"Hold on! This is going to be one bumpy ride! Geronimoooooooooo-"

The box hurtled through time and space, and the time within spaces, and space within time. Dimensions swirled and time turned purple as pocket dimensions bubbled up in the wake of the most powerful ship in the universe, only to pop, spraying fresh plot over the ship's blue exterior.

(Plot is the Time Lord term for liquefied time-space distortion. The formation and destruction of plot bubbles create holes which bleed distortion into the universe. This explains strange continuity errors and out of character actions that normally accompany crossovers. Crossover is the technical Time Lord term for an event where dimensions are breached and people from different universes are able to meet each other. Plot in its vaporous form is called "Convenience" and a solid mass of plot is called "Coincidence". This has been a helpful note from the Time Lord Hitchiker's Guide to the Multiverse.)

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

The companion's voice was barely heard over the whining and crashing of the ship tearing a hole in the universe.

"I asked her to find a Skaropuff!" A voice said in reply.

"A WHAT!?"

"A Skaropuff! It came to mind and I wasn't sure if it existed or not. So I diverted all TARDIS power into taking me to one because it sounds amazing. I think it's working! Only it's taking us a completely different universe! Normally it wouldn't be possible but I suppose today is a good day for crossovers!"

The blue box flipped upside down as it scraped along the surface of a time-locked patch of…time.

"Oh no! Oh no oh no oh no oh no…It'll fix! It-"

A bang interrupted the time lord and knocked him to the ground as the cloister bell started to ring and the ship hurtled on through the void….


"Permission to speak freely?"

"Permission granted. What's on your mind Spock?"

"Jim, tell me again, why did you name the tribble 'Skaropuff'? "

The captain of the newly refurbished USS Enterprise pet the purring puffball in his lap.

"It just seemed right. I assume you have an issue with it being illogical?"

"I never said that. But your assumptions are well founded. Are you certain it can't multiply?"

"If Bones said it's safe then I'll trust him on that. He's the doctor aftera-"

At the words "The Doctor", a resounding CRASH echoed through the halls. Kirk jumped up, putting Skaropuff back in its box.

"Computer, open a line to engineering. Scotty! Did you do that?"

"No captain! The engines are running perfectly and nothing's registered as hitting the shields. If I didn't know better, I'd say it came from inside the ship."

"Well if it wasn't the engine, then what could it-"

"Captain, you had better take a look out here"

Spock stood in the door way, a look of trying not to have a look of disbelief on his face.

"What is it Spo-"

The words barely left his mouth as Kirk saw what lay just beyond the room's door. A blue box lay on its side, reeking of burning plot Convenience. The door opened and a raggedy man in a bow tie and tweed jacket climbed out of the doorway. He took a look around and gave a weak smile.

"Hello. I'm the Doctor. Is there a Skaropuff here by any chance?"

After the initial confusion wore off, Kirk opened his mouth to speak. No words came. Spock filled in for him.

"A doctor? Doctor Who?"


In the region of space around the Enterprise, a single ship phased into existence, following the wake of the TARDIS. It's a ship that hasn't been seen for centuries, and yet is still all too familiar to the Doctor. It's the only ship, in the right time, at the right place, which managed to lock onto the temporal signature of a time machine scraping against a time-locked region of time and follow it out of said lock.

Pushing copious amounts of Coincidence aside, the ship started to regain power, floating in the abyss of open space. It was broken, and battered, but its single occupant was still very much alive. Its three thin appendages had been bent out of shape, but they quickly began to right themselves. Its top section began a 360 degree spin to take an account of its surroundings.

The two bulbs on the ship lit up. Four times each. And then again. And again. Slowly at first, but quickly picking up speed. If there were air in space, one could hear the sound it was emitting; a sound that planets feared and make the deadliest warriors in the universe tremble. A single word, repeated endlessly into the abyss.

ex….

Ter….

MIn…

ATE….

EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!