Dynasty Warriors: The Christmas Special 2017
Plot: Christmas has arrived for our DW/SW cast and Gracia has gathered everyone from both franchises and a few guests to celebrate this holiday. There will be laughs, heartbreak, and the rest in the first ever Dynasty Warriors Christmas Special!
Disclaimer: Dynasty Warriors, Samurai Warriors, and all of the representing franchises are not owned by me. They are owned by their respectful owners. That is all.
A/N: Okamiyy, a DW fanfic writer, has suggested I should do a Christmas special like SilentNinja, but even better. So, I'll do that. Also, there will be some appearances of characters from other franchises.
2nd A/N: Some characters may be OOC so I apologize for that. Also, there will be some fourth wall breaking.
3rd A/N: One more thing. It's inspired by Lolsnake9 and Insertmanyfandomshere in terms of Comedy. I love their work. Also, there will be a special appearance from a fanfic writer that I really need to add in as part of what I do. Hehe… I love helping others.
The Christmas Special 2017
Part 1: New Arrivals and Chaos
At the DW/SW household, Gracia invited everyone from Dynasty Warriors, Samurai Warriors, and a few more guests to celebrate Christmas this year. It was also the first Christmas of the newcomers, mainly Cao Xiu, Katsuyori Takeda, and Xin Xianying. This year, she also invited a few people from different worlds, such as Lucina and Chrom from Fire Emblem, Simmons, Carolina, Dylan Andrews and Caboose from Red vs. Blue, Trevor Rogers from Dead Island, and a YouTuber. Mitsuhide wondered why she invited them, but ignored it, knowing that she had a good reason.
"Um, Gracia. Why did you invite a few random people to celebrate Christmas?" Mitushide asked, "We don't even know them."
"Because this year, I want to spice things up a bit!" Gracia happily replied. Mitsuhide couldn't help but chuckle at her statement.
"Hehe. Well, since you're the host this year, we can't complain about it." He continued, "So, who did you invite?"
"Hmm…. Let's see. I've invited Lucina, Chrom, Simmons, Carolina, Dylan, Caboose, Trevor, and Brock." She explained, "That's about it."
"Wait. You invited people from different dimensions?"
"Yes! Since I'm host this year, I can invite anyone!"
"Yeah. You're the host, Gracia. Remember, make sure that you don't mess up like what happened last year."
Gracia shuddered at the thought of it. She vaguely remembered last year's disaster. Last year, Ma Chao was the host and everything went downhill at an instant. Wang Yi and Ma Chao had a heated confrontation that led to an incident between him and her son, Zhao Yue. Yue was in the hospital for a few days so Ma Chao received a charge of attempted murder, and excessive use of violence. She can remember what happened.
WANG YI – He was my son! You killed him!
MA CHAO – I don't care about your son! He's just an idiot that no business fighting me! He suffered the same fate as everyone in your village, who served Cao Cao!
ZHAO YUE – Hey! Leave my mother alone! You basically massacred everyone in my village because of your unhealthy thirst for revenge! I did what I do, protecting what I care and love about from people like you! I would suggest that you should keep your mouth shut!
ZHAO YING – Brother, calm down! Don't blow a fuse!
MA CHAO – Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it?!
GRACIA – Dammit! Ma Chao, don't! Can't we celebrate Christmas without-
MA CHAO – Get out of my way, Gracia! This is none of your business! Stay out of it!
GRACIA – But what about-
MA CHAO – I said stay out of this!
ZHAO YUE – Lady Gracia, it's the best if you don't get involved in this. It's rather personal.
GRACIA – Ok….
ZHAO YUE – Now. Ma Chao, I would- Ah!
ZHAO YING – Brother…..
WANG YI – Son, no. Please…. Don't…
ZHAO YUE – Mother…. Ying…. Alright… Ma Chao, I won't fight you.
MA CHAO – Hehe… that's rather weak considering you took advice from your whore of a mother. (Everyone stared at him in shock.)
ZHAO YUE – Hey, what did you say?
MA CHAO – You heard me! I said your mother is a whore!
ZHAO YUE – Take that back. I dare you.
WANG YI – Yue, please!
ZHAO YUE – Mother, he called you a whore. I won't let that slide. Ma Chao, you better take that-
He gets punched by Ma Chao. Then, Chao lifted Yue up and slammed him into a table. Everyone stared at him in shock as all of the food landed on top of Yue, who groaned in pain. And so begins the chaos….
ZHAO YUN – What the hell?!
EVERYONE ELSE – NO! THE FOOD!
GRACIA – Not again! Chao! What did you do?!
WANG YI – NO! MY SON! SPEAK TO ME!
ZHAO YUE – Mother….. I'm sorry…. I should've done that… So much Turkey…. Ow….
MA CHAO – See? I told you! If you get in my way, I'll cut you down! You hear me, Yue?! (Continues to beat him to a pulp)
ZHAO YING – Hey! Leave him alone! (Pulls him off of her brother)
MA CHAO – You! Get out of my way! (Proceeds to smack Ying, but was stopped by Ma Dai)
MA DAI – I think you've proven your point, cousin. You don't have to beat him up like that.
ZHAO YUN – Alright. That's it! You have officially ruined Christmas! Look at this! All of the food's now wasted because of you!
DENG ZHI – Yeah. Yun's right, Chao. I think it would be best if you just leave. You're not setting a good example to the new generation. Like Zhou Cang for instance. He's preparing to be playable in Warriors All-Stars.
MA CHAO – What?! I can't leave! What about the three right here?! (He pointed to Zhao Yue, Ying and Wang Yi.) They're the ones that started it!
DENG ZHI – But it was you who slammed Yue through a table. Jesus. It's been 5 years since you made Wang Yi's life hell. Why don't you just let it go and enjoy the holidays? Oh. That's right. You can't because you're so up in your ego that you forgot about one thing: You've got no justice.
At this, everyone 'oohed!' at that sick burn. Ma Chao's face turned red with anger.
MA CHAO – You….. Argh, forget it! I'm out! Good night! (And with that, Ma Chao leaves.)
Wang Yi smiled, but instantly stopped when Deng Zhi glared at her.
DENG ZHI – And as for you, Lady Yi. You also play a part of this. What can you accomplish over something that happened in your life 5 years ago? Vengeance? No. I believe that you're just as bad as him by focusing on the past. You need to let go.
WANG YI – But he-
ZHAO YING – Mother, he does have a point. We're here to celebrate Christmas! Come on! Please?
ZHAO YUE – Um… hello….? Ying, you forgot about me…. I'm right here…. Covered in Turkey…. Ow….
DENG ZHI – Like what your daughter says, why can't you relax and enjoy the holidays for once? Alright?
WANG YI – No… I can't… but… if that's what you want, then, I'll try to relax…
DENG ZHI – Good girl.
EVERYONE ELSE – Hooray!
"Apparently, a chicken bone snapped one of his ribs so he ended up in the hospital for a few days." Mitsuhide continued, "That's by far the strangest thing that happened last year."
"Yeah… I guess…"
"Gracia, you don't have to worry about it. Ma Chao's banned this year because of the incident." Mitsuhide said, "He was not happy, though."
"Hehe… Yeah. So, dad. What are you gonna do?" Gracia chuckled
"Hm. Well. Everyone's in the house except the guests so basically, I got nothing to do at this point. The food's been ready, and we got the Christmas presents in the Christmas tree. That was better than the one in 2015, where Lu Xun and Zhu Ran burned the tree with our presents, and also set fire to almost everything in the house Remember that?"
Gracia smiled. She can remember the Christmas party in 2015. Lu Xun and Zhu Ran set fire to the Christmas tree, burning every single present in there.
LU XUN – Let's test this bad boy!
LU MENG – Hey, what are you doing?
ZHU RAN – We're testing out the firework cannon! Made it myself!
He showed him the cannon. It was a big cannon, filled with fireworks.
LU MENG – When did you made that thing?!
ZHU RAN – Ah! At least a few months ago! Lu Xun helped me!
LU XUN – That's right! HAHA!
LU MENG – Well, don't aim it at the presents and the Christmas tree. Ok.
ZHU RAN – Ok! I won't destroy the Christmas tree and the presents!
ZHU ZHI – Son! Where are you?!
ZHU RAN – Oh shit! Dad! Xun, hide me!
LU XUN – What?! No! I'm not gonna hide you! There's not a single hiding spot in the house!
In a state of panic, Zhu Ran desperately ran around, trying to find somewhere to hide, but he tripped on a spare firework and landed on top of the cannon. Somehow, the cannon managed to activate.
LU MENG – Zhu Ran!
LU XUN – Uh oh…. Ran, we need to run.
ZHU RAN – What….. Oh no. Um….. Hehe…. RUN!
All three men ran away, screaming, as the cannon set off and fired everywhere. The cannon targeted the food, the decorations, everything. When the cannon stopped firing, the three looked. Everything was just a charred, burnt mess. The presents, food, decorations, and even the tree. It's all destroyed.
ZHU RAN – Wow! It was a success!
LU XUN – Yeah! It was! Now we have the power to eliminate every tree there is! HAHA!
LU MENG – Why are you two so happy about it?!
ZHU RAN & LU XUN – Because the cannon worked! It destroyed everything!
LU MENG – Hmm… I gotta admit- Hang on. Why did it destroy everything?!
ZHU RAN – Oh. Hehe…. About that.
LU XUN – Lu Meng, don't get mad at us.
LU MENG – What? What did you do?
LU XUN & ZHU RAN – We set it on auto lock, so it can target everywhere.
LU MENG – WHAT?! You idiots! You completely fucked up Christmas!
ZHU RAN – Hey! Don't look at me like that! It was Xun's idea!
LU XUN – What?! It was you who added the auto lock feature!
ZHU RAN – Which you agree on.
LU XUN – Oh shit… Yeah. It is also my fault
LU MENG – It doesn't matter! Look at what you two did! You destroyed everything!
ZHU RAN – Hey! You play a part on this as well, old man! You could've prevented us from-
LU XUN – Ran, what he's trying to say is that all of us are at fault here.
LU MENG – I didn't say that!
ZHU RAN – Well, it sort of sounds like you did. Hehe
Zhu Zhi comes in, to their own shock.
ZHU ZHI – Son, I need to- What the hell's going on here?! Why is everything black?!
ZHU RAN – Hi, dad! Um, I can explain!
ZHU ZHI – You better have a good explanation about this, son. A very good explanation because if you don't, guess what happens?
ZHU RAN – What?
ZHU ZHI – I'll get rid of all of your fireworks.
LU XUN – Wait! Master Zhu Zhi, your son tripped on someone's cannon, which activated and burned everything.
ZHU ZHI – Is that so?
ZHU RAN – Yes! It is!
ZHU ZHI – Ok. So, who owns that cannon? (He points to the cannon, which is currently inactive.)
LU XUN – Um…. It's Cao Pi's.
ZHU ZHI – Cao Pi…hmm…. Excuse me. I'll have a chat with Cao Pi.
"Hehe. They eventually found out and both Lu Xun and Zhu Ran were forbidden to eat for three days." Gracia smiled, "Haha! That's why I love Christmas! You'll never know what lies ahead, father!"
"Heh. Good point. Now, Gracia. Shall we go inside?"
"Ok! Let's get this party started!"
Gracia opened the door. The table was filled with food, lots and lots of food. Everyone except the guests have gathered around the table, waiting for the host. With Mitsuhide following her, she sat down at the front.
"Ok! Thank you all for coming! This year, I'm the host so I don't want any bad blood between everyone, ok? Especially you, Wang Yi! Ok." She explained. She pointed to Wang Yi, who cowered under the table.
"Now, as your host for this year's annual Christmas dinner party, I have a special announcement: There will be some guests coming over to join us for the celebration!" She continued, "Ah! And here they are!"
Just as she said it, a group of eight people arrived. To their own surprise, it was a random group of people that she invited to celebrate.
"Ooh! Look at that!" A man with blond hair shouted, "It's Christmas! I love Christmas!"
"Caboose, you don't have to yell at my ear like that!" A man with a cybernetic eye groaned, "God, why did Wash chose you to go for Christmas with the three of us?!"
"Simmons, lighten up. I'm sure we're here to join a bunch of random people for Christmas." A female with brunette hair, emerald green eyes, and a delicate complexion said, "Besides, Caboose loves it."
"This is rather intriguing." A female with short black hair, and slanted eyes said, "Hmm… I've never seen a house this big before."
"Father, what is this?" A female with blue hair asked
"Hmm. It's a house." A man with, ironically enough, blue hair replied, "I think we're in the right place."
"Wow…. It's amazing…." A man with a beard muttered in amazement, "It's so beautiful."
"Hehe. This is the first time I'm celebrating Christmas with a bunch of random people. Hehe. This should be fun." The last guest, with a Mohawk, said.
Soon, they all sat down on their respective seats.
"Ah! Lucina, Chrom, Simmons, Carolina, Dylan, Caboose, Trevor, and Brock!" Gracia shouted, "Welcome!"
"Oh! Hello!" Caboose greeted
"Same here for Caboose. Hello, everyone." Simmons greeted
"Sup. I guess." Carolina greeted.
"Hello. I'm Dylan Andrews from Interstellar Daily." Dylan introduced herself. Most of them were surprised over her first name.
"Good evening to you." Lucina introduced herself
"Hey. I'm Chrom." Chrom greeted
"Hi! Names Trevor." Trevor introduced himself
"Oh. Hello. I'm Brock or Moo. Call me whatever you like." Brock or Moo said
"Ok! Now that introductions are out of the way, let's eat!" Gracia finished. And so begins the feast. With no interruptions.
Everyone celebrated Christmas like its Thanksgiving. There was laughter, tears, maybe even a few friendships being made. Yeah. It's like a Christmas miracle.
After the feast, Gracia allowed everyone to have fun. Of course, by having fun, she meant by acting like complete idiots. Hehe… Oh! Sorry! I'm getting off track!
Ok. Now, back to the party!
"Alright! Now that everyone's finished, I'll let you go and do whatever you want tonight!" Gracia announced, "So, have fun!"
"Gracia, are you sure that's wise?" Mitsuhide asked, worried, "What happens if history repeats itself?"
"Father, don't worry." Gracia assured, "I've come prepared."
"Hehe. For my daughter, you really plan this through."
"Yeah! It's more like a strategy!"
Mitsuhide couldn't help but smile. She's growing up. I'm proud of her. He thought to himself.
"Now, let's get drunk like crazy!" Gracia yelled. Immediately, his smile faded. Well… almost. He thought again
Liu Shan, Xingcai, Liu Feng, Guan Suo, Bao Sanniang, Zhang Bao, Liao Hua, and Zhuge Zhan from Shu were still on the table, talking to each other. Trevor was with them. Apparently, Shan is one of the few that are still eating.
"Liu Shan, take your time. Don't rush." Xingcai encouraged, "Ok? Don't choke on your food." Everyone else groaned except Trevor.
"Xingcai, I know that you're the protector of my brother, but do you really have to treat him like a child?" Liu Feng asked, irritated, "It's been 6 years since he debuted and you're treating him like he's your child or something."
"He's our lord, Liu Feng. I'm always here to protect him. No matter the cost." Xingcai stated
"Xingcai, you don't have to help me. I can do this myself." Liu Shan said, "Besides, shouldn't it be the other way around? Like I should be protecting you?"
"Don't say things like that. You're my only priority."
"Sis, why do you say things like that?" Zhang Bao groaned, "That sounds completely wrong when you said that."
"Um, what's going on? I'm rather confused." Trevor asked, "Why is she acting like a bodyguard?" He pointed to Xingcai.
"It's because I-"
"Wait…. You sound like father." Liu Shan interrupted, "I've just realized that now."
"Yeah. He is. Trevor, you do sound like Liu Shan's father." Guan Suo agreed
"I am? Really?"
"Yeah. You kind of do."
"Holy shit…. An Australian Liu Bei." Bao Sanniang smiled, "That's awesome." She then looked at the reader- oh shit, she's looking at me.
"Both Trevor and Liu Bei have the same voice. That's rather strange, right?" She said.
"Who are you talking to?" Guan Suo asked, confused.
"Dave-kun." She replied
"Dave-kun?"
BAO! You don't have fourth wall breaking powers!
"I do!" Bao defended, "You just don't know it yet!"
BAO, I swear to god, don't break the fourth wall! Only Deadpool can do that! Not you!
"Well, I can be better than Deadpool!"
(Sigh) That's it. I'm removing your fourth wall breaking powers in 3. 2. 1. NOW!
"WAIT! Don't do that! Aw! Dammit! Dave-kun."
"Bao, what the hell just happened?" Suo asked her, surprised, "Who's this Dave-kun? And why were you talking like that?"
"Don't know. It just happened."
Suo couldn't help but sigh in irritation. Ok. Let's look at another group. We have Wang Yi, Zhao Yue, Oichi, and Brock, aka Moo.
"So, hello. I'm Brock, aka Moo." Brock introduced himself.
"Hi, Brock." Zhao Yue waved, "I'm Zhao Yue."
"I'm Oichi." Oichi introduced herself
"The names Wang Yi." Wang Yi introduced herself
"Hehe. So…. Um…. This is the first I'm with other people besides my friends and wife."
"Wait, you have a wife?" Wang Yi asked.
"Yeah. We're married and have one kid."
"Ah… It looks like all of us are parents." Oichi smiled, "Well, I give my condolences to you, Brock."
"Haha! Thanks! You know, it's rather weird that despite from different worlds, we do have children we need to look after. Hehe."
"You got that right, Brock. But that only counts for you, Oichi and my mother." Yue chuckled
"Wait, are you Wang Yi's son?"
"Yep. The one and only. I also have a sister, but she went sick so she stayed home." Yue replied, smiling, "It's also a good thing that Ma Chao's not here. He would've been furious."
"Ma Chao? Who's he?"
At this, all three of them looked down. "Hey, what's wrong?"
"Brock, it's something extremely personal for all of us, but you see, my mother lost everything."
"W-What?" Brock gasped, "Lost everything?!"
"Yep. All because he basically destroyed everything that my mother owned: our village, her husband, and one of her sons." Yue explained, "As revenge. God, I really hate him after what he did." Brock couldn't believe it.
"What were his motives…?"
"Chao's father was killed by Cao Cao, so he ends up ordering a small group of troops to massacre everyone from our village… It was horrible…. Really horrible… Brock, do you understand, now?" Oichi explained, "She lost everything because of Ma Chao and his obsession with killing Cao Cao."
"Oh…. Damn… that's… wow. I'm…. I don't even know what to say." Brock sighed, "That's rather deep. Wang Yi, I give my condolences to you."
"T-Thank you, Brock." Wang Yi thanked, "I-I really appreciate it."
"No probs. We parents have to stick together. Hehe." Brock smiled. Wang Yi couldn't help but smile. He's so nice and positive. He also has a bubbly personality as well. Yi thought to herself
"So, Brock. What are you gonna do?" Oichi asked him.
"Well, since Gracia invited me out of my friends, I think I should stay for a little while longer." Brock replied, "So. You have a child?"
"I do. Um…. Noriyuki, can you come here for a second?"
"Sure, mother."
On cue, her son, Noriyuki, walked up to the group. Brock stared at him in shock.
"H-He looks like me!" Brock sputtered, "O-Oichi, y-y-your son! H-He-"
"Hehe. It's alright, Brock. I know what you mean. You're talking about why my son looks like you. Well… it's because of genetics. He was born that way." Oichi giggled, "Isn't it, Noriyuki?"
"Yes, mother. Brock, don't worry about me looking like you." Noriyuki agreed.
"I should, but still, this is creepy. It's almost as if you're my clone." He stared at Noriyuki with curiosity. Noriyuki smiled. "Well, you can call this genetics because I-"
"Ah! Noriyuki, my friend!" Naomasa shouted, "It's so nice to see you!"
"Eh? Oh! Hello, Naomasa." Noriyuki greeted, "Brock, this is Naomasa Li, a good friend of mine. Naomasa, this is Brock, aka Moo Snuckel."
Naomasa stared at Brock, then at Noriyuki, then at Brock, and so on and so on until….. He opened his mouth in shock.
"N-N-N-Noriyuki! H-He looks like y-y-you!" Naomasa exclaimed, "L-Like f-f-for real, man!"
"Yeah… that's the same as Brock when he found out about it." Noriyuki sighed, "Naomasa, remember the time when I said to you about appearances? Well, you've got an example."
"No shit…. Still, it's rather awesome that we have a YouTuber here for Christmas."
"Wait, you know about him?"
"Of course! He's Moo! He's part of Vanoss and Friends!"
"How did you-"Brock tried to ask
"I can tell by your clothes, man. I play GTA 5 and such."
Noriyuki couldn't help but smile. "Naomasa, you are a gaming warrior. And to think that you met Brock on one of the games that you've played. I'm… actually surprised. Now I know why you mistook me as Moo."
"He calls you my username?" Brock asked, trying not to laugh…. With little success. He ended up laughing.
"Hey! Don't laugh!" Noriyuki growled
"What? I can't help it!" Brock laughed, "He calls you Moo! HAHA!"
Noriyuki scowled, but maintained his cool, in fear of lashing out in front of his mother.
"Hehe. As what a man would say: Appearances can be deceiving." Noriyuki said
Meanwhile, the three members of the Blood Gulch Crew, and three of Guan Yu's children were in a conversation.
"I bet you thirty bucks that either Carolina or Caboose can beat Yinping in arm wrestling." Simmons offered, "They are stronger than your sister."
"What?! There's no way that you can win!" Guan Ping exclaimed, "Yinping's by far stronger than the both of you combined!"
"Ping, you do bring out a good point." Guan Xing said, "From what-"
"Ok! I accept your challenge!" Yinping interrupted. Xing had to pull her away from them.
"Yinping, are you nuts? Do we even have that kind of money?" Xing hissed
"Relax. I've got it covered." She pulls out a huge wad of cash. (Does that exist in the Three Kingdoms? Um. No. It's a sort of parody so eat it)
"Where did you get that kind of cash from, Yinping?" Guan Xing asked, "Don't tell me you stole it from father's money box."
"What? No! It's the money I've earned from facing off against AJ Styles at SummerSlam as part of his US OPEN challenge!" Yinping replied, "Remember that?"
"Oh. Yeah. I remember. How much is in that lot, anyway?"
"Hmm… Let's see. Oh! $20'000!"
"W-What?! You've earned $20K for one match?! Against AJ Styles?!"
"Well, yeah. He was generous enough to pay me back. Don't get you knickers in a twist, bro. I'm not gonna use it all. It's for a special occasion." She puts the money back in her pocket.
"Hey! Are you gonna do it or what?!" Carolina shouted, "Or is the Daughter of the God of War too much of a coward?"
"Alright! Hold on!" She walks up to them and sits down, extending her arm out. Carolina stared at her arm, and noticed a tattoo on it. Oddly enough, it was a Tatau similar to the one from Rook Island. (If you ask me if it's Jason's tattoo, it's not. It's similar to it.)
"Yinping, where did you get that tattoo?" Carolina asked, curious.
"I've got while I was out adventuring in the Pacific! Ended up getting one of these before I moved here!" Yinping replied happily, "Now, are you gonna do this or what?"
"Uh, yeah." Carolina extended her arm and locked with Yinping's hand.
"Ok, I don't want any dirty tactics so may the best woman win. 3. 2. 1. GO!" Simmons announced
Both women engaged in an arm wrestling match. It took all of Carolina's efforts to put her down, but due to Yinping's strength, she barely even managed to push her a quarter of the way down.
"Dammit…. How strong are you?! COME ON!" Carolina groaned
"Hehe! This is too easy! Oh! Also, I'm sorry for what I'm gonna do next!" Yinping exclaimed.
"Wait, wh-"
SMASH!
Yinping grabbed Carolina and slammed her through a table, to the group's shock. Luckily, Gracia didn't see that. If she did, Yinping would be punished.
"HOLY SHIT!" Simmons screamed, "Carolina, are you ok?!"
"What the hell?!" Xing exclaimed, "Yinping! Why did you do that?!"
"Oh! Hehe! Sorry! I didn't know my true strength!" Yinping laughed nervously.
"Sis!" Ping shouted, "That was a good move, but you put a lot of force into it! Maybe you should lower your strength a little bit."
"Don't support her, you fucking idiot!" Xing growled, "You're making it worse!"
"Oh! Is it my turn?" Caboose asked, oblivious to the events. He then pointed at Carolina. "I think Carolina's down."
"No shit, Caboose." Simmons groaned, "Carolina, are you ok?"
"Ow…. Yinping, where did you get that strength from? It's almost at the level of Caboose." Carolina said.
"Oh! Well! Um…. I trained myself to be strong like my brothers!" Yinping explained, "Or even surpass my father!"
"Hehe. Well, you're strong. I'll give you credit, but are you capable of beating Caboose?"
"How strong is he, anyway?" Xing asked, pointing at Caboose
"Well, it goes like this: He was possibly born with that. I don't know the cause of it, but after being with them, I could say that Caboose is god's way of compensating." Carolina replied, "That and he is capable of surviving in increased gravity."
"W-What? Gravity? How is he-"
"Don't know, but don't care. We just assumed it was genetics at first. However, over time, we just said: Fuck it, and ignore the fact that Caboose is stronger by default."
Ping couldn't help but laugh. Carolina then glared at Ping, who smiled and poked his tongue in response. Xing had no choice but to hit him, and by hitting him, he meant with a paper fan.
"Ow!" Ping winced, "Dude, what the hell?!"
"Sorry, but you're getting annoying." Xing said, "Besides, it's either you getting hit by me or Carolina beating you into a pulp. Which would you prefer?"
"(Gulp) N-N-None of them!" Ping stammered
"So! Caboose, do you want to face off against me in arm wrestling?" Yinping asked, happily.
"Um….. Do I have to because I don't want to hurt a nice lady such as yourself?" Caboose replied innocently. Yinping's face went red hot at an instant.
"Caboose, she wants you in an arm wrestling match." Simmons sighed, "Also, can you take off your helmet, please? We're inside."
"Oh! Ok."
Caboose removed his helmet…. And the three Guan siblings were actually shocked at his appearance. He looked slightly younger than them combined. He had short dark blonde hair and sharp, slanted dark blue eyes.
Again, Yinping blushed at the sight of him. How is he that cute? Yinping thought to herself
"Oh! Hello!" Caboose waved happily.
"H-Hi!" Yinping stammered.
"Carolina, how old is Caboose, anyway?" Xing asked, "He looks younger than all of us."
"Honestly, I have no idea. Simmons, how old is Caboose?"
"Um, at least in his late 20's." Simmons answered, "Possibly 25 or 26."
"25? Wow. I'm shocked at that. Caboose is older than all of us, but he looks like he's 15 or some bullshit." Ping added, "It's even similar to the Liu Bei and Sun Quan Bishonen controversy."
"The what?" Carolina asked
"Ok. In 2007, we were waiting in line for our makeovers for Dynasty Warriors 6. I was one of them that received a makeover that somehow suited my tastes, but as for Liu Bei and Sun Quan, they ended up becoming Bishonen themselves." Ping explained.
"How did they-"
"The makeup lady thought it was a good idea to make them younger. Turns out it wasn't." Xing continued.
"That doesn't seem possible. I mean, how can someone change their facial appearance to make them younger?"
"It's rather complicated. That makeup lady is completely insane with her designs. Look at what me and a few others have turned out to be: Bishonen like Caboose over here."
"Hello!" Caboose waved. Xing face palmed to himself. "See? His looks are already charming Yinping right now."
"W-What? I-I'm not!" Yinping stammered, blushing, "Y-You got it all wrong!"
"Yeah. You're right. Yinping, good luck at the wedding." Carolina joked
"H-Hey!" Yinping pouted
While Yinping covered her face in embarrassment, Dylan, Lucina, Chrom, Ma Dai, Pang De, Sima Zhao, Sima Yan, Magoichi Saika, Kai, Ina, Kagetora Uesugi, Harukata Sue, Aya, and Yukimura Sanada were playing a game of Golf It. (Don't ask me why I added it in. It's just for Comedy) Lucina was already in the lead with Kagetora catching up behind. As predicted, Kai is in last place, and is in the verge of a full blown meltdown.
"DAMMIT!" Kai yelled, "HOW DID THAT NOT GET IN?! THAT'S SOME BULLSHIT!"
"Kai, maybe if you just release it at the right time, you would've gotten last place." Sima Zhao laughed, "I feel sorry for you."
"SHUT UP! YOU'RE ONE TO TALK! YOU'RE IN SECOND TO LAST PLACE!"
"Hey, calm down. It's just a game." He continued, "Besides, this is the last hole."
"Still, how is Lucina in the lead?! She even got a 7 in three consecutive holes!"
"She managed to get a hole in one in seventeen holes so far, which I believe is bullshit." Ma Dai explained, "How did she-"
"She's my daughter." Chrom interrupted, "It's because she was born this way."
"Ohoho… Same for Kagetora." Aya giggled, "He's catching up…. Good work, my dear Kagetora."
"Oh! Thanks, mother!" Kagetora smiled, just before he pulled the trigger, the ball going straight for the hole.
"Yes! It's tied!" Kagetora cheered, "Take that, Lucina!"
"Hmph. It's not over yet." Lucina smiled, "Let's go!" She pressed the button, and the ball was sent flying, bouncing over a few planks, and into the hole, to everyone's shock.
"Hah! My fate has been sealed!" Lucina cheered in victory, "I'm the victor of this game!"
"Wow. Good game, Lucina." Kagetora praised, "Even you surprised me with your skills."
RESULTS
1st: Lucina
2nd: Kagetora Uesugi
3rd: Ina
4th: Magoichi Saika
5th: Sima Yan
6th: Harukata Sue
7th: Ma Dai
8th: Aya
9th: Sima Zhao
10th: Kai
"I hate this game!" Kai complained, "That's it! I'm out! I'm going to get a drink!" Kai stormed off in a bitter mood. Everyone can't help but laugh at her own misfortune.
"I'm confused. What just happened?" Dylan asked
"Lucina performed a major victory into the hole. Don't know why, but it's rather unfair." Yukimura replied, "Besides, it's your turn. Want to give it a try?"
"Hehe. Ok. Just this one game."
Going back to the throne, Gracia couldn't help but smile. Everything's going well so far.
"Hehe… This is what I'm talking about." Gracia smiled, "Everyone's having a good team except that table. Poor table."
She then turned to look at me- Oh fuck. Not again.
"So. When is our special guest coming, David?" Gracia asked
Hey! You're not Deadpool! Where the fuck did you get his powers?!
"Um, you accidentally gave it to me after you stole it from Bao Sanniang."
Shit…. Well, at least you know how to deal with them like what Deadpool usually does except when he fucking spoils everything.
"For once, I agree with you." Gracia chuckled, "Well. I think it's time to wrap this up for now. Don't you agree?"
Yeah. Well, that is it for Part 1 of the Dynasty Warriors Christmas Special! Don't forget to tune in to Part 2 where we reveal our special guest. I'll give you a hint: She is someone that needs to come back to what we do best!
To Be Continued
Part 2 – Our Special Guest and the End of the Line!
Well, thank fuck! Part 1 is over! After a few days, it is now over… for now!
Now, here's the Easter Eggs for Part 1
1 – Trevor Rogers in Dead Island Riptide is voiced by none other than the voice of Liu Bei and Guan Yu, Dave B. Mitchell. He is also the announcer for Marvel vs. Capcom Infinite, which I would think he could've done a better job at it.
2 – Liu Bei and Sun Quan received an unnecessary re-design in Dynasty Warriors 6, making them Bishonen. Honestly, that was a major disappointment, but hey, at least Liu Bei's (Probably) getting his helmet and beard back. I don't know about Sun Quan, though
3 – Moo Snuckel, or Brock, is actually a parent, the first father in the Vanoss and Friend's crew (Don't hate me for that). He has a daughter in September 2017. I don't know who his daughter name is, unfortunately, but congrats to Moo for becoming a parent. I'm proud of you!
4 – While I was playing as Liu Shan in Warriors Orochi 3, I noticed about his conversations with Xingcai about protection or something like that. That is why I decided to write them like that.
5 – I don't actually know how old Caboose is nor what he looks like. However, while I was reading fanfics, (I'm not stealing their ideas) I noticed that he looks younger than his official age so as a result, I made him similar to Yuuji Kazami from The Fruit of Grisaia.
6 – Carolina is 34 or 35 years old as of the latest season of Red vs. Blue. She was 29 during Project Freelancer. It was all confirmed in the Red vs. Blue Fan Guide.
7 – Caboose can walk through gravity without getting killed. It was all proven in Red vs. Blue Season 13.
Ok. Don't forget to look out for Part 2, where a special guest from the DW fanfic community will make an appearance! Stay Tuned!
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