Bad Day At Woodstock

They're in New York, it was just supposed to be a quick job burning the witch's grimoire. Ooohhh but were they ever wrong!

Dean's pissed the slimy witch bitch got the drop on them. But it's really not our fault. How were we supposed to know that fucking witches, he thinks with a shudder, could actually be smart for a change?

"Two grimoires? Two fucking grimoires! Great, juuust great. We got some slimy bitch on our tail with a loaded gun and a grudge!" Dean grumbles as he pushes his way into the crowded and noisy bar.

Dean immediately switches into what Sam has dubbed Dean's predator mode. Sam shakes his head in disbelief. Cas is God, Dean's daughter is sitting right next to him, and a witch wants their blood. But of course, getting laid is a way more important and pressing issue. Sam thinks with no little amount of disgust.

Plus the fact that Sam has been turned into a fucking girl might attribute a little to his discomfort.

"Oh stop with the bitchface Samantha." Angel chides, "At least you're not…this." She points down at herself in disgust. Angel looks distinctly un-Angel like. Her tattoos and piercings are gone, so are her leather pants, halter-top and combat boots, they have been replaced by a goody-two-shoes cheerleader outfit, and to top the look of innocence off, her hair is now a chestnut-blonde-brown color instead of its usual multi-colored variety.

Sam just rolls his eyes. She's definitely her father's daughter, he thinks. I've been turned into a platinum blonde bimbo, in a tight white T-shirt, really short jean shorts, and fucking stiletto high heels, and she's complaining about looking normal? Plus the fact that he's still friggin' tall, so he looks like a Russian prostitute doesn't really help his mood.

"I win most miserable award." Sam mumbles with a small smile. Somehow no matter how bad the situation gets Angel always seems to be able to cheer them up without even really trying to.

While they're sitting there waiting for Dean to finish, the single most amazing thing in Sam's entire life happens. Dean struck out. Dean fucking Winchester struck out. Sam's eyes widen and his jaw slackens as Dean shuffles back over to the table with a confused look on his face.

"Shut up bitch." Dean mumbles before Sam can comment.

Sam just busts out laughing, but since he's a girl it's turned into uncontrollably high pitched giggles, which then causes him to frown.

"Oh fuck!" Sam exclaims as he takes another shot, he needs to be drunk, as in yesterday.

The bartender comes over and by the look on his face he's about to ask Angel for her I.D. She makes him retreat real fast with an intense glare and growles out, "Don't even fucking think about it!," as she quickly returns to the many and various different kinds of shots laid out before her. Bobby's just gleefully sitting next to the Winchesters as they drown their sorrows in booze, glad that he was the only one left out of the witch's wrath. Although compared to some of the stuff I've seen witches do this curse can be easily compared to a teenagers prank. Not a second after Bobby is done thinking that does he see how wrong he was.


They really need to kill this bitch. Is their single thought as the girl Dean struck out with comes up to Bobby and starts hitting on him.

Now the thing about this girl is that she was already practically jailbait for Dean to be hitting on. For Bobby it's like having his granddaughter hitting on him.

He turns towards the boys with a horrified, and slightly panicked, look on his face.

Unfortunately for him though the boys are too busy picking up the pieces of their brains off the floor to help.

"Ummm…listen" Bobby says gently as he tries to pry her arm off of his. "I'm sure you're a real nice young lady and all but…" He doesn't get to finish as the girl interrupts him, with her mouth. Bobby bodily yanks her off of himself by her shoulders, throws down some cash for the drinks, grabs the boys and runs out of the bar like a bat out of hell. He hopes to hell that Angel has the good sense to follow.

Back at the motel the boys are steadily depleting their supply of 'hunters helper'.

"Ugh! I need eyeball bleach." Dean says after a rather long gulp.

"And memory bleach." Sam adds dejectedly from his corner around the top of his bottle.

"Or we can just torture the bitch before we gank her. " Angel adds thoughtfully around her own bottle.

Dean looks up hopefully and points at her while looking at Sam with his eyebrows raised as if to say 'now there's an idea!'. He looks like a kid at christmas.

Sam just snorts around his bottle "We are not torturing her Dean." He says in a placating tone one would usually use with small children. "At least not yet anyways." Sam says as an afterthought when he remembers he's been turned into a girl. Hey! I almost forgot I was a girl! Finally! I'm getting drunk! He notes silently to his bottle. You truly are a hunter's helper.

"I'm gonna shove my fist in that bitch's mouth." Angel seethes as she takes a large swallow.

That's the last coherent thought for a while in that motel room. Anyone looking inside would think they were all in some drinking contest for 'who could get drunk the fastest?'.


The Next Day…

When they do finally find the bitch, they're all severely hung over and off their game. Dean's on the ground-puking frogs, I bet Balthazar would get a kick out of this, he thinks absently. Sam has just got a taste of what girls have to really deal with every month, he's in so much pain he can't believe it. All of hell and I'm reduced to a quivering mess by my period? The oddity of that thought does not escape him. And Bobby's in Dean's heaven. He's being swamped and chassed by hot girls young enough to be his granddaughter. And he's running for his life, but damn they're fast in heels Sam thinks with awe, cuz one day and he was tripping all over the place just trying to walk much less run.

Sam's looking around franticly, how the fuck are we gonna get out of this one? He thinks.

Then suddenly it all stops, the girls, the pain, the frogs, gone. Poof.

Sam, Dean and Bobby look over to see Angel's got the witch in a chokehold with her fist actually shoved in her mouth.

She grins at the boys, "See? Told ya I'd shove my fist in the bitch's mouth. Ya forgot about me huh bitch?" she asks the witch with an evil sort of glee in her tone.

The witch just narrows her eyes and tries to bit down on the hand in her mouth. Angel just tightens her hold on the witch's throat until she stops. "Come on Uncle Bobby we ain't got all day!"

"Yeah, yeah." Bobby shuffles over towards the witch wearily. He starts up a small fire, adds herbs and a bit of the witch's hair, then begins the incantation to reverse the spells.

When the spells are reversed Angel pushes the witch away, they all simultaneously pull out their guns and empty their clips in her. They salt and burn her somewhere on Woodstock hill.

When they're about a mile out side town Dean proclaims vehemently, "we never talk about this. EVER."

It's not a question but everyone voices their assent.

The End.


Sequel? Spin off? to this is called 'Back To The Future'.