Soli Deo gloria
DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Hunger Games. Or the song by which this is inspired by. This just sort of rolled around after being inspired by a song that makes me cry every single time I listen to it. But Fanfiction won't let me post the name because of copyright infringement. Oi.
It's an AU, by the way. Modern day.
Katniss didn't care about her birthday. I mean, she knew that it meant another year older, but she never cared for the party Prim wanted her to have. She didn't care about the presents, the cake, the ice cream, the decorations. But Prim managed to make a party with her mom, and people came. They actually came. The drunk Haymitch and the quiet Madge and sweet Delly Cartwright and stupidly hot Finnick with his girlfriend Annie and the snarky Johanna, who trailed behind Katniss a lot during the party.
Katniss didn't feel like joining in. She just wanted to stand away and watch Prim play with Posy, Vick and Rory with their older brother Gale in their kitchen, where they could both laugh and enjoy themselves.
But Gale . . . he didn't show up. He had said he would come. But he didn't show up.
People came up to Katniss, wished her happy birthday, asked her where her friend was. But she didn't know. She could only shake her head, try to tell herself and everyone around her that he was going to come, he'd arrive soon. But he didn't, and she marched to the bathroom and took a good look at herself in the mirror, and she didn't cry. She wasn't going to let herself. But Katniss . . . she wasn't one to dress up, but she had put on her blue dress, her party one, and was wearing a little makeup, and as she gripped the sink counter, she asked herself why he wasn't there.
And Johanna banged at the door, calling for her. "Katniss, get out of there. Come on, it's your birthday. There's cake and stuff, let's go."
Katniss took a deep breath, took a long look at herself in the mirror. Dark hair pinned away in a braid at her back, and grey eyes stared at her. And she whispered, "Why?"
And then she went out stone-faced and sat down and became oblivious to the people cheering around her. The cake was set in front of her, and her eyes took in the people, but they were barely there.
She hadn't wanted a party.
But she blew out the candles, and she opened the presents, and she barely noticed the look of concern from Peeta Mellark, who had been invited by Prim.
Her stony countenance seemed to go generally unnoticed. Even Haymitch, who was dead drunk but usually always watching her, seemed unaware. Nobody seemed to notice that she was constantly looking at the door, wishing he'd just show up.
And when the people finally left, she leaned against the front door as her mother wished Peeta a good night before turning to try to clean the dishes, leaving just Katniss, who was looking distantly away outside at her scrabbly backyard, her finger winding around the end of her braid, and Peeta, who looked like he was swallowing back words as he watched her.
"Katniss," she finally heard, and she turned to look at him with dead eyes.
He reached his hand out, gulping back something else. Maybe words. "Happy birthday."
She doesn't take his hand, so he just dropped it and said, "Are you okay?"
"He didn't show up," Katniss said, her voice low.
Peeta looked at her for a long moment. "Gale?"
"Yeah," Katniss said. "He said he was going to show up. But he didn't." She didn't know why she was saying this to Peeta Mellark of all people, but she had to say it, acknowledge it out to the air.
"I'm sorry," Peeta said, but Katniss barely heard him. He sighed and said, "Good night, Katniss," and he walked down the steps and headed down to the better part of town where he worked at his parents' bakery.
Katniss looked past him, hoping to see Gale coming around, come hurrying and apologizing, but there was no one except for the blond boy walking away from her.
She went back into the house, thanked her mother for the party; her mother looked concerned as she offered Katniss the cake she didn't eat.
"I'm not hungry," Katniss said, and she headed to her room where she sat in the dark on her bed, clutching a pillow to herself and crying silent tears that shook her. At some point she felt Prim's hand on her back, trying to sooth her.
"I'm sorry," Prim said.
Katniss let in a scratchy breath and sighed, gulping down her tears to say in a clear voice, "So am I."
Gale probably called the next day—but Katniss didn't answer him.
You can probably guess the song. I know you can. I believe in you all. Good night!
