Elena stumbled feebly through the graveyard. Every step forward, every breath she took hurt her.. Her very existence pained her more than words could describe.. Just let this end be it...she yearned.. no more now.. No one is going to die anymore, not for her, it was time to stop this deadly cycle..
Her trembling hand clasped around the wooden stake tighter, her fingernails dug into the splintered wood, assuring her of her mortality. She reached the two tombstones. Elena's eyes met with the etched names of Grayson and Miranda Gilbert. Elena crouched to the ground outlining the carved letters with her fingertips. "Another Gilbert will soon be written on the cold stone soon" she thought, her eyes welled up, sadness threatening to consume her..
Flashbacks of her home entered her mind.. the yellowing photographs of smiling faces on her mirror, the black feathered dream-catcher Bonnie had made her years ago, Jeremy's discarded drum kit in the attic from his rock music phase.. the teddy bear her mother had bought her when she was 7 years old because she'd broken her wrist..
Elena let out a strangled cry.. the grief was unbearable, how could they all be gone forever! How could..he be gone...Her breathing began to quicken uncontrollably..She tried to fight away the memory that would forever haunt her.. the image of his body falling to the ground lifeless, eyes blank, empty.
Elena's balance gave way.. she fell to the ground, dragging her torso upright with her last ounce of strength..
Just flick the switch Elena... a small voice pleaded in her head, leave humanity behind, you'll never have to feel this hell again.. you could still live on this earth..
Elena shook her head violently and bit into her lower lip..she could never take the easy way out now.. He had died for her, he had loved her humanity above all else, had treasured it even more so than she did..
Exhaustion began to dim her vision. Slumping forward she leant her head against her father's tombstone, encircling her arms around it weakly.. Through blurry eyes she looked at the stake which still rested her right hand..
The cold dew beneath her seeped through her jeans. The blades of the long grass obscuring her body's outline.. Between the graves she felt some comfort, she lay at her parents' side.
3 months earlier...
Elena woke from a restless sleep, flailing her arm to her bedside table she hit the button of her sirening alarm with far more force than was needed.. Hearing the plastic crack under her outstretched palm she rolled her eyes,"Great now need a new alarm.." she muttered to herself. She sighed deeply and rolled over to face the window. As she wrapped the duvet securely round her neck her mind drifted to the events on the porch the night before.
"When you tell me what a vampire should be, deep down I believe you..I think that you're right and I-I h-hate that feeling, cos I don't want to be..."
"You don't want to be like me".
The memory of Damon's face, the cold resignation and hurt in his clear blue eyes sent a pang of guilt through her body..She hated how his words had resonated so true, the horrible silence that followed, knowing she couldn't possibly deny it. She didn't want to keep hurting Damon but somehow she had got caught up in the music, the blood, the feeling of Damon's chest under his red splattered shirt..
Elena was brought back to the present by the sound of Jeremy rapping on her door. "Elena you awake? School starts in an hour if you're going?" Jeremy mumbled groggily.
"Yeah I'm awake, thanks Jer." Elena replied.
Frowning at the ceiling she listened to Jeremy drag his feet across the hall to the bathroom, yawning like a bear as he did so. She was not going to school that day, partly because really she had the whole of eternity to pass her exams but mostly because she didn't fancy seeing Bonnie again after getting busted with Damon in her arms covered in blood.. Well she didn't get "busted", it's not like Stefan didn't know she had gone to the college with Damon to feed.. Ok he didn't exactly know she'd have been dancing like that with Damon.. She wondered what would have happened had Bonnie not walked in..
Elena threw herself out of bed, roughly changing into a pair of jeans and a vest top, clearing her mind from her musings which she felt had started to take a worrying direction...
Her phone vibrated on her bedside table. Stefan's name illuminated the screen. Her stomach tightened slightly with guilt. She let it ring off. She'd ring him back when she'd had a shower and woken up properly, and felt like a more decent loyal girlfriend she added mentally...
Stefan sighed and tossed his phone back on the bed. He had had a feeling she wasn't going to pick up this morning.
He had left soon after Elena had returned home, as she had been so tired and emotionally drained from the college trip he suggested she go straight to bed. She hadn't argued and he was glad, he needed to get back to the house and double-check all evidence of Klaus' murder of his dear sister were gone before Damon returned.
The want of blood was tearing Elena apart, it was obvious to see. Her human instincts of compassion and control were being torn from her, being replaced with only blind hunger. He hated the pain it was causing her. A pain he knew was his fault..
But the cure would save her. She wouldn't have to suffer anymore, she could return to her human life and maybe, just maybe, he could return to a life he'd lost over 150 years ago, with her by his side.
"Hello brother, dreaming up your latest diary entry are we?" Damon's sarcastic drawl snapped Stefan out his daydream.
"Dear diary" Damon continued mockingly. "Today I thought of yet more new idiotic ways to be a vampire, I'm considering ruling out eating fluffy bunnies as they are just too darn cute."
"What do you want Damon?"
"Oh nothing, just the pleasure of your company" he said with a wry smile.
Stefan tutted under his breath and crossed the room, waiting for Damon's true reason to emerge out of his little charade.
"What not pleased to spend time with me? We used to love each other's company, 'spose that's before Katherine screwed us over and you screwed me over for all eternity" Damon said casually.
"Oh, and before you of course chose Elena's good opinion of yourself over her life" He added venomously.
In a split second Stefan was facing Damon, mere inches from his face.
"What is your problem Damon! Why do you want to keep dragging this up?" Stefan seethed.
Damon had not flinched to his brother's outburst, his face showed nothing but contempt and dark amusement.
"You want to know why brother? Why I want to keep 'dragging' this little thing up? Because I am trying to pick up the pieces of the mess you created and you know what it's getting pretty tiring." Damon's lip curled into a bitter snarl, he really did look tired.
"I don't revel in babysitting your girlfriend you know."
Damon stalked over to the other side of the room, pouring himself a glass of bourbon and downing it in one.
"What do you want me to say Damon? You didn't have to try help her. You could have left it up to me and Caroline, told her no. I was that close to saying no to her myself, but I respected her decision. Don't go taking this out on me when it turns out she still wants to hold onto her humanity Damon, its her choice."
"Ha! There we go again, Saint Stefan advocate for women's choices.. that lead to their demise."
Stefan's fist met with Damon's face with intense force. Damon fell flat on his back, blood pouring from his nose. Damon rounded on Stefan fist raised, teeth bared when Elena burst into the room.
"What the hell is going on?!" Elena demanded, eyes wide at the sight before her.
Damon smoothed the front of his shirt and walked towards the door, his eyes met with Elena's briefly, she was slightly taken aback by the coldness reflected in them. She felt a pang of unease in her stomach, the argument had definitely been about her.
"Why don't you ask Stephan?" Damon shot one last disdainful glare at Stefan and walked out the room.
Elena thought how when she had walked in on the brothers fighting before she'd been met with a sarcastic and somewhat amused response from Damon. The lack of which worried Elena further, it was very uncharacteristic of him to immediately leave the room like that. Damon's face had an essence of something Elena had rarely seen in him, it looked something resembling, well.. tiredness?
Elena looked at Stefan, his face was dark. Whatever Damon had said had certainly hit home she thought. Maybe he'd told him about their dancing, how much she'd been enjoying herself, how if Bonnie hadn't broken up the party Damon would have got his way, a repeat of the motel night perhaps.. Stefan still didn't know what had happened that night either.. It unnerved Elena how many secrets about Damon and her were totting up that Stefan was oblivious to.
"So you gonna tell me what that was about?" She tried to keep her voice even, hiding her inner fears of his response.
"Damon was just winding me up, nothing to concern yourself about."Stefan replied with an attempt of a smile.
He quickly changed the subject to what they were going to do today he cheerily suggested another trip on the motorbike to take her mind of things?
Elena went along with the charade for the rest of the morning, she knew she wasn't the only one with secrets to hide..
