Disclaimer: The characters still belong to Paramount and Grub Street Productions. The quote isfrom the Iliad. Another thing I don't own.
A/N: This can either be read as a missing scene in SB, SB or as an AU fic. I think it works both ways.
Feedback would be really appreciated. Either R&R or send to solitudeperfection at yahoo. com
Unexposed Scenes
By Elaine
'I detest that man, who hides one thing in the depths of his heart, and speaks forth another.' Achilles: Iliad 9:312
No. He didn't say that. He's lying. Oh God, please let him be lying. Please tell me I imagined that, that he really hasn't married Mel. Not that. Anything but that.
I stood in the hallway, clutching the bag of cookies I had held all day. Like a child with her comfort blanket. I looked at them in disgust and threw them on the floor, watching as they rolled away from me.
I could hear voices from the living room, the stunned silence being overtaken by shouts of congratulations. There won't be any. Not for us. Not anymore. And suddenly I was jealous; and angry. Mel had the one thing, the one person I wanted. I needed. And now he's hers. And not mine.
The breath caught in my throat as my vision swam in front of me. I had the vague sensation that I was about to pass out; and I moved, closing the door behind me as my breath came in rapid, frantic gasps. 'Was this what he went through?' I wondered. 'Everyday?' The fear, the pain, the anguish? I curled my hands into fists and rocked, silently screaming.
I stayed like that for hours. Barely moving, merely rocking back and forth like a caged animal. 'Donny.' I thought dully. 'It wasn't supposed to happen like this.' I said half ruefully, half in anger. 'Yeah, I like him. But Niles. …He was supposed to be….I was supposed to tell him that….. I …..' After so long, I thought I would have enough time. But maybe that's the problem. There never is enough time. Not for us.
I stood up and stretched, my body protesting from its confined space. I could hear voices: Frasier's, Martin's. And Niles's unmistakable scent hit me even from here. I took a deep, cleansing breath and walked out; painting a smile on my face.
"Hello, Dr Crane. I hear congratulations are in order." I said, but my voice sounded strange, alien.
He smiled back and took my outstretched hand in his. "Yes, thank you Daphne. Mel and I were worried about overshadowing your wedding so we just…" He trailed off and shrugged apologetically.
"It's Ok. Dr Crane. You don't have to explain." I said automatically.
Inside my soul was screaming. 'Yes, you have to explain. You have to tell me now, why now? Why after all this time?
He let my hand go and I shuddered imperceptibly at the lack of warmth. I have to talk to him, I thought suddenly. Not now. But here; and soon.
It took 2 hours before we were alone together. I thought he was avoiding me. I walked into the kitchen and found his back to me, head in the fridge. I had an overwhelming urge to run my hand down his back: to feel his spine meld into my touch. I clasped my shaking hands behind my back, and uttered softly.
"Dr Crane" I said.
He turned around and straightened up. "Hello Daphne."
We stood, neither of us moving, the silence stretching on. Niles made the first move.
"I should really get these canapés out there." He said, gesturing with the plate to the living room.
"Dr Crane….Niles." I said, reaching for him. "Stay. Please. Just for a moment."
He looked at me and nodded.
"Are you sure?" I whispered. "About Mel. Are you sure?"
I looked up into blue eyes that I had committed to memory for months now. "Does she make you happy?" I asked, wondering why I was torturing myself with such a question.
"She's a good person." Niles said. "And she's very well respected…and…"
I cut him off, laying a hand on his arm. "I didn't ask that. Please."
Niles looked down at his feet, his voice barely audible. "No, she doesn't." When he looked up again, his face was covered in a rueful, accepting smile. "Then again, only one person ever did." He said quietly.
I cupped his face in my hands, my mouth barely inches away from his. He didn't flinch. Didn't look away.
"I know." I said quietly. I could feel the tears fall, and I didn't care. I didn't care if he saw me like this. We would never be like this again. Could never be like this.
"I've known for a little while." I whispered.
He stared at me in utter shock. "You never said." He uttered dumbly.
I smiled in sorrow. "I know. I'm sorry." I whispered past the lump in my throat.
Niles shook his head. "No, I am. I should have said…something. I should have…" his voice trailed off.
I leaned forward and kissed him. Softly, gently; my hands caressing his face.
It was over far too soon. I dropped my hands, my body shaking. The moment was over. It would never happen again.
"Congratulations, Dr Crane." I said. "I hope you and Mel will be very happy together." I smiled, but it never reached my eyes.
Niles nodded. "Thank you Daphne. And may I wish you and Donny the same happiness."
"He won't." I whispered, for him alone. "Thank you Dr Crane." I said louder.
I walked out of the room and away from Niles. But part of me: part of me never left him.
