When Dean had first parked the Impala, her engine slowly revving into silence, he had a million thoughts going through his head. Sam was gone, and there was no guarantee that Lisa would even let him in. There was no absolutes to his situation. If he knocked on Lisa's door, she might open it. If she opened it, she might let him in. And even if she did let him in, who knew if she would be able to deal with the complete and total mess Dean was doomed to be once the real loss had settled into his mind.

Grief was something Dean understood well. But, he was never prepared no matter how many times he had to experience it. When his mother died, he cried and was upset at first, but that wasn't the worst part. The worst parts were the months after Mary's death. Knowing that his mother was actually gone for good, and was never coming back. He stopped speaking to anyone, trapped inside his mind contemplating the fact that he'd have to live the rest of his life without his Mother.

And now that Sam was gone, he was reliving it all over again. He had stopped at a few gas stations on the way to Lisa's, and the most recent one before arriving, he had finally broke down. After filling up Baby's tank, Dean sat in the driver's seat, immobile and silent. He was only a few miles away from his destination, and he could easily just go right then and there, but he didn't. He just stared at the flickering light of the gas station's open/closed sign. The 'O' was burnt out, and the last three letters were barely holding onto their lives. Dean focused on the faint buzzing of the power lines around the lot. And then all of a sudden, he remembered the image of his brother falling into the abyss that led to Lucifer's cage.

Tears formed in his eyes, but he tried to hold them back. He had to stay strong for Sammy. Except, Sammy was gone, and he had no one else to hide his feelings from other than the redneck on the other side of the lot who was filling up his pickup truck. He gave in to all the feelings that he'd kept inside since saying goodbye to Bobby.

He let out a loud sob that shook his whole body, and then he let out another one. Tears went down his cheeks like a waterfall, and soon his body was continuously wracked with heart-wrenching sobs. The onslaught of emotions lasted for almost ten minutes, and then Dean's breathing evened out. He wiped the left over tears away and took a deep breath. He finally put the keys into the ignition, and heard the familiar sound of the Impala's engine starting up.

Should I continue this? I don't know if I'll ever finish it, but hey, might as well try, right?

Also I'd be very grateful if you left a review

-Maggie