Written for the Fusge Humiliation Contest, by Lady Phoenix Fire Rose.
"And, really," piped Umbridge, in her usual voice. "Look at the state of this castle. All run down, drab, boring. Make note of that, for when Dumbledore is kicked out."
"Ah, I see what you're going at, madam," a wizard behind her said. Actually, a very important wizard, followed by several bodyguards. Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic. "Is this the only reason for your call to me today?"
"No. I have something way more important to tell you about," Professor Umbridge said, not breaking her stride through the hallways. The duo and Fudge's bodyguards headed up a couple flights of stairs. "And the stairs! They move! How inconvenient is that!"
While Umbridge continued her long, pointless rant about how many spders were in this school, Fudge's eyes kept wandering from portrait to portrait olong the castle walls. "Are you even listening?" Umbridge turned, with an annoyed look on her face.
"Oh, oh, yes, we need to do something about the spiders," Fudge said, pretending to agree. But it must've been real enough for Umbridge to believe him. The lady turned and kept walking, stepping over a cobweb.
"Ew!" Umbridge shrieked, as she saw the bits of old spiderweb on her feet. "Gross. I'll need an immediate pest extermination force put together, Fudge, make note of that."
After walking and several minutes of pointless complaining about bugs, Umbridge came to a stop by her door. "And THIS is what I'm talking about!" she picked something off the ground for Fudge to see.
Umbridge clasped a bright green piece of paper in her hand. A flyer. Those were normal in the school. But this one had the bright green letters D.A. on it. Underneath it, reads, Dumbledore's Army.
"Dumbledore's Army!" Umbridge yelled. "This is why I called you, Minister, because these teenagers are making an army, under Dumbledore's command. I found this flyer today, and messaged you immediately."
"Oh my," Fudge said, lost for words. Terrible, an army led by Dumbledore could bring down the Ministry. And his job. "What else does it say?"
"They meet in corridor seven, floor three, tonight at seven o'clock.," Umbridge proclaimed, proud of herself. She had just saved the Ministry.
"Well, we'll have to stop them, right?" Fudge said, pointing to his bodyguards. "I'll accompany you tonight, to stop these teenagers."
Down the hallway, George Weasley snickered.
"Corridor seven," Umbridge said in a whispered tone. "We got these twerps." Umbridge pulled her wand out, along with Fudge and his cronies. There was a door, appearing just out of nowhere. Right down the hall from them.
"Let's go," Fudge said to his bodyguards and Aurors. The group of six started to inch it's way closer and closer to the door, ready to bust in. Or shoot a Stunning Spell at any moment.
Umbridge all of a sudden shrieked. "What!" Fudge yelled with annoyance.
"Spiderwebs," the teacher muttered.
The door was flung open, blasted off it's hinges by Umbridge's spell. The door clattered against the statue of a knight, who then started to complain loudly.
"SHUT UP!" yelled Umbridge, losing her normal sweet, innocent tone. The statue stopped talking, and quivered with fear. "That's another problem with this school," Umbridge said to Fudge, "All the statues have a mind of their own."
The doorway was wide open, and the room, well, no one could see into it. All that was visible was purple haze. The fog in the room slowly drifted out into the corridor, making it harder and harder to see into the room. Finally, all the wizards outside the door lit up their wands with a cry of 'Lumos!'
Proffesor Umbridge ventured into the dark room first. Before anyone else could progress, she all of a sudden vanished before Fudge's eyes.
"What?" He exclaimed.
Fudge leaned his head into the room, and look up. He saw nothing. However, that may have been because of the fog, maybe not, who knows? This is in third person, right?
"Come on," Fudge said, motioning for the rest of the guards to come in. The four guards came in in an orderly fashion, wands at the ready, to strike at anything. The lights illuminated enough for the guards to see Fudge lifted by one ankle into the air, by some unknown force.
"Get him!" one yelled, others tried to dispel the fog with some weather spells. The fog must've been unnatural, the spells didn't work on it.
A shriek came from above, it was Umbridge. "NOT SPIDERS! NOOOOOOOO!" The sound of hissing was sent through the air, like spray paint was being sprayed.
Then, the laughter. Some teenage laughter echoed throughout the room. The fog cleared up, and the guards could see Professor Umbridge and Cornilius Fudge dangling from their ankles, held in the air by a spell. There was a balcony in the room, and about 30 teenage students were laughing. One of them held a can of spray paint, and was shooting some type of string at the two captives hanging in the air.
"I told you the wizard weasley string would work!" yelled the taller, red-haired teenager.
" I invented it!" cried one that looked exactly like the first.
"No, it was my idea!" the first speaker tackled the twin of his, getting into a fistfight. Another red-haired boy was still spraying the wizard string on the two teachers. Umbridge was covered in pink and yellow ribbons, while screaming, "SPIDERS!"
Another student saw the guards, who were standing there, dumbfounded. One of them started to laugh at Umbridge. But the students shot red jets of light, taking the guards and slamming them against the wall of the room. A flood of people left the room, laughing ecstatically, at the prank they pulled.
Umbridge fell to the floor, and Fudge followed. Everyone was gone. Fudge broke both of his legs in the fall, and was transported to the Hospital Wing, by one of his guards. Umbridge, over winter break, she stayed seven and a half days in St. Mungo's with Arachnaphobia in the worst case.
The students were never caught. In fact, when they returned back to their classes, and the teachers asked them where they were, the students told the truth. And the teachers laughed. Even Snape, who saw this as his opportunity to snag the Defense Against the Dark Arts class, applauded. Only because one Slytherin student helped out.
