Gripping the edge of the window I stretch onto my tip toes to peak out. Darting my eyes back and forth, I see that the hallways are empty.
I grab the black sharpie out from in between my mattresses and walk over to one of the corners of my room.
With one swift motion I have taken the lid off the marker and have placed another straight mark amongst the many others.
After I have replaced the marker, away from the doctors, I sit myself back down in the corner and begin to count each line.
I remember the first time my doctor asked me what those lines represented, and I remember looking up at him and saying 'It's how many days it's been since I've seen Spencer.'
After that he smiled at me as he wrote on his brown clipboard and then said to me 'We're gonna help you get better.'
That was over a year ago, and still here I am in the same hospital, in the same institution, in the same room.
You see, Spencer and I have known each other forever.
Well, not really forever, but we've known each other since the fifth grade. We used to do everything together, and it wasn't until I turned fifteen that I realized I was gay.
Shortly after I realized this, Spencer did the same.
And then it wasn't until a year after that, that I asked Spencer to be my girlfriend. She agreed without a second thought, and I became the happiest person in the galaxy.
I fell in love with Spencer very fast, and I began to spend almost all of my time with her.
This caused my family to want to meet her, and every time Spencer was supposed to come over, she would cancel.
But that doesn't explain how I ended up here.
It all happened because one day Spencer and I were up in my room talking.
She was sitting at my desk chair while I was sitting on the edge of my bed.
I can't remember what we were talking about, but what I do remember is Kyla coming in my room asking me why I was talking to myself.
I laughed at her and pointed to the desk chair saying that I wasn't talking to myself, that I was talking to Spencer.
She looked at Spencer then looked back at me.
'No one's there Ash.'
'What are you talking about she's right there?'
'No Ash, no one's there.'
That's how I ended up here.
Well it wasn't immediately after, but after a few more times with that happening I ended up here.
The first couple weeks I was here Spencer would visit me every day. But once the doctors gave me these two tiny pink pills she stopped coming to see me.
I've thought about not taking my pills many times, but Kyla says that if I take my pills and get better that I'll be able to come home.
So I've been doing what the doctors say and I've been taking my pills as told.
So tomorrow I get to go home.
Kyla is coming to get me at twelve in the afternoon.
I'm kind of scared to leave, and to enter the real world again, but I've gotten better and I'm looking forward to talking to people again.
But most importantly I'm looking forward to being with Spencer again.
Standing up from my corner I walk over to my bed and lay down, pulling the covers up to my chin as sleep takes over me and I begin dreaming of her.
