From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking, step into the sun
There's more to be seen than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done
My life has never been easy, starting the day I was born.
*Flashback*
"Mr. Anderson?" Said the nurse holding a little blue blanket in her arms.
"Yes, how is my wife?" He said trying to look into the room.
"I am sorry to say she did not make it," she said looking at the ground, "here is your son his name is Blaine." Almost robotically he took the little baby in his arms. A mirror image of the woman he loved. Tears filled his eyes as he slowly started to process what the doctor said.
He finally saw into the room there laid the lifeless body of his wife still beautiful even in death his heart broke and he slowly turned around and with the nurses screaming at him he ran out of the hospital.
*End Flashback*
Some say eat or be eaten
Some say live and let live
But all are agreed as they join the stampede
You should never take more than you give
Still, I've always tried my hardest to be strong, but sometimes I just thought god just hated me.
*Flashback*
"I hate you! You are nothing, but a disappointment of a child! You killed your mother you fag you do not deserve to live!" My father yelled in his drunken rage. I just stood there and let him get it all out tears filling my eyes.
"Why does a fag like you deserve to live instead of her, huh?" I just stood there trying not to let his words sink in.
"I asked you a question!" He screamed.
"I-I am sorry," I said my emotions getting the best as me as I felt a tear role out of my eye.
"Why are you crying I should be the one who is crying after being cursed with a son like you?!" He said smacking me across the face.
*End Flashback*
I guess it could have been worse my father was decent enough when he was sober, but once he had a drink in his hand he would let all of his hidden emotions free.
In the circle of life, it's the wheel of fortune
It's the leap of faith, it's the band of hope
Till we find our place on the path unwinding
In the circle, the circle of life
I keep trying to think it gets worse before it gets better, but sometimes I wonder how much worse it has to get.
*Flashback*
Jake and I exit the dance relived no one had said anything to us we stood outside of his school waiting for his mother to pick us up when we heard a noise behind us.
"What's up faggots?" I looked behind to see a group of jocks gathering behind us.
"Just ignore them, they'll go away," Jake said giving me a comforting smile.
"Hey I am talking to you!" Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned around and found myself face to face with the captain of the football team.
"Don't touch him!" screamed Jake pushing me behind him.
"Awww look he's protecting his boyfriend," Said one of the jocks. Before I knew what was happening Jake was lying on the ground unconscious.
"Jake!" I screamed kneeling down next to him. The last thing I remember after that is waking up in the hospital surrounded by doctors.
*End Flashback*
Jake died that night in the hospital those guys were never caught. I have always thought if maybe I was brave enough to stand up for myself maybe Jake would still be alive today.
Some of us fall by the wayside
And some of us soar to the stars
And some of us sail through our troubles
And some have to live with the scars
In the end I guess it did payoff and I found myself oddly glad I went through all the troubles I went through because in the end I got more than I could ever want out of it.
*Flashback*
I watched as the handsome shifted uncomfortably under our gaze.
"It's nice of you of you guys to invite me to coffee before beating me up," he said to break the silence.
"We're not going to beat you up," David said trying to suppress a laugh.
"You were such a horrible spy we found it endearing," said Wes hiding his smirk behind his coffee.
"I have a question are you all gay?" He said shyly
"No, I mean I'm gay, but these two have girlfriends. We just have a zero bullying policy."
*End Flashback*
After that I found out Kurt was bullied and I was able to help him fight his demons. Later on I started looking at Kurt differently and I realized my feelings went beyond those of a protector.
*Flashback*
…..Blackbird fly into the light of the dark black sky
I didn't know a song could be sung with so much passion! What is this feeling in my chest? Has Kurt always looked this beautiful? Wait I shouldn't be thinking that about my friend I'm supposed to be his protector. Now that I am looking at him though maybe he doesn't need someone to watch out for him. Maybe he needs someone who loves him. Wait, love where did that come from, but now that I think about it maybe I do? Man, I'm in trouble.
*End Flashback*
After I got past that confusion I was able to make my move on him and I was happy to find he liked me too and it was perfect.
There's far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rolling high through the sapphire sky
Keeps great and small on the endless round
I've been married to that same man for 20 years now and I couldn't be more in love. With his help we had a beautiful baby girl named Emily and I can tell she is going to grow up to be a wonderful young woman. I now work for am a counselor helping others with their problems and am volunteering for an emergency lifeline helping kids who are in need. To think if without all of my scars none of this would've happened I guess that just is the circle of life.
