"Andrew: We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all."

--The Breakfast Club


"Cell phone, please?" A gentle voice called from the front of the room. Rosalie Hale almost jumped in her seat.

Rose sighed, walked across to the front desk and reluctantly handed it over. Ms. Evenson opened the phone to inspect her text messages. She didn't notice the indignant glare Rose was giving her.

"May you please bring your phone up as well, Mr. McCarty?"

Hah! Rose smirked at Em, all anger dissipated. It was nice to know karma was at least remotely fair.

"I'll give you back your phones when detention is over. Hopefully you won't feel too technologically deprived for another half hour.


Bella glanced at Jasper, the only student sitting in the front row, and couldn't resist sniggering. She could imagine the withdrawal her best friend was going through with his lack of computer contact.


Rosalie's eyes narrowed when she could hear Bella Swan sniggering behind her back. Was she laughing at her? What a teacher's pet.


Emmett caught the expression on Rose's face as they walked back to their respective desks. Crap, he hoped she wasn't too angry at him. After all, he got caught as well.

Then again, from his experience, there was little reasoning with the female population.


Esme Evenson had to pee really badly. She knew she couldn't leave the room without somebody temporarily watching them (stupid, inconvenient school policies), but would anybody care if she slipped out for only a minute or two…?

What was the worst that could happen anyway? She had been teaching for the school for a good ten years. The worst she would get was a sharp reprimand.

"Bella," she looked at her former geometry student, "do you mind watching everyone and making sure they're in line while I'm gone for two seconds?"

Bella looked at her with mock incredulousness. "Sure, why don't I figure out the enigma of the big bang while I'm at it as well?"

"Don't you mean the cure for cancer?"

"It's clichéd. Saying worn expressions isn't good for my writing juices you know." She frowned at her empty notebook. "Not that anything is good for it at the moment."

"Plumbers don't get plumber's block, and doctors don't get doctor's block; why should writers be the only profession that gives a special name to the difficulty of working, and then expects sympathy for it?" Esme quoted at her, grinning.

Bella grinned back. "Pullman? Touché. I'm glad you're starting to leave the path of trashy paperback romance novels."

Esme was about to reply, but her bladder was becoming too uncomfortable. "Well, anyways, just make sure people are quiet enough to not draw anybody in here. Okay? "

"Yes ma'am"

"Good." Esme rushed out of the room in relief.


Bella closed her notebook at the same time Esme closed the door on the way out. Stupid writer's block. Stupid Pullman. It was easy for him to say. After all, he was the one with exponential talent and fame.

Edward Cullen looked up and made eye contact with Bella. "Does this mean we can go?"

Bella shook her head. "No, but Esm—Ms. Evenson shouldn't be too upset if you talk or text. Just don't be loud enough to bring in, say, the principal."

The look on Edward's face indicated that Bella's words weren't exactly reassuring. Bella remembered what had happened earlier involving him, the whole school was talking about it. Rosalie Hale and Alice Brandon both looked murderous.

Ah, of course he wanted to escape. It must suck to be in his position right now. Then again, it was entirely his fault.

She walked over to an empty chair in the front row, took out a chair from a desk, and scooted it so that she could sit next to her best friend.

"So," she inquired, "was the gaming convention you ditched school over worth the battlefield you're going to be facing with your parents later?"

Jasper made a face. "Don't remind me about that part, please. But yes, it was worth it."

"I will never understand your passion for gaming."

"Well, I will never understand you at all."

"Save it Edward!" Two female voices seethed behind the pair.

"Oooh, listen Jazz." Bella whispered. "Drama is brewing in popularity paradise. And I think I need to watch this tense interaction."

Jasper's eyes glittered. "Don't tell me you're using them for character inspiration? I was under the impression you were too sophisticated to write soap operas."

"Well just because I never had an affinity for that pile of…"

I was twelve!" Jasper snapped defensively.


Esme left the women's restroom in relief. That was a close call. Well, back to detention time. She looked at her watch. There was twenty five minutes left.

"Excuse me." A voice called. Esme turned around to face the man. It was Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

"Yes, Dr. Cullen?" She said.

"Have you seen my son?" He asked. "He was supposed to be home early today, but he's ignoring my phone calls."

"Ah…" Esme began.

Edward was in her honors geometry class in his freshman year. The Cullens were rich, but Edward always dressed without brand labels and drove in an unostentatious car. Not that that was bad, but she hated to see how the man would react to her next words. He didn't seem the type to take it well.

"Well, he's sort of in detention right now."

The doctor blinked. "Are you sure?"

"Positive, Dr. Cullen. I had to administrate it today."

Well, okay, any parent would be livid. Dr. Cullen looked disappointed, but then he shrugged. Wow, that man knew how to keep his cool. Esme was impressed.

"Please, call me Carlisle."

"Okay then, Carlisle." She looked at him. Gah, bad idea. She hated to be shallow, but that man was just too good-looking for his own good.

"If you don't mind me asking, what did Edward do? Wait, I take that back. He'll tell me when he's ready."

Esme couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"So you're waiting for the next lifetime then?"

Carlisle laughed. "I trust my son enough."

Esme was skeptical. "And how do you manage that? Don't get me wrong, I'm one of the insane few who love teenagers, but they are a pretty furtive group of people."


Edward wanted to crawl up and die.

"Al, Rose, I'm really sorry about what I did, really. I know it was a shitty thing to do—"

"Save it Edward!" The girls fumed at him in unison.

Argh! Edward knew he had acted like a jerk this summer, but why was nobody mad at Emmett as well at least? Wasn't it his dares that propelled him to hook up with them simultaneously and lead them both on?

Edward voiced his musings, ignoring the sharp kick from his best buddy.

Alice rolled her eyes. "It's Emmett, what can we expect? We know he's not malicious, just…Emmett. But you, well that's different."

"Well, that's true."

"Then again, youare male after all. Being in Advanced Placement classes doesn't exactly exempt you from it. I should have realized that."

Emmett's jaw dropped. "Wait, when you said 'just…Emmett,' are you implying that I'm…stupid?"

Alice closed her mouth. Rosalie opened hers. "Wow, really?"

Edward faced Alice. "Will you ever be able to forgive me?" He didn't even bother trying to direct his question at Rose. Edward knew that girl could carry a grudge.

"I already have." Alice smiled up at him.

"I'M NOT STUPID!" Emmett shouted.

It was Edward's time to do the kicking. Was Em trying to get them in trouble or something?


Carlisle laughed. "True. Then again, most people have secrets, don't they?"

He gave Esme a wide smile; the kind that gave heart attacks.

"Yes, I suppose you're right."

'Lame, lame, lame.' Esme thought to herself.

Carlisle changed the subject and asked Esme about her teaching. Relieved, Esme gave a thorough explanation.


Well, that would have been more interesting if he actually knew what the hell had happened in the first place. Jasper Whitlock sighed.

As if reading his thoughts, Bella looked at him apologetically. "Oh, sorry. I forgot to fill you in with what happened." She paused for a second. "Ugh, I feel like a gossip. Please don't tell me I'm turning into Jessica Stanley or something."

"Sorry? Since when are you ever sorry for anything?"

"Well, at least I'm not as low as Jessica? Right?"

"Ugh, Jessica. That girl is such a wanna-bee. She's always stalking me and tries to act like she's my BFF or something! She's so annoying!" Rosalie interjected from across the room.

Jasper made eye contact with Bella. This was…awkward.

"Oh, it's okay. I'm aware people are always gossiping about me. Don't be embarrassed."

Edward laughed quietly, almost to himself. "Conceited much, Rose?"

Rose poked him playfully. "Honesty is always the best policy." She giggled.

But then she froze and glared at him. "And I could say the same for you."

Jasper could see the perks of people watching now. Sure he couldn't give a crap about 'character writing' like Bella, but they could be pretty damn amusing. Who could resist watching the all-American bipolar beauty?

"And did you see her outfit today?" Alice snorted, adding to the discussion.

Jasper exchanged a glance with Bella. They were pretty sure their clothes didn't match up with her standards.

Alice noticed the interaction. "Well, it's alright for you two. You guys don't even try. And I could give you guys a makeover if you'd like."

Edward burst into laughter again. This time, Jasper joined him.

"What?" Alice was confused.

When Edward could control his mirth long enough to speak he said "and you accuse males of stupidity. Do you not realize how tactless that sounded? Oh wait, that's a man's area of expertise."

"I'm. Not. Stupid." Emmett persisted.


Carlisle Cullen found Esme enthralling. The way she described her job, the memories she recounted with her students, the way her whole face was alive with pure, unconditional joy…

Esme would be such a great mother.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "So…do you have any children?" He asked.

A flash of an unrecognizable emotion came over Esme's face. Carlisle frowned.

"No, I don't." She smiled. "I'm just an old spinster."

Esme fiddled with her watch. She looked down and cursed.

Carlisle raised his eyebrows.

"You didn't hear anything." She said. "Well, detention is letting off. You could come pick up your son now."

"Nah." He grinned. "I think I'll go home. Like I said, he'll tell me when he's ready."


"Oh, Bella. I ran into an online friend when I was out today."

Bella turned her attention away from the laughing Edward, the angry Rosalie, the pouting Emmett, and the tiny Alice. Heh, and Bella thought it was geeks like her and Jasper who were the weird ones.

"Really, who?"

"His name's Jacob. It's a small world. He apparently goes to the Quileute school."

Bella cocked her head in interest. "Like Maria?"

Maria was Jasper's "ex" who had also attended that school. It was Jasper's idea of an experiment. For a whole month, the two lovers exchanged perverted, disturbing messages to each other. Later, they had exchanged phone numbers and when Jasper called the phone, a deep masculine voice had answered instead of Maria. A guy named Bob. (The generic name always made Bella giggle.) Later it turned out Bob was an online troll and Maria didn't exist at all.

Actually, there's was a lot about that whole situation that confused Bella, but she never wanted to ask.

Jasper had been pretending to be a French, lesbian, stripper, college student named Amelia.

Bob and Jasper still talked to this day. (But without the Maria and Amelia pretense.)

"Nope. But he's a friend."

Something clicked in Bella's mind. "Wait…is his last name Black?"

Jasper nodded. "You know him?"

"Yeah. His dad and mine are really good friends. Haven't seen him in a while. Of course, he does seem to always have other things to do."

"Wow." Jasper said. "Well, anyways we're hanging out this weekend. Are you in?"

"Will Bob be there?"

"With your oddly placed sense of humor in people's names? I think not."


Esme walked into the room looking slightly flustered. Apparantly, everyone had forgotten they were in detention because they all looked at the clock in unison.

"Yes, you may all go." She dismissed them. "Rosalie, Emmett, your phone is on the front desk."

Rosalie tried to cover her hands over her phone. Emmett did the same.

Esme sighed. "Just go then."


"That was a dumb text message to get in trouble for anyway. A forward?" Rose mused as she was leaving the room with her friends.

"Well, that's Emmett for you." Alice said.

"Not stupid. Gah!"


AN: Yeah, I know. There was practically no sparks flying with anyone here, but this story wasn't intended to be a Breakfast Club copy. Also, I have a thing for slow developed romances.