Their own side (Chacun de leur côté).

- Oo

SH.

I had to. Not for me but for them. For him.

It was my game I couldn't let them be a part of it. Besides they would have been collateral damages, just dust left behind our confrontation and it wasn't fair.

I had to be able to think without disturbance, to be extremely concentrate and not make him sense that I could care for other people. Or it would have changed the balance between us to his advantage. Why would I want that ?

So I left him facing this terrible event, my dreadful fall. He was the only one who needed to see my death to make it real. He'll be so moved by it, that nobody is going to suspect a second that it's a fake one. I even lied to him. I had to. There was no other choice otherwise he would have spent his lifetime searching everywhere until he would find me. It would have ruined his health and driven him crazy as he would never be able to find me. I'm very good at hide-and-seek.

But I felt the need to see him one last time before a very long time. And I knew John, as a human being, will come to my grave – what a weird word to say - in no time to pay his respect, let out his grief or whatever.

I just can't abandon the person who choose to follow me on all theses many - and sometimes preposterous - affairs for the past few years.

Even so it is time for me to start again from the beginning.

- Oo

JW.

Oh Sherlock, what have you done! I still can't believe it. But my all body says otherwise. My hands are shaking day and night. I can't stand up on my feet for too long. And my voice has let me down on several occasions. The first time was at my therapist's office. She obviously learns about the events and it takes me ages to let out just a few words. Hurting words.

The hardest part is to face all this people so I decided not to attend your funeral. I've waited a few days and Mrs. Hudson was kind enough to accompagne me at the cemetery. It's comforting to know that someone is still at your side and she's of a few who understands you almost as well as me. So it helps.

I said all of those bloody things at your grave and it felt somehow liberating at the time. I meant every word. But it was just a moment. It passed since. Time isn't a good friend as of now it's getting worse and worse everyday.

Since the accident – as I call it - I have spent all my days on this armchair waiting for something to happen. But it didn't and I can't stand this apartment anymore. I'll have to find somewhere else to live. Something cheaper maybe outside of the city. Green grass fields and trees can't be bad for my health, can they? But I have to find some action alongside. I've tasted it for so long now on the battlefield and at your side. It was what kept me hungry to live. I hope one day things will start getting better.

And nobody will ever make me believe the last words you said to me on this phone was the truth. Even you.