A/N: I do not, nor do I claim to own anything in this fic. Tolkein and New Line rock.

All names have been changed to protect the innocent writer from the dumb person in this fic. background events are sadly true.

Sasha-Real person...read FotR after seeing it to see if the film would be good as a film and not disapoint me when Tom didn't come singing down the road.
Joey-Real person...read the books JUST in time to see FotR
Ethan-Real person...I spent the ride home justifying Pippin and Merrys being in the movie
Beth-Real person...HATES fantasy films and really did get suckered into seeing FotR.
Mallory-Real person...Hasn't seen FotR but LOVES Harry Potter
Kevin-Real person...real dumb
Alex, Tessa, and Dinah...Add-ins for comic potential

And apparently it needs more of a back story. My friend "Ethan" and his friend "Kevin" had a little issue in his blog (web log...online diary) talking about Ethan where Kevin said he was trying to be "THE queer of Harmony( high school)" Then inspiration struck and I told Ethan that Kevin was "The One Queer" like the ring. So Kevy will be as the ring is...indestructable and mildly evil. lol Now that I've ruined the plot. Read on!

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God bless this bitter cold hell we call winter! Why? Because its Orc Season! Let us hunt some orc!

I read the Hobbit when I was little but those cartoons kept me from reading Lord of the Rings. They went from the Hobbit to Return of the King. Confused much? Yeah so they were avoided but I had always loved those furry footed little guys and the non cartoon elves. The cartoon guys were all blue and potbellied and creepy ::shudders:: So upon hearing they were doing a live action LotR I about fainted.

Who'd they cast? How'd they adjust it? What will the effects be?

That first trailer cleared everthing right up. Elijah Wood as Frodo, Ian McKellen as Gandalf and the skill of the cuts they were willing to show on tv. Oh yeah we can do this. In fact we're doing this opening night baby. I rang up The crew and it was go time. Hump day was never so happy as that day.

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"Ethan man I know your bumming over that dumb ass friend of yours but you have got to enjoy yourself here." I turned down the radio to hear the reply.

"What is this about anyway Sasha?" Ethan asked with the tone that says 'this better be good'.

"Umm...well theres some stuff about a ring of power and cute hobbits and magic and heroism....thats all I need to know." I responded

"So is it kinda like Harry Potter?" Mallory was a Potterhead.

"Wait...this is a fantasy film? Let me out of the car." What was Beths deal was she under a rock this past month jeezie creezie.

"Am I the only one going to see this that has read it?" Joey asked from the backseat.

"Aparently" Ethan snaped, "And I am not 'bumming' I'm pissed. That ass Kevin had to be so two faced and write all that shit in his blog about me."

"Oh gods, what now?"

"He said I'm trying to be "THE queer" at our high school."

"They have a restriction on you guys now? Damn they have gone a bit nazi havn't they?"

"No they haven't put a cap on it that ass is just...an ass." Ethan mummbled into the sunset.

"The assiest of them all. I was joking by the way. Anywho you've got three great hours to forget that loser... not that you can hear me right now."

"Three hours of hell." Beth chimed in.

Ethan continued to mutter, "...I don't want his boyfriend!"

"Three hours might not be enough time." Mallory said quietly enough to slide under Ethans ranting radar.

This was going to be a FUN trip to the cinema.

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