on the door, causing me to jump slightly, and I suddenly feel hot. Running my fingers through my hair fast, I took a deep breath and went to get the door. Opening it, I found my best friend looking at me with an apologetic look. "I'm sorry I'm late... Ginny showed up and we had to talk about something." His face looked... distant.
"Is everything alright?" I asked him, pulling him into my flat by his arm. I tried not to think about how Ginny had just talked to him.
Harry took a deep, shaky breath. "No... Everything isn't alright." He looked like he was about to cry. Literally. Without thinking, I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around his waist for a hug. He wrapped his arms around me back instantly and I buried my face into his chest. He had grown a few inches since we were out of school. Which was... three years ago now? I think.
"What's wrong, Harry?" I asked against his chest, knowing he could hear me.
"Well... Uh. Ginny's pregnant. Apparently she has been for a good couple months now, but hasn't told me because we broke up." He explained. My eyes widened. Was he being serious? Ginny was pregnant? That couldn't be good for her Quidditch career she had just started.
I pulled back before answering. "You-you're going to be a dad?" I asked him in a small voice. He just shook his head in response. "You'll be an amazing dad, Harry." I told him honestly, and I meant it. That didn't mean I wanted him to be a dad. I was fighting tears now. If he was going to father a child with Ginny, then surely he was going to get back with her. It would be what was best for the child.
"I don't want to be a dad, Hermione. Not with Ginny. And, I'm not going to be one with her." Harry whispered. He seemed really upset about it. He took a deep breath and continued, "For the past couple of months, we were on a break, but not completely broken up. And, I went to break up, completely, with her today, and she told me that she was pregnant. With Draco's child."
"Everything will be okay, Harry." I told him but I wasn't sure what he was talking about. I really did like Ginny, but I had no idea why someone would pass over Harry for Draco Malfoy. I mean, he's Draco.
Harry seemed to get frustrated when I said that, but I wasn't sure why. "No it bloody won't! I had a plan today... and Ginny ruined it because now I'm flustered. And things aren't going how I planned them. Argh!"
I had no idea what was he going on about... it was starting to confuse the hell out of me. "What...do you mean?" I asked him in a small voice.
"I mean... this." Harry told me before his hands were on my face and was inches from me. This... couldn't be happening. This wasn't for real. This was some kind of sick dream my mind had made up in an attempt to keep myself happy. I would wake up in a minute, crying because this is all just a sick dream. But, it isn't. He is really here, kissing me. "I want you, Hermione. I want to be with you. I love you. So much. I want forever with you." Harry whispered before pressing his lips to mine. It wasn't a sweet and innocent one either, not like I always thought Harry would kiss like. It was filled with want, and I knew it was his want for me.
I kissed him back without thinking about it. I didn't need to think about it. I had waited for this for forever and I was finally going to have him for myself. I am going to make sure that me and Harry were going to be happy for the rest of our lives.
