Hello, this is just a oneshot that came to me in a stroke of inspiration- hope you like it
James looked around at the wedding guests. They wanted a speech. They wanted it to be funny. James knew by experience, that when he tried to be funny, it never worked. So he settled for honesty and creativity.
"Erm…" he cleared his throat. "Usually, if someone wants to compare my wife to something, they compare her to a Lily." He looked at her. She rolled her eyes.
"So I won't do that." He added hastily. The audience laughed. James stared at them. It wasn't meant to be funny.
"So, anyway, I thought I would compare her to firewhiskey." He finished. He gazed around perplexed at his audience, who were all now rolling around in their seats clutching their sides.
Ignoring the hot flush rising in his cheeks, James gripped his speech tighter and began.
"Like firewhiskey, my wife is intoxicating and addictive." For this line, he received a few catcalls, all of which were from Sirius.
"Like firewhiskey, she doesn't stay contained for long. She goes with the flow." He waited for a laugh. There was none. He nervously cleared his throat and continued.
"Like firewhiskey, if you touch her you get a tingling sensation. Also like firewhiskey, a lot of her makes you feel giddy and happy." Lily smiled at him.
"And like if I have too much firewhiskey, when I am around her I do stupid things!"
James heard Lily mutter out of the corner of her mouth "Too right!"
"Like firewhiskey, a night with Lily is likely to be great!" To this Sirius let out a very load wolf whistle to which James turned scarlet.
"But the morning after is always better with Lily than it is with firewhiskey."
The audience laughed. They actually, finally laughed at one of his jokes! He felt elated.
"Like firewhiskey, my wife is liked by all sorts of people. Like the drink, she is sweet, fiery and will knock your socks off!"
"But at the end of the day, I think if it came down to a choice between a bottle of Firewhiskey and my wife, I would choose her every time."
To mark the end of his speech, the audience stood and raised their glasses to the groom.
please review? Hope you enjoyed it
Lili
xxx
