"Mom. God you have no idea what I have to go through every single day because of her."
"Then why don't you try to fill me in then honey,"mom responded while flicking her dark brown hair behind her ear.
"Because you are a dumb slut who doesn't even love me!" I yelled.
"Why on earth would you think that Jenna? I love you more than you will ever know!" she sarcastically resoned with me.
"UGH! I HATE YOU! JUST GO AWAY!" I furiously screamed. I think at this point she had given up trying to get me to calm down because she just sat at the foot of my bed. Eventually after about five minutes she got up gave me an apolegetic look -almost a glare- and left, slamming the door behind her. I fell to the floor crying and watched as my mother left with my (evil) step sisters and swore at them under my breath. Little did I know that this was going to be the last time that I was ever going to see any of them again.
So I guess you could say I was homeless. I kind of had this whole Cinderella Story thing going on. My "mom" Michelle married my dad when I was three and brought along her two demon daughters. My dad was my best friend in the world. Until one day about 3 years ago when I was 14. I remember that horrible day like it was yesterday.
I had gotten called out of Class at 1:53 and found out that my dad, former police officer in Seattle, was shot on the job. He had died on the scene. I never talk about that day to anyone. Not even any of the 6 therapists would get me to explain "how I felt about that". My Step-mom had always told me to call her mom. Even though I knew she hated me and would have done anything to be rid of me. But she was my only family. I was always treated differently. And before you ask, no, I have not ever had to sweep out a chimney or scrub the toilets with a toothbrush. She just always seemed to be yelling and pitying me about everything. I hate to be pityied. People who are pityied are helpless and always crying about something or other.
But I was not like that. I had built up this wall that nobody had seemed to be able to get to come down. I was a hard, cold, bitch to put it simply. But even though nobody had ever gotten that wall down I still knew what love and compassion was. I had never experienced it, but I knew what it was. My step-mom had loved her own daughters and I could see that. It had been nice in a weid way to see that. Although it had made me insanely jealous, I still liked having those feelings around so I wouldn't lose track of them forever.
Cinderella and I had a lot of similarities but there was one thing I will never have. A happy ending. Cinderella ended up with Prince Charming because the slipper fit. I will never have a Prince like her. Nobody in their right mind would want to be with a cold, hard, screwed up girl like me. And here I am now. Sitting in an alley just counting the days until life gets better. It probably never will.
T
his is it for me. Stuck here forever. Cold, tired, and eternally hurting.
