CHAPTER 1
Our super sexy story begins with Sasuke in Orochimaru's hideout base thing
Sasuke: Dammit its so boring here, I thought you promised me good times!
Orochimaru:I thought I showed you a good time yesterday
Sasuke: No! I mean good times when I'm sober!
Orochimaru: I'll let you pet my snake
Sasuke:NO HOMO!
Kabuto walks in with groceries.
Kabuto: K, I got Cookies for ORO and instant noodles for sasuke
Sasuke: DAM YOU KABUTO! I want cookies! Instant noodles taste like snake crap!
Orochimaru:STFU sasuke You're on a strict training diet! I call it the Jenny Crap diet!
Sasuke: Omg I've been eating this crap since i came here 3 years ago! I'm getting wierd side effects
Kabuto stares at sasuke.
Kabuto: Lemme give you a check up!
Orochimaru: OOOO!! Want me to help?
Kabuto:Don't wet yourself ORO, why don't you go eat your cookies in your room
Orochimaru: You never let me have any fun
5 hours of inspection later...
Orochimaru: K I'm back, we need more cookies! And the Dam toilet won't flush again!
Kabuto: Orochimaru, I don't know how to break this to you... but...Sasuke has boobs
Orochimaru: It took you friggin 5 hours to discover that?
Kabuto: I haven't prescribed these glasses in 20 years! They're still in style right?
Sasuke: I HAVE BOOBIES AND ITS ALL YOUR FAULT YOU STUPID PERVERT!
Orochimaru: OMG DID U READ THE NUTRITIONAL INFO ON THE BACK OF THE INSTANT NOODLE CUPS KABUTO?!
Kabuto: I'm on it sir! Hmm, may contains traces of nuts, milk, soy and...BOOBIES?
Sasuke: WTF MATE! YOU FED ME BOOBS IN A CUP!
Orochimaru: Omg we're so screwed! How will we take over the world with that rack of yours?
Sasuke: Kabuto can't you use some secret healing jutsu crap to fix these hooters?
Kabuto: No all i can actually do is make my arm glow a blue shade.
Orochimaru: BTW why haven't you noticed this b4?
Sasuke: This robe is wonderfully baggy, I could fit Chouji's bum cheeks in here! ...Not that I would want that... .
Orochimaru: Shut up Sasugay, we have to figure out a way to destroy your clevage!
Kabuto: I know one way!
Sasuke: Tell me you strange deformed man!
Kabuto: Tsunade can heal you!
Orochimaru: CUZ THAT REALLY WORKED OUT WELL LAST TIME! IDIOT! flashes back to time Oro had his hands all screwed up and they meet tsunade, but ended up in a sanin battle"
Kabuto: 2nd times a charm!
Sasuke: But that means i gotta go back to Konoha o.0
Orochimaru: NO sh sherlock
Kabuto: I'm up for a road trip!
Orochimaru: Omg you guys fail, we're gonan get our skinny asses Smacked by the leaf ninja! ...On second thought...I'll pack my bags
Sasuke: But I'll see naruto! and Saku-- Saku-- umm... That Pink haired whore! Don't make me goooo!!
Kabuto: It's either that or I'll cut your boobs off with my Kunai!
Sasuke: Hmm... Horrible suffering pain...or getting my boobs cut off... this is a hard decision.
Orochimaru: I don't care I got my bags packed. Get in the car we're leaving!
Sasuke: Cars weren't invented in this time yet stupid! It doesn't make sense!
Orochimaru: We're in a bad fanfic... It doesn't have to make sense!
Sasuke: Good point, let me go get my DS
everyone gets in the Snakemobile
Orochimaru: TO KONOHA! WOOOO!
Sasuke: Keep it down I'm trying to play Pokemon
Kabuto: OOOO! which version?
Sasuke: Yellow
Kabuto: Omg thats the one where Pikachu follows you and crap!
Sasuke: Dam straight! Now shut up or you'll screw me up
4 hours later
Kabuto: Are we there yet?
Orochimaru: No
3 hours later
Kabuto: Are we there yet?
Orochimaru: No
3 hours later
Kabuto: I need to pee
Orochimaru: The closest McDonalds is 3 miles away, can it wait?
Kabuto: But i need to peeeeeeeeeeee
Orochimaru: STFU WE'RE ALMOST THERE
Sasuke: OMG Kabuto made my DS yellow!
Kabuto: D BUAHAHAHAHA
Orochimaru: You're removing the stain after, thats REAL snake leather.
4 hours later
Kabuto: Are we there yet?
Orochimaru: It's either this or 5 episodes of tree hopping, YOU CHOOSE
Kabuto: HEY LOOK AT THE SIGN! 'KONOHA: 24 miles'
Sasuke: We're ALMOST THERE!!
Orochimaru: No sh sherlock
24 miles later
Orochimaru: Where the hell is the parking lot! How do they expect people to visit their village if they dont have a dam parking lot!
Kabuto: Just leave it next to the trees, no one will take it.
Orochimaru: K close the windows and lock the doors people.
Sasuke: I better hope no one notices me
the homosexual 3 walk into Konoha
The Door people: OMG SASUKE IS THAT YOU?
Sasuke: No, I'm just a really good cosplayer
Door people: Ohhhh... (why won't anyone cosplay as us for once?)
Kabuto: smooth --
Sasuke: K walk a little faster, I;m so scared someone is gonna-
CRASH
Sasuke: What the hell is your problem man?
Sakura: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
30 mins later
Sakura: POMGGG OMFGGGGGG OMGMGMFGG!!
Sasuke: slap
Sakura: Sasuke!! WDF IS THAT REALLY YOU?
Sasuke: NO, go away you strange whore
Sakura: It IS YOU! I can recognize that Sweet Caring tone anywhere!
Sasuke: RUNNNN!!
the homosexual 3 starts running after a pink haired girl around the village
CRASH
Sasuke: Who the hell keeps HITTING ME?
Naruto: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMGOMG
Sasuke: slap I'm not waiting 30 mins this time
Naruto: SASUKE!
Sasuke: SASUKE!
Kabuto: Kabuto? No? No one? Anyone recognize me? Fan girls? No?
Orochimaru: You both are soooo annoying Sasuke doesn't love you anymore!
Naruto: YOU CAME BACK to the village! That saves us a whole season's worth of time!
Sasuke: Nuh uh, I ain't stayin I'm going to get my breasts removed from Tsunade
Sakura: ...
Naruto: ...
Kabuto:
Sasuke: Yup I have boobs, now move aside.
Naruto: Although the boobs are a big turnoff for me, I'm still gonna make you stay in the village!
Orochimaru: While they're fighting, can you go across the street and grab some more cookies Kabuto?
Kabuto: Chocolate chip or Miso Pork ramen flavour?
Orochimaru: Surprise me
Sasuke: Arn't you guys staying to help me fight the whole FRICKIN VILLAGE?
Orochimaru: Nah I'm going shopping. I gotta stay sexy for the guys-- Errr-- I mean-- women.. Yes Pretty women.
Naruto: I've emailed/texted/called/notified everyone i know to get here ASAP.
Sasuke: WTF u guys got email already? back in the hut we just got TV
Naruto: Omg you guys are cavemen!
Hinata: I'm HERE NARUTO! READY TO FIGHT!
Tenten: OMG SASUKE! ADD ME ON MYSPACE! FACEBOOK? MSN? AIM? YAHOO?
Sasuke: This..is...a...NIGHTMARE
Lee: HEY SASUKE! SPRING TIME OF YOUTH! TRAINING! GAI SENSEI! LOTUS LEAF!
Chouji: I like hamburgers! and hotdogs...and mayonaise...and Korean barbeque
Ino: Im a slut!
Shikamaru: My eyes are small.
Kiba: WOOF
Neji: Sasuke ur destiny has been decided by me! AHA!
Shino: Have you seen Sammy the fruit fly?
Sasuke: This is like a bad reunion! And you still ask why I left the friggin village?
Naruto: Too bad! If you want ur breasts removed then you have to go through ALL of US!
Sasuke: I can barley get past Chouji...
Naruto: No, by get through I mean beat us in battle
Sasuke: ohh, thats much easier!
Sasuke's boob starts hurting
Sasuke: OWWWW!! MY BOOB!! GUYS STOP IM HAVING A BOOB ATTACK!
Neji: WTF!?
Sasuke: OMG SOMEONE SAVE ME IT HURTS LIKE HELLL!!
Tenten: Omg someone E-mail Tsunade! HES GONNA DIE!
Sakura: You know... I can heal him too...
Naruto: Unlike you, Tsunade has had actual experience with breasts.
Lee: OH NO HE DID DUNTTTTTT!!
Ino: HE JUST CALLED YOU FLAT!
Shino: Kk Tsunade texted back, she should be flying through a roof right about...
CRASH
Shino: now
Tsunade: WTF WHO PUT THAT HOT DOG STAND THERE! WHO THE HELL EVEN EATS HOT DOGS ANYWAYS?
Sasuke: S-save meeee!
Tsunade: Nice to meet you again you run away skamp
puts hand over Sasuke's chest and makes a green glowy light
Tsunade: What we have here is a minor case of the Boobinitus, you were trying to exert chakra too fast and ur boobs couldn't catch up.
Sasuke: THE HELL?
Tsunade: Theres only one cure... To learn the way of the clevage. Its a fighting style developed for Big chested people like me...and not Sakura.
Sasuke: THE HELL?
Naruto: Lol sakura has monsquito bite boobies!
