This was supposed to be a one-shot but now that it's finished I decided against it. It's a little too lengthy for that.
...nothing too serious :) Reviews are ALWAYS welcomed, of course ;)
I'm still not a native English speaker or reader or whatever and I've written this without a beta.
I apologize in advance for potentially/ likely butchering the language.
For the sake of the "story" I've changed a few things about how Regina and Emma feel towards their canon "partners"…
I'm a total SwanQueen shipper and decided to ignore the storylines that aren't entirely to my liking (not trying to offend anyone.
This is merely my opnion and well... as it should be ;) )
Regina finds out about Emma's sexual orientation. Since they've become friends, she feels like she should help Emma to find love.
Along the way she comes to realize a thing or two about herself and things get complicated.
Rather than a story-story this is going to be a series of dialogues between the girls.
Hope you'll enjoy it! :) Thank you for reading and feel free to leave a review.
MOST ELIGIBLE FEMALE
Emma Swan loves lunch breaks. Eating being the main activity during that time of the day, how could she not?
She's already feasting on her second grilled cheese sandwich, feet- crossed at the ankles- resting on her desk
and brainstorming on different dinner-options when she hears the familiar click of those regal heels against the tile floor of the police station.
It makes her smile.
She and Regina have... They have a great friendship going on.
Ever since the brunette has broken up with Robin she's kind of seemed much more at ease and peace with herself and the people around her.
The Enchanted forest and her life as the Evil Queen now officially being a closed chapter,
the vengeance she'd felt for her lost Love Daniel had ebbed away and been replaced by memories and strength to do things differently.
It was obvious in the woman's demeanor and had brought her and Emma closer than ever.
These little visits were nothing new but never failed to make the blonde feel special.
"Hook tells me you've been avoiding him" is the first thing Regina says upon entering.
"So receptive that guy." Emma quips, not moving from her comfortable position.
"Emma" The older woman places her hands in her sides and warns her younger friend.
"Regina" the blonde sighs.
"Why are you avoiding him?" There's a certain softness to her tone indicating sincere concern. Emma realizes that, but can't help but groan nonetheless.
"It's not so much that I'm avoiding him." She whines and purses her lips.
Her feet find their way onto the ground. There's still two bites left on that chilled cheese sandwich of hers but her appetite is gone so she puts it aside and rests her head in her hands. Elbows on knees, as she's bend over in her chair.
"Uhu" Regina crosses her arms over her chest and tilts her head, awaiting the other woman's further explanation.
"It's us I'm avoiding." Emma's eyes travel upwards to meet Regina's.
And well, sue her… while doing so she does indeed notice the three buttons down and the way that dark skirt clings so very perfectly to the brunette's hips.
Said brunette is thrown off for a moment. Not fully understanding what Emma's trying to tell her.
"Us?" She asks inquisitively.
"Well... the us -him and me- I don't want to be a part of." The younger woman's now effectively leveled her eyes with Regina's.
"You're breaking up with him?" Brown brows furrow in question.
"It's not really breaking up if you've never really been together, is it?"
Emma shakes her head and smiles a little.
Attempting to look cute, or something.
"I'm pretty sure he sees himself as your boyfriend."
Regina slowly says and walks over to the blonde's desk to sit on top of it and make herself somewhat comfortable for this conversation.
"Yes? Well, he does have the tendency to be presumptuous. Not my fault. "
Emma pulls up her shoulders and averts her eyes from the woman's legs as they bend so elegantly at the knee and cross over each other.
In an attempt to make herself snap out of focusing on that she rubs her left hand over her face roughly…
To Regina it should just seem as if she's tired
"Emma." The brunette sighs, not for the first time.
"What?"
They make eye contact again.
The older woman inhales slowly and shakes her head a little before saying
"You need to talk to him." and then places her hands flat on the desk on each side of her hips.
"And say what?" Emma narrows her eyes, starting to get tired of this.
"That you don't want to be with him" Regina shrugs as if it's so evident and easy.
"I've told him that. And me not spending time with him... like ever... Should be a decent indicator of that very fact as well."
The blonde rolls her eyes because… honestly… How can he not have received the message, already?!
"Then why is he so persistent?" Regina's honestly confused now.
It's cute, the way she cares this much… Emma silently thinks, bites her lip and scratches the back of her neck before replying.
"He thinks I'm hiding from my own feelings. That I'm afraid to love."
She crosses her own legs, feeling the nerves creep up on her.
"Are you?" Regina asks her hesitantly
"No." Emma chuckles dryly. "I'm just not into him."
Regina searches Emma's face for a moment. The younger woman seems somewhat amused by her own words, which is… a little confusing.
But if that's how it is… Regina clears her throat and tilts her head while keeping her focus on the blonde.
"What about him is it that you're not into?"
Emma smiles a little. Her cheeks are flushed when she looks away before voicing her answer.
"Everything."
"All of the sudden?" Regina asks with furrowed brows.
"No not all of the sudden. I was never really into him."
Emma speaks up this time. Her words are quick but deliberate and clear.
The brunette is trying to wrap her brain around the blonde's words…
But she just doesn't understand why Emma would have put up so long with someone she doesn't…
"Then why…'
"Because I thought it would be easier" Emma quickly says.
"Easier than what?" Regina shoots just as fast.
Emma's talking in riddles and it just really doesn't sit right with Regina.
"Nothing" the blonde mutters
"Emma" Regina's tone is low and threatening.
"Easier than the truth."
"What truth?" The velvetness in her voice is back and honestly… rather soothing if you'd ask Emma. But still…
"What's up with the 20 questions?" She snaps.
"What's up with avoiding the questions? I'm beginning to think you're trying to hide something."
"I'm not."
"What truth?"
"I don't "
"The truth"
Their bickering is becoming rediculous really… This game of back and forth is leading nowhere.
"The truth is of no importance really... and it doesn't concern anyone but myself. All Killian has to know is that he and I can not be a thing. "
"He'll try to win you back"
"He never really had me."
"He'll still try to win you over."
"He can't."
"But he'll try."
"Do you ever stop?"
Emma groans and then sighs and then swallows thickly and stares into dark brown eyes that she wishes wouldn't make her feel like the room is spinning so damn hard.
"Do you ever just say something straight forward?"
This time, Regina doesn't sound snappy or threatening… she actually sounds hurt.
Why can't Emma just talk to her?
Tell her the fucking truth already.
And then she does.
"I'm not into men." Emma says without blinking.
Not once… not even after staring for a numerous amount of seconds into Regina's confused browns.
"Oh" the older woman breathes. She opens her mouth further to say something else… but there are no actual words.
Eventually she ends up looking like a gaping fish and though it's cute… it's also kind of slowly killing Emma on the inside so she tries to break the tension.
"Yeah so. That's that." Emma rolls her eyes and blushes. This time she does look away.
"You are a lesbian?" Regina then asks… sounding surprisingly normal.
"Hi" Emma awkwardly raises a slightly shaking hand, winces –because who does that?- and then gulps because… well the truth is out.
Regina knows and now things are going to be weird and fucked up. Great.
"But Henry" the brunette slowly asks.
"I could never regret THAT of course... I'm putting Erristoff in my will for that."
Emma jokes but kind of means and then actually snorts a little at how well all of that actually turned out. Eventually.
Maybe she should actually consider putting Erristoff in her will.
"Hu." The brunette nods and seems to be thinking hard about something.
"What?"
"Why have you never told me?"
Emma doesn't know if she should have expected that question or not at all. She breathes in long and slow.
"I'm not sure where I should have inserted it... When I first arrived at your doorstep?
When the curse broke and I realized Prince Charming and Snow White are my parents? When Pan kidnapped Henry?
And then of course... I was keeping up appearances with Killian."
"You could have told me whenever." Regina says evenly and studies the younger woman's face carefully.
"Right." Emma murmurs a little sarcastically.
"Well, not... whenever… obviously... but we've been friends for a while now, no?"
"Yes well... I guess I didn't know how to approach the subject."
They lock eyes again.
"I do understand that you found it somewhat difficult to just say it. But you've got nothing to worry about. Not with me."
And gods… Emma puts so much effort into keeping herself from looking at Regina's mouth.
It would be obvious and Regina would be offended and everything from there on would be weird between them.
"Thank you." She manages to say instead.
Another thing the blonde tries to keep herself from noticing is how Regina's chest moves up and down so beautifully with every intake of air the woman takes.
The brunette smiles sweetly and shakes her head, sighing audibly and then looks away.
"So tell me, of all the women in town, who would you say is the most eligible one for you?"
Delicate fingers trace the surface of Emma's gray desk as she's patiently awaiting the younger woman's answer.
Emma's completely dumbfounded. She'd certainly not expected this question to be directed at her… ever. But well… here she is.
"I... Geez I don't know Regina... I don't think eligible is the right word."
She stammers, feeling increasingly /sounding slightly nervous.
Regina's eyebrows shoot up towards her hairline and she bites her tongue to keep herself from snapping.
She scratches the desk beneath her fingers momentarily. Emma notices but doesn't say anything.
"Oh... so you're not interested in anything serious? You just want some ... fun"
The last word is spit out… her opinion on the matter made very clear.
"Well..." Emma thinks before speaking but is confused… "What? You think I... No!
Gods no I'm not interested in sex... well I am but that's not all that I'm interested in... I.. fuck this is a stupid topic.
Can we move on from this and pretend it never happened?"
Her nose is scrunched up as she's feeling so very uncomfortable right now.
This really isn't a conversation she'd expected to have with Regina Mills.
They were getting along just fine and then… this had to happen.
"We could do that... but honestly I'm not willing to. Emma, how could you keep this a secret? We're all expected to have "happy endings"...
But you happen to leave out such a vital piece of information on yourself? What were you planning to do?
Fix everything here and then leave for Boston to go live gay and happy? Or stay here, keep your sexual orientation a secret and be alone and miserable…"
Her voice is slightly raised in anger.
"I'm not miserable, thank you." Emma counters sharply.
Regina clears her throat again and bites her upper lip.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to... Emma, I'm not implying that you need anyone to be happy... but eventually, you'll want to share your life with someone."
"I... Guess, I don't know Regina. I don't really think about it that much to be quite honest."
"Oh really? Am I supposed to believe that?" The former queen snorts and regards the younger woman with raised eyebrows.
"I don't see a reason for you not to believe me." Emma mutters between clenched teeth.
"You literally just told me that you're in fact... gnterested in sex ... and more than that." Regina reminds the woman who winces at said reminder.
"You do think about it Miss Swan.
It might be a private matter and I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable but I'm sensing that it's not something you're working on."
"How?" Emma throws her hands up in frustration.
"How is it something that I could work on? There is absolutely no good outcome for my romantic life.
I know that and I'm in peace with that so now I'm just living life ... Getting joy out of friendships and our son. I appreciate your concern, Regina.
I really do but I'll be fine. I am fine."
"How can you say that? Why does it sound like you've given up all hope for a happy ending?" The brunette's eyes are narrowed and her lips are parted.
Emma's painfully aware of that last little fact.
"Will you stop it with the happy ending already?" She whispers.
"Emma"
"No. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make a big deal out of this and I just hate to sound dramatic and stuff but... "
"Emma you don't" Regina interrupts.
"Please let me get this out." The blonde presses.
"Okay."
"Look." She sighs and then commences. "I'm clearly a child of this world.
I don't see any princesses from the Enchanted Forest finding their True Loves with other princesses or princes with other princes or knights or whatever,
you get the gist...
I'm not just fixing things here and then leaving for Boston. I could never leave Henry and you… and everyone. I won't.
It's just how it is. And who knows maybe there'll be a guy that does sweep me off of my feet...
crazy and seemingly impossible things tend to happen around here..."
The last part is said in a slightly lighter tone. Not that it makes either of them feel any lighter.
It's silent for a couple of moments. Long stretched moments.
"Is there someone you like?"
"No" Emma's answer is quick enough to be considered hurried.
"Emma, it's not because you think it's not possible that you can't talk to me about your feelings.
We're friends now and you can vent to me. Isn't that supposed to be one of the advantages of having a friend? Or did I get that all wrong?"
"It's not possible." Emma softly says, but it's more to herself. A painful reminder.
"So there is someone."
The younger woman clears her throat, straightens out her posture, licks her lips.
"Like I said... No." and smiles formally.
"Okay." Regina's come to realize it's a lost battle… For now…
and decides to stop pushing Emma. Right now.
"I should get back to work." A pale hand scratches through golden hair as Emma pulls the tangled mess up into a ponytail.
Regina's eyes wander momentarily. What? It's fascinating.
"Why don't you come over for dinner later?" She casually suggests.
Casual or not… Emma's eyes narrow in suspicion.
"Why?" She turns her head to glance at Regina.
"This conversation isn't over Miss Swan and you know it."
She raises a single brow and purses her lips.
"I have plans." Emma lies and smirks while doing so.
"Cancel them. This is more important."
Regina deadpans, not amused at Emma's attempt to get rid of her so quickly.
"But" She doesn't even know what she's about to say when the other woman already interrupts her again.
"7 o'clock. Don't be late. I'm making spaghetti. "
The blonde lets out a sigh in defeat. She knows where she'll be having dinner. If only for the mean spaghetti that woman can make.
"Should I "
"A Chardonnay will do fine."
"Check." Emma nods obediently.
Mills, you're a real piece of work.
"Honestly Regina, I don't need a girlfriend. I think you've just turned me spaghetti sexual. Imma take a plate to Vegas, marry it and live happily ever after."
Emma sighs content after finishing her third and last plate of deliciousness.
"That's gross I don't even want to imagine the wedding night."
Regina grimaces but the little smile is badly hidden because, yes she is flattered and yes a cheeky Emma Swan is kind of cute. Kind of.
"I'll obviously just eat it out." The blonde casually shrugs and then smirks wile regarding Regina from underneath hooded lashes.
"Like I said... gross. " The brunette deliberately punctuates her last word, stands up and swiftly collects their plates.
Emma mindlessly follows Regina into the kitchen while pouting
"And sad because than she'll be gone"
"Ah and here I thought the plan was perfect."
"It was apart from that small loophole."
"Of course." The brunette rolls her eyes and makes her way to the living room, deciding that the dishes can wait. Again, Emma follows her hot on her trail.
"Hmm."
"So... " The older woman begins once she's made herself comfortable in the couch.
"Yeah"
"I've made a list" Regina unlocks her iPad with clear determination
"Congratulations" Emma's smile is wide and absolutely fake
"of all of the single females in town. Well that I think you might be able to... you know... feel some kind of attraction to."
Regina looks up and offers the woman in front of her a wink that's only supposed to look conspirative but does nothing but give Emma very wet daydreams. Damn.
"Ugh Regina... Let's not." She groans
"We shall go over the list and determine whether or not they are definitely straight or possibly a little female-loving."
The brunette so enthusiastically explains. and it's endearing really.
The way she's really trying to help Emma... it makes the younger woman want to cry and smile all at once.
Because seeing Regina like this, so free and playful, that is most certainly one fucking huge privilege.
If only it didn't break Emma's heart so very painfully to watch her getting so excited about setting Emma up with someone... not Regina Mills.
The younger woman swallows hard and decides to just lock all of the negative feelings away right now. She'll deal with those later.
She'll just enjoy every single moment she gets to spend with Regina.
"Wait... Was that even a thing in the Enchanted Forest?" Emma then suddenly thinks and voices.
"What?"
"You know... gays? I just assumed because everyone seems so... straight... it wasn't."
"It wasn't."
"Oh." Emma nods and furrows her brows. Then why are they wasting their time even talking about this?
"It wasn't practiced. That I know of. Look, the Enchanted Forrest was a whole different place. If there were people that experienced feelings like that they probably weren't openly sharing it with everyone... or anyone for that matter. It might have existed by there certainly wasn't a term for it...
Do you understand what I'm saying?" Regina explains slowly, softly. Obviously having noticed the deflated look crossing her friend's features.
"Hmm" Emma hums entirely unconvinced and nods meekly.
"Emma?" The brunette encourages her to share her thoughts… and well, doubts, really.
"Do you think there might be girls... women here... apart from me of course... that... have those sort of feelings." The younger woman than carefully voices.
"It's definitely a possibility" Regina breathes the words and then for some reason clears her throat nervously.
"But then... why haven't they come out yet? They've been living in this world for a long time now."
"Well, why haven't you?" Regina counters.
"That's different."
"Is it?" Brown, gorgeous eyes are narrowed in question as she leans forward just a little… throwing Emma off for a second there because honestly…
it's incredibly sexy.
Emma's working so very hard to keep her eyes away from the older woman's cleavage but fucking hell… It's calling out her name loudly, isn't it?
She suddenly shakes her head, realizing Regina seems to be waiting for an answer.
"I haven't come out because... I thought it was only going to lead to disappointment." The blonde reasons.
"Maybe they have the exact same fear."
"It's not fear" Emma then quickly defends herself and all those like her.
"Sure" Slim hands are being held up in doubtable agreement as Regina nods twice while sounding much too sarcastic for Emma to even consider she might be sincere.
"It's called being realistic." The blonde deadpans.
"Do you still think it's unrealistic?" Regina's tone has softened again, softening Emma affectively again too.
Although also confusing the blonde so extremely.
"Yes. I don't know. " She shakes her head before continuing
"And" and stopping rather abruptly again.
"What?"
"What if there is someone here... that is... gay, a female... What if I don't like her... like her? It's not because I like women that I'd wanna be with any given lesbian." Her eyes are on her own hands by this point. She's studying them nervously. While over-thinking absolutely everything. But she does have a point there, no?
"Okay. I understand that. But I don't think that's enough of a reason to not give it a try." Regina reasons that she might as well sympathize with the blonde, or they'll never get anywhere in their search for Emma's special someone.
"Give it a try?" Deep green eyes search Regina's hesitantly. Oh, there's definitely a glint of fear in there.
"Find you a girlfriend." Regina smiles so incredibly sweetly… making Emma want to cry and puke and marry Regina and rip her own heart out to squeeze it to dust so she doesn't have to feel so fucking much. All the fucking time.
She breathes heavily, swallows thickly and can feel herself getting dizzy.
"Oh boy" Emma breathes.
"Well, it's a girl we're looking for dear." That damned chuckle leaving those gorgeous lips is the last thing Emma needs right now. Or the only thing, really.
"A woman." She shakes her head a little absentmindedly.
"Ah. So you're more into older women."
When Emma looks up, slightly alarmed that Regina might be onto something, she's confronted with an excited looking brunette, tapping away on her iPad enthusiastically.
"I'm not into anyone." Emma quickly says. A little too loud and a little too wide eyed.
"I'm fishing for your type, dear." The brunette looks up from beneath those long thick lashes of hers. Much too comfortable, hunched over her tabled to move even an inch, looking all cosy, soft and warm curled up, the way she sits there. And really, Emma should definitely stop thinking like that.
"I don't have a type." She looks away, afraid of betraying and embarrassing herself.
"You're gonna have to be at least a little cooperative, Emma. I'm just trying to help." Regina then suddenly sighs. She really is being such a sweetheart. Emma realizes she could never actual deserve this woman, even if she were gay… which she's obviously not. But she's helping Emma… so
"I ... Fine." the blonde caves.
"So?" That taunting raised sex brow- excuse her- eye brow is back, killing Emma so very softly.
"If I'd have to say something I guess I'd say I'm ... more attracted to someone older than me." She's sounding totally casual, right?
"Okay. See, was that so hard? That's great Emma." Regina instantly praises her for sharing.
"Is that so?" Emma chuckles a little grimly.
"Obviously, since every single female in Storybrooke is definitely a lot older than you are." The smirk on her lips in undeniable as she taps away on the touchscreen in her lap.
"Oh that's hilarious. You're hilarious Regina. And very helpful. "
Emma snorts but does actually smile a little as well. Regina's definitely making sure they keep this conversation light and humorous even though there's so very little to laugh about if you'd ask Emma… But hey, that's not Regina's fault. So let's keep up the act.
"That's what I'm here for dear." The older woman flashes her a smile, brighter than the August sun during a heatwave.
"Yes well, obviously that wasn't what I meant." Emma then murmurs and blushes.
"Are you implying you actually meant you've got the hots for Mrs Lucas, dear?"
"What?! Ew no. I mean... granny is a great woman... for someone else... But I meant older not old... " Emma's face has paled a few shades right now. Now only slightly pink-cheeked she glares at Regina, and already realizes that…
"Relax... I was merely making a joke."
"Well you've always been so good at those." Emma snorts sarcastically
"So glad you agree." But her attention's already back on that 'list' of hers.
"So. Let's move on shall we? What about height preference?"
"Am I supposed to have that?" Emma's eye brows go up while she's already dreading how she's going to talk herself out of this one.
"It would be helpful for our selection. For example would you prefer Miss Lucas or Miss French?" Regina sounds all business and well… hot. But this is no time to think like that. Emma shakes her head and sighs
"I would prefer neither of them since they're both incredibly straight and not" but then pauses. What exactly was she planning on saying?
"Not what?" Regina tilts her head a little, feeling like they might be onto something.
"What?" Emma fakes confusion, poorly.
"You were going to say something." Regina says evenly, trying to remain patient.
"I wasn't. Forget it."
"That's not how my brain works. "
"Too bad."
"Swan." Regina presses sternly… They're past the point of secrets, she reckons.
Not entirely sure of what she's about to say, Emma does start speaking.
"That's not how I envision her."
So that's that.
"You envision her." Regina's tone soothes her nerves a little. Just a little.
"No." She lies and blushes feverishly.
"It's okay... You don't have to be ashamed of that. It's entirely natural."
Regina brushes a hand through her own hair. Feeling Emma's discomfort and wishing her friend wasn't so damned tense around her.
"Hmm"
"Emma. Look at me. Can you tell me about her?" The brunette encourages.
"Do you envision someone too? Well, a guy of course..." Emma asks rather than answers.
"Well"
"You do?"
And Regina figures that if this is what Emma needs to be able to open up completely… it's a small sacrifice for her to make. If one at all. It might actually be nice to let someone in on how she feels, for once.
"After everything... after Robin... in my next relationship I'd really have to feel wanted and cherished... "
"Of course" Emma nods and hangs on each word the brunette is willing to give her.
"And my feelings... they would have to be deep and intense and entirely reciprocated. The next time is forever."
"Yeah. Me too." Emma breathes and stares.
"Can you tell me about yours?"
Regina then carefully asks her and Emma nods.
"She'd be sweet and caring and of course very intelligent. Even more so than me." She even manages to joke and with that receives one gorgeous smirk from her brunette friend.
"Where ever shall we find her?"
"I know, right? I should have sticked with my spaghetti-marriage." Emma sighs comically.
"Go on"
"There would be moments were she's so strong and though that I'd look at her and be full of admiration because of her strength and then other times where she'd need me and me alone." Emma says, then nods and then seems to be lost in thought.
"Hmm "
"And Henry... She puts Henry before everything." The blonde suddenly adds to the list.
"Before you?"
"Before herself."
"Hmm"
"So" Emma pulls both of them from wherever their thoughts had run off to.
"So" Regina merely repeats her due to lack of inspiration.
"Who do we have? Do you think anyone in Storybrooke checks the list?"
"I'm sure there's someone." She nods and stares back down at her iPad.
"Hmm"
"What dear?"
"What if there's someone... and I like her. "
"That would be" That would be great, right?
"But she doesn't like me back." Emma slowly states out loud.
"Are we assuming she's lady-loving?"
"Hmm... Probably not but let's say she is..." She nods and concentrates on the brunette's advice.
"If she is, I don't think you have much or anything to fear"
Emma's a little confused by that. What's that even supposed to mean?
"Why?" She asks but is ignored by Regina as the older woman goes on without pausing.
"and in case she isn't convinced right away... there's nothing wrong with having to put a little effort into wooing her. Everyone enjoys a little wooing, I reckon." She shrugs.
"Would you? Enjoy it." Emma softly asks her.
"I'm not talking for myself, dear." Regina offers her a small, friendly smile.
"Hypothetical" Emma ignores how much this stings.
"I suppose I'd have to undergo it to know for certain... But the attention must at least be a little nice. "
"Yeah."
What do you think? :)
