Everybody might hate me for doing this, but this is one bandwagon I'm particularly fond of. In the spirit of the idea, I decided that there was an unfortunate lack of several important character unit manuals, so I took it upon myself to create them.

I do not own the 'User Guide and Manual' format, and I'm not sure who does, but if they want me to take this down, it's not a problem at all.

In any case! If you have recently purchased a SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS unit, please read this User Guide and Manual before beginning operation.


SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS: User Guide and Manual

CONGRATULATIONS! You have just purchased your very own SEBASTIAN MICHEALIS unit. This manual was made to ensure that you, the user, could get as much potential from your SEBASTIAN MICHEALIS unit as possible.

Technical Specifications:

Name: SEBASTIAN MICHEALIS. He will respond to whatever you, the owner, call him, as he considers himself your lowly servant. However, he may reject being referred to as "Sebby," "Sebby-chan or -kun," or "Sexy Butler Man."

Age: Unknown

Place of Manufacture: Unknown. We suspect Hell.

Height: 186 cm (6'1'')

Weight: Unknown... but he is pretty thin.

Length: Perfect in every way, means perfect in every way

Your SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS unit comes equipped with the following:

Two (2) authentic, Victorian-style suits: one (1) black, white, and charcoal, one (1) black and brown

One (1) complete set of extra-sharp dining knives and forks

One (1) pair of white gloves

One (1) pair of fake reading glasses

One (1) pair of demon eye contacts, blood red

One (1) set of bunny ears and tail, white

One (1) heart pin, red, with ribbon, black

One (1) large suitcase, brown

One (1) violin

One (1) crow costume

One (1) pair of kitty ears plus tail

One (1) pair of stiletto boots

Programming

Your SEBASTIAN MICHEALIS unit is equipped with the following traits:

Butler: Your SEBASTIAN unit's primary function to be the perfect butler. He will utilize his supernatural talents, high intelligence, and resourcefulness to serve you to the very best of his ability. SEBASTIAN is incredibly adept at cooking, cleaning, and managing your estate - all things expected of the perfect butler.

Bodyguard: SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS is demonically strong, fast, and intelligent - perfect traits for protecting you and/or your family. To him, you are his primary responsibility; therefore you will never have to worry about being harmed, stalked, or even insulted without consequence with him around.

Mercenary: Determined to find your parent's killers? Ready to be free of your creepy stalker/loanshark/obnoxious neighbor/abusive spouse? Praying for the sudden and mysterious death of your super-rich husband? Your SEBASTIAN unit is perfectly capable of putting these nuisances out of your misery for good; he's just waiting for the order. Don't even worry about being considered a conspirator, either - your butler will make sure you're not only innocent, but a victim, as well!

*Note: We reccommend ordering your unit from betraying you, as his mercenary option may end up coming back to haunt you later.

Tutor: Got two left feet? Dumb as a box of rocks? Despair no more! Your SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS unit is delighted to share his knowledge of, well, everything with you! Calm, patient, and detail-oriented, a couple of hours a day with your dear butler and you'll be fit for dancing with a Queen and debating with a dictionary!

Removal of your SEBASTIAN MICHEALIS unit from packaging

Your SEBASTIAN MICHEALIS unit is perpetually calm, collected, and ready to face any challenge sent his way. Waking him and bringing him out of his box is perfectly safe; there is an infinitesimal chance of getting yourself maimed. However, we do recommend that you follow the procedures outlined below to ensure your safety:

*Note: All of these methods involve making a contract with the SEBASTIAN unit. This contract does indeed involve giving up your soul. If you are not ready for such a commitment, we suggest you send SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS back to us within the allotted time for a refund.

Method 1: Be extremely depressed and in despair and mope about in front of SEBASTIAN's box for a while. Soon, he will feel your despair and come out of the box to offer you a contract.

Method 2: Place a CIEL PHANTOMHIVE unit in front of the box and untie the unit's shoes. SEBASTIAN will then come out of the box, tie those shoes and pat CIEL's head. When he realizes you are there, he will offer you a contract.

*Note: If you leave the CIEL PHANTOMHIVE unit alone with your SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS unit for too long, the pair will go ahead and make the contract. If this happens, simply reset both units by screaming "MEOW MEOW MEOW!" You will know you have succeeded when the CIEL unit starts sneezing uncontrollably and the SEBASTIAN unit mimics you. You can, however, allow the pair to keep their contract. It will be that much harder controlling SEBASTIAN, though.

Method 3: Forgo the wallowing in self-pity and simply stand in front of the SEBASTIAN unit's box. Initiate the contract yourself. The SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS unit is starving for souls and values a strong-willed and self-driven soul, so there is very little chance he will refuse you. The unit will come out of his box to complete the contract.

Method 4: Place a GRELL SUTCLIFFE unit in front of your SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS unit's box and let him flirt for a little while. SEBASTIAN will come out almost immediately and strangle GRELL, but once he realizes you are there he will regain his composure and offer you a contract. We do not guarantee the safety of the GRELL unit.

Method 5: Place a cat or a group of kittens in front of your SEBASTIAN unit's box and wait. He will come out very soon and engage the cats in play. Because he harbors a deep reverance for cats, it may be a long while before he notices you, but once he does he will offer you the contract. Then he will return to the cats.

Reprogramming

Your SEBASTIAN MICHEALIS unit is reprogrammable with the following modes:

Calm (default)

Obedient (default)

Facetious

Cold-blooded

Distracted (locked)

Demonic (locked)

Slash (locked)

Your SEBASTIAN MICHEALIS unit comes preprogrammed in the Calm and Obedient modes. In these modes your butler will act as normally as possible. He will take care of all the chores, the house business, and anything you ask of him. Your SEBASTIAN unit can be loaned out to other people while in these modes, and he will work for them as competently as he does for you.

Facetious mode will begin automatically whenever someone makes an awed-remark at your SEBASTIAN unit's awesome-ness, or whenever your unit witnesses you make a mistake or embarrass yourself. While in Facetious mode, SEBASTIAN will poke fun at your and at others' expense(s) slyly and yet well within his restraints. On occasion he may enter this mode of his own will.

While in Cold-blooded mode, your SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS unit becomes a mercenary with a heart of steel. In this mode he is prepared to carry out your darkest orders with utmost speed and precision. We reccommend that you be very careful what you ask of your SEBASTIAN unit when he enters this mode, as he is less likely to question you and will perform the task with no qualms whatsoever. While the SEBASTIAN unit is precise and thorough, unless you have implicitly ordered him to not betray you, you may eventually take the fall for whatever dirty deed you had him perform. No matter what, unless some freak trick occurs, he will have your soul, anyway.

Distracted mode is locked unless your SEBASTIAN unit senses or spots a cat of any kind. Though normally lazer-focused and attentive, while in this mode, your SEBASTIAN unit will most likely ignore you. He is absolutely fascinated by cats, for whatever reason, and that is why we strongly suggest you keep him as far away from them as possible if you want him at top capacity.

Your SEBASTIAN unit is fiercely protective of you, if you have completed the contract. If something were to happen to you, or if he were to witness someone harming you, your SEBASTIAN unit's Demonic mode would unlock instantaneously. In this mode, your unit loses most of his restraints and begins to employ exceedingly violent methods to get you back to safety. Whenever your unit helps you complete his side of the bargain, your unit will unlock Demonic mode to begin acquiring your soul.

*Note: If your unit asks you to close your eyes or look away while he is in this mode, we strongly suggest you do so.

Slash mode is unlocked after a set amount of interaction between your SEBASTIAN MICHEALIS unit and other units available in our product line such as CIEL PHANTOMHIVE, GRELL SUTCLIFFE, BEAST, DOLL, the NUN, ANGELA/ASH, MAYLENE, CLAUDE FAUSTUS, and WILLIAM T. SPEARS. Your SEBASTIAN unit will willingly enter into Slash mode with any other unit if ordered to, as well, including with you. According to his programming, his body is yours to do with as you please, once the contract has been made.

*Note: SEBASTIAN harbors an intense dislike for both the GRELL SUTCLIFFE and CLAUDE FAUSTUS units. This means that initiating Slash mode with either of these will be a challenge, unless you order SEBASTIAN to do it. Also, if your SEBASTIAN unit sees you or another unit dressed as a cat he may enter Slash mode on his own.

Relationships with Other Units

CIEL PHANTOMHIVE: This unit is programmed to be the SEBASTIAN unit's master, unless you buy SEBASTIAN separately and make the contract yourself. When left alone together these two will make the contract and the SEBASTIAN unit will serve CIEL to the best of his ability. If you wish to keep this from happening while still owning both units, read Method 2 for waking your SEBASTIAN unit up to reset both units.

*Note: CIEL PHANTOMHIVE is a thirteen-year-old child and while acts extremely mature and intelligent for his age, he is still immature in many respects, including romance. CIEL sees SEBASTIAN as merely a pawn in his game, so therefore initiating Slash mode between the two of them is challenging and discouraged. Unless you like that sort of thing.

GRELL SUTCLIFFE: GRELL SUTCLIFFE finds SEBASTIAN attractive and firmly believes in flirting with him as much as possible. SEBASTIAN does not reciprocate any of GRELL's feelings, unless you order him to, and will most likely harm GRELL in some way if the reaper gets too touchy or threatens SEBASTIAN's master.

*Note: Slash mode between SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS and GRELL SUTCLIFFE may occur if the two are left alone and SEBASTIAN remains in Demonic mode for too long.

ANGELA/ASH: This half-and-half angel actually hates SEBASTIAN, and vice versa, but the angel will initiate Slash mode if the two are left alone long enough. Whether or not SEBASTIAN accepts depends on his relationship with you or with CIEL PHANTOMHIVE. Under normal circumstances, SEBASTIAN will not engage the ANGELA/ASH unit in combat, unless the angel proves itself to be a threat to SEBASTIAN's master.

CLAUDE FAUSTUS: Out of all of the products in our KUROSHITSUJI line, the SEBASTIAN unit hates CLAUDE FAUSTUS the most. If bought, this unit will attempt to steal the SEBASTIAN unit's master, thus inciting SEBASTIAN's jealousy and rage. Most often this will trigger SEBASTIAN's Cold-blooded mode, though a battle between the two while both were in their respective Demonic modes has been known to occur. Slash between these two rivals is next to impossible, though once initiated is extremely worth the effort. If you like that sort of thing.

Any of the PHANTOMHIVE SERVANTS: The PHANTOMHIVE SERVANTS include FINNY, BARD, MAYLENE, and TANAKA. SEBASTIAN treats each of these with politeness and courtesy, despite the fact that he intimidates each of them, except for TANAKA. When owned together the SERVANTS follow orders from both CIEL and SEBASTIAN, though often with disasterous results.

Cleaning

Your SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS unit is perfectly capable of cleaning himself, though this will hardly be necessary as he is perfect and never finds himself dirtied. In case you actually wish to clean your unit, he may or may not allow you to, depending on the strength of your relationship. He may, instead, offer to bathe you, as part of his Obedient mode. If your relationship is strong he may initiate Slash mode if you allow him to bathe you.

Feeding

Your SEBASTIAN MICHEALIS unit feeds primarily on souls, which makes for the basis of one-half of your contract. At first he fed on whatever he could but has since refined his tastes, only feeding on the purest, best of souls. Because of this he is starving, but willing to mold your soul into the kind he likes. He can and may eat regular human food, but he does not need it. Your unit prefers to prepare your meals himself, especially if you happen to have a humorously incompetent chef burning down your kitchen at every mealtime.

Rest

Your SEBASTIAN MICHEALIS unit is an early riser, in order to get all the preparations for the day completed. He does not need sleep, only does it as a luxury. He will make sure you're up at a reasonable hour, so if you're a late sleeper you may need to order him to leave you alone.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q. Will I go blind in the eye that SEBASTIAN places his seal?

A. No, but if he does put it in your eye, you'll have both an awesome bond and kicking conversation starter.

Q. Is there a way to break the contract without losing my soul?

A. Unsure. We also do not suggest you try, either.

Troubleshooting

Problem: My SEBASTIAN unit won't listen to me! All he wants to do is play with those dumb cats!

Solution: Reset your Sebastian's programming by using the procedure as described Method 2 of waking your unit. Then, while he is resetting, quickly get rid of all the cats in your house or in the area. Make sure that he does not see any more cats, and your problem should be solved. If his behavior continues, we may have sent you a defective unit. If that's the case, feel free to return him.

Problem: My SEBASTIAN unit keeps putting on my mother's clothes and won't stop trying to reap my soul!

Solution: It seems we have sent you a reaper!GRELL SUTCLIFFE unit instead. Please send him back and we will provide you with the proper unit. In the meantime, try mentioning WILLIAM T. SPEARS to GRELL and see if it subdues him at all.

*WARNING: He may then perceive you as a threat.

Problem: I thought you said SEBASTIAN was the perfect butler. This unit sucks! He keeps breaking things, burning my food and nearly my home, and every time I try to tell him off, he tries to commit suicide!

Solution: This sounds very much our butler!GRELL SUTCLIFFE unit. If you are dissastified with him, feel free to let him complete his suicide (though there is a large chance he will fail), or send him back to us.

End Notes

You have picked a loyal and capable unit to spend the rest of your life with. SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS is top-of-the-line, state-of-the-art hardware, arguably the world's best butler, and he is the perfect addition to any PHANTOMHIVE SERIES collection.

Good luck!