A/N: Please note that this poem is not to be taken too seriously! It is a bit of a humoristic parody thingy. Please take it with a grain (or a cup) of salt! I know I probably screwed up some of the rhymes too.


One day in Les Mis land

An ugly girl passed by

Her hair full of sand

It'd make you say 'goodbye'


She went to see Marius

This brattish little girl

Her reasons were all various

Her brain swept in a swirl


Her skin was sickish pale

Her clothes were dirty

If she'd tell her tale

She'd seem thirty!


She had high hopes

Of her lover-to-be

She went off slopes

To him, to see.


That saddening crow

Exchanged a glance

Disappeared like snow

She had no chance


He loved a woman

Young and bright

White skin, no tan

He'd be with her tonight!


Eponine cursed and cried

"He will not love me!"

"My brain has lied!"

"…It is she!"


'Ponine remembered the dark

from a far away past

it was the lark!

She knew it fast!


How unfair life had been

The lark was rich but poor 'Ponine

She barely had meat round her spleen!

What now? That was left to be seen


She decided to try

And get 'im killed

Crushed like a fly

Smoothly filled!


She lead him there

On the fighting ground

But in despair,

There was a frightening sound!


It was poor 'Ponine, crawling on the floor

Searching for him, but to no success

Marius was off to see his lover once more!

The light in her eyes became less


He didn't care

She waited for him

But he left her there!

The lights went dim…


Then the boy she had nearly killed

Noticed her and made

Her wish fulfilled.

He put down his spade.


"Good God why are you resting?"

"'Ponine have you no fear?"

"Come on, get up, get fighting!"

"Why else would you be back here?"


He started pulling her from the dirt

Poor 'Ponine, she hugged him tight

Although she was hurt,

He was hers tonight!


He brushed her away

Like a dog it's flee

But she blocked his way

To make him see


He seemed confused,

The poor boy.

He was being used

Like a dolly bear toy!


She made him sit down

And take her in his arm

It caused him to frown

Because of the flies that swarm


He noticed the ketchup on her chest

He held her tight and said

"What is that on your breast?"

Eponine felt warm and glad.


She was quick to reply

"Don't you fret, I don't feel any pain!"

He frowned once more and felt a little shy

"Oh Monsieur Marius, now my life is no longer in vain!"


He shook his head in confusion

This girl was slightly disturbed,

That was his conclusion.

She had probably surfed


The internet for too long

And now her brain was melting

From a downloaded song.

The poor thing.


She leaned against him to rest

The crow smiled and he looked in surprise

She made him detest!

They had to rise!


"Come little girl, we need to go!"

He looked around

"The revolution has started, you know!"

he nearly dropped her to the ground.


She grabbed his shirt.

Marius looked down in agony,

On his shirt appeared the dirt!

"How can this be?"


She looked up in delight

"Oh yes monsieur Marius! You're mine

for tonight!"

"Now all is fine!"


She moaned and twitched

He felt her nails in his hand

And then she switched

For a new place to land


"Promise me one thing,"

she said with a smile on her face,

ketchup down a trace,

her body shivering.


He nodded his head and said "sure"

What will was met?

His mind was pure

And fixated on Cosette.


"Give me one final kiss"

His eyes went wide

"That is my final wish"

He would have to abide


"My forehead, nothing more"

He let out a relieved sigh

"It is all I have lived for!"

He supposed he could try.


She took his hand and guided it

Past the ketchup, to her coat

There was something that seemed to fit…

It wasn't a plane, a ship or boat,


No, it was a letter

from his dear!

If he had known better,

he would have made it clear!


The crow sent him one last glance

Then her body went still

She had taken her chance

It had been the rain to kill.


He reached forward and pressed

His lips against her head

He closed the coat to cover her breast.

He felt a little sad


For he hadn't been able

To open the letter at once

He ran to the table

And took a quick glance.


Poor Eponine, she was lying there

There was not a single tear

For her to spare

All was well, no more fear


Her body would stiff

But her spirit would roam

Without a sniff

Up into the dome.