"Lauren, I really like you –" is how Max starts the sort of-almost-kind of breakup speech that Lauren's been expecting since Worlds. She's not exactly upset by it – she's known that he's had eyes for Payson, and only Payson, from the start, and she's…okay with that. If anything, she's just vaguely annoyed, and a little bored – she has plenty of more important things that she could be doing right about now. Things like – getting her nails done, or buying a new pair of shoes, or even sucking up to Sasha with extra practices. Plenty of much more important things.
Raising a hand – a hand with nails that do indeed definitely need a manicure; it's the price of being an elite gymnast – to halt Max before he can get too into this noble speech that she's sure he has all planned out, Lauren just gives her sort of-almost-kind of boyfriend a knowing look as she interjects bluntly, "Save it."
Max blinks at her like she's a talking dog or something – and god, she knows she's a bitch, but she didn't think that anyone still took that word literally – and she smirks a little at his naïveté – christ, he's so cute, like a puppy or something; it's almost disgusting – before shaking her head. "I know. You really like me – my boobs, anyway," she notes aloofly, as he at least has the decency to look down with some sort of shame on his face. "But Payson's the one that you love. Payson's…sweet, and friendly, and all that really attractive stuff that I'm more than aware that I'm not."
It's – strange, telling him all this. Lauren's been vulnerable, before – around Summer; around her father; around Sasha; around Carter and Kaylie and even Emily – but this is…different. With everyone else, it was about her mother issues, or it was strictly physical, or it was just about pride versus humility. Lauren can barely remember the last time that she was emotionally vulnerable around someone like this – emotionally vulnerable to the point where she can admit she's not perfect, and she doesn't feel tears stinging at the back of her eyes like usual. Maybe it's something about the situation, since she's made her peace with Payson already about this whole Max matter – or maybe it's just something about Max himself, since he's so innocent.
Either way, Lauren finds it oddly easy, opening up to Max, and she just shrugs at the startled look he's giving her from across the coffee table. "I get it," she insists, slightly exasperatedly, as his expression changes to one more of skepticism than anything else.
Looking down at where he has his hands clasped between his knees again, Max hesitates before answering. "Do you really? Get it, I mean. Because I'm pretty sure you don't," he murmurs quietly, like he's afraid to be talking about this. Lauren knows that tone of voice – she's heard it from many a person. Because of her personality – it's abrasive, to say the least – and because of her father – he's even worse, even though he's been trying longer than she has – people have always been nervous talking to her. They've always been afraid that they'll say the wrong thing; they'll rub her the wrong way, and then – bam, their lives (or at least careers) are abruptly ruined.
But as far as Lauren knows, Max has no reason to be afraid of saying something wrong in front of her – after all, how much more damage could he do after sort of-almost-kind of breaking up with her? – and if he thinks he has a reason to be, then she absolutely wants to know. Maybe she'll use it to her advantage, just keeping it in her back pocket in case she needs to exploit him at some point or other – or maybe she'll follow Summer's advice and do the honorable thing: nothing. Either way, she does want to know what it is, and now, she doesn't intend to let him leave before she does.
"Then explain it to me," she says in her most enticing voice. Most people – or Carter, probably – would say that that's her flirty voice, but the truth is, that she doesn't have a flirty voice. There's her normal voice, and her show voice. The latter is the same one that she would use if she were to speak while on the beam – she seduces judges with her flashy and flirty moves; she gets what she wants through smoothness and sneakiness. It's the one she's using now; not to try and lure Max into her bed, but just to try and get him to spill his guts as soon as possible.
Max looks up at her for a moment from under his lashes, which are strangely long – she considers asking him if he's wearing mascara for a second – and bites his lower lip in an uncertain way that she's also used to seeing on people. His troubles seem to be deeper, she thinks, from the way that he's dangerously close to breaking the skin, and she almost feels like she wants to reach over and rest a hand on his knee or something, just to comfort him. She chooses not to, because Lauren Tanner doesn't do sympathy – but the fact that the urge even passed through her mind to begin with worries her slightly.
"Payson told me about what went down between you and Kaylie over that guy from Denver – Dick Anderson or something?" Max says instead of answering. Lauren almost draws attention to his not-at-all-subtle change of subject, and almost corrects him on Carter's name, but doesn't, and enjoys a small smile to herself instead as she nods. (She gets the feeling that Max is getting Payson's description of Carter and Payson's addressing of Carter mixed up, and feels a sudden fondness for her best – blond – friend.)
Leaning back against the cushions of the sofa and crossing her arms over her chest, Lauren nods with mostly-feigned indifference and urges, "Yeah, yeah, it was a hot mess and I'm a whore –" (here, Max actually interrupts her, to murmur something compassionate-sounding that Lauren thinks is actually a promise of You're not a whore. She smiles at him – she's not fooled, but it was still nice of him to say – in gratitude.) "I've heard it all before – what about it?"
"I know that you and Kaylie are best friends - I swear, I'm not trying to say anything different – but…" Max hesitates, and takes an obvious breath before spitting out in a rush, "Is that as far as your feelings go, or was there something else behind that?"
It takes a moment, but when Lauren realizes what Max is insinuating – that Lauren had a crush on Kaylie – she laughs quietly, and drops her head back against the back of the sofa. As she stares at the panels on the ceiling – panels that she'd selected, when Daddy had been picking everything out for this new house – she grants herself a pause to gather her bearings before responding with more honesty than she usually likes to show anyone that's not – well, just anyone.
"Okay, listen up Maxie, because I'm never going to say anything like this again," she warns with a slight grin that she aims at him, half-playfully, half-threateningly. "I had monster crush on Car – Dick, when I was younger, but that was it. It didn't last longer than like, a month or something. When I found out that Kaylie was dating him, I was hurt because she's my best friend, and she didn't tell me – and I was scared. She's been my best friend for all these years; she was always right there next to me, and then…she had a boyfriend, and I didn't want to lose her," Lauren admits, a little more dismissively than the story actually deserves, but admitting it all the same.
Max looks disbelieving, and yeah, Lauren can understand that – it sounds like nothing more than the petty, childish jealousy of someone who doesn't want to lose her best friend, comparable to the way that she was afraid she would lose her father because he was spending more time with Summer, at first. But whether Max thinks she's telling the truth or not, Lauren at least knows what's real, and she knows that every time she sees Kaylie, she feels something. It's not like she's a lesbian or anything – sure, she thinks Payson's gorgeous too, and she might have checked out that Ivanka chick's ass once or twice, but she still likes guys. Kaylie's the only girl that she wants – she wants to hold, and to sleep with (sexually or otherwise; both are equally appealing to her, weirdly enough), and just to be with.
Finally seeming to make his decision on whether he's going to trust Lauren or not – apparently, it's a yes, because he gives her a sort of commiserating half-grimace, reassuring half-smile – Max nods, and doesn't say anything for a moment, before he finally whispers, "I like guys. And girls. I'm bi."
The fact that that's the secret is kind of anticlimactic, and Lauren almost laughs, until she looks at Max's terrified, pale face, and her smile instantly falls. It might not be a big deal to her, but apparently it is to Max, and even though she's not exactly the supportive type, Max looks pathetic right now, like he really needs someone. Lauren knows that most people don't like her, and she can live with that, but with Max – he's a different kind of guy; he didn't just want to use her body, and for him, she wants to be a different kind of girl. (The type of girl that Summer deserves as a daughter – the nice girl, who does the right thing, even if it's harder.)
"Honey," she says consolingly, untwining her arms and leaning forward to finally rest that hand on his knee. He doesn't flinch away, or give her a suspicious look like he thinks she's coming on to him – he sort of leans into it, actually, and that's…nice. "I'm…"
Max watches her, curiously, waiting for her to finish, but it's only with that gaze on her that Lauren realizes she's not entirely sure what she is. She knows that she's Lauren Tanner, daughter of the now-deceased Leslie Tanner and Steve Tanner. She knows that she's one of the top-ranked gymnasts in the world, and is on the United States Worlds team that won gold in the most recent competition. She knows that she still feels an embarrassing fluttering in her stomach every time the US National champ Kaylie Cruz's arms wrap around her, and that she's consistently jealous of the way that Payson is so purely Payson, in an affectionate-rivalry sort of way.
And she knows that no matter what, she's going to be there for Max, whether he wants her there or not. She'll force herself into his life if she has to – she'll be by his side if he wants to come out, or whatever the hell it is that he has to do. She'll be right there, holding his hand – maybe not literally, but in spirit, at the very least – when he decides to tell Payson. And she'll be cheering him on from the proverbial sidelines throughout his whole half-gay journey.
"I'm here for you."
Max smiles at Lauren, those ridiculous puppy eyes of his looking as ridiculous as ever, and but Lauren doesn't feel annoyed, or amused – just happy. It's unusual, but it's a good type of unusual, and she can't help but to smile back at him – her friend – warmly.
If she's not mistaken – and she knows she's not – then Lauren thinks that this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
xoxox
AN: I ship the epicness that is the Lauren/Max lesbromance-slash-hagship.
Disclaimer: I do not own Make It or Break It, Casablaca, or anything else I might have referenced here.
