Something to Remember Him By

He lay on the bed staring at the ceiling, holding back tears by counting ceiling tiles wondering if it would eventually help him to fall asleep; knowing it wouldn't. He knew what everyone thought he was going thought.

What everyone thought was troubling him.
But, they were only partially right.
Yes, he blamed himself for his father dying.

Chances were that he was dying himself.

If one of them shouldn't have made it it should've been him damn the beginnings of the Brady/DiMera feud to hell and back.
It wasn't Shawn's call to make him face what was to come.
And he knew what was to come.

Because even though they all seemed to forget, he didn't.
Couldn't.

He remembers how she went from being a happy newlywed and new mother to someone who was holding on for them.
To someone whose wishes they never fully made come true.
How she went from someone who loved to be with family and friends to someone who could barely leave the loft.
From someone who would pick her son up at the barest whimper to someone who was afraid to hold him if someone wasn't there because she was afraid she wouldn't be strong enough to hold him.
Because she was afraid she would drop him.

She had what was one of their guesses for what was ailing him.

Pancreatic Cancer.

It had killed her in less than three months.

His bright, bubbly, happy sister who had everything to live for was gone in no time at all.

They promised to remember her.
Keep her alive that way.
And yet, especially now, it seem like no one did.

If they remembered like he did they would've understood why he fought the way he had.
He didn't want to fade away.
He wanted to die a hero.

Maybe then they wouldn't forget. . .