Forgive and Forget

Pairing: Kogan

Rating: T (for now)

Summary: *Set during/after Big Time Merch.* Logan is tired of being the least important in the group, so he goes back home to Texas. The guys follow him, in hopes of changing his mind, but when they arrive they notice some changes in Logan. Can they convince him to come back?

Chapter 1: Fed Up

"We said we were sorry!"

The words echoed in my mind.

Sorry.

Sorry my ass.

I hated the idea of selling these products, mostly because they brought up terrible memories of my past. It's no secret that I'm the least popular in the group, but nobody really notices how much it affects me. Even my friends once hated me. They pulled terrible pranks on me; like the time in third grade when they pulled my pants down in the middle of the cafeteria. Or the time they glued me to my seat in math class. Or the time they sent me a fake e-mail from the school board telling me that there was a Come-To-School-In-Your-Underwear day. Yes, I was pretty stupid to fall for that one but still. Always the same excuse.

'Sorry.' I'm pretty sure the only one who even partially meant it was Kendall.

Kendall.

I shook my head. 'Stop it, Logan. He's with Lucy. Or at least, he will be. Besides, you have Camille.' I chuckle darkly to myself. She doesn't really love me. She loves the acting practice. Don't get me wrong, we're friends and all, but it's been fairly obvious to me for a while now that the only part of our relationship she's really into is the drama. At least one of us is happy.

Not only is my so-called 'girlfriend' using me, the guys are as well. I can't sing, I can't dance, I'm not charming, I'm a nerd- the only reason I'm still in this stupid band is because, according to Griffin, statistics show that boy bands do better when there are four or more members.

What a load of bullshit.

Nearly everybody around me has admitted at least once that they want me gone. Everybody except one. I suddenly see two hands clap in front of my face.

"Yo! Logan! You there?" Kendall inquires. I snap myself out of it, looking straight in the face of my best friend.

"Yeah, fine. I was somewhere else." I replied.

"Lucky." I hear Carlos mumble from two seats over. We're on our way back to the Palmwoods after that awful meeting with Griffin about the new BTR merchandise. James groans.

"Guys, what are we going to do about this? I cannot have people laughing at me! This" he motions to himself. "Is not the kind of face people should be laughing at."

God, he's so conceited.

"James, this isn't all about you."

Thank you.

"But, he's not wrong." Carlos turns to me. "Logan, you're used to being laughed at. How would you deal with it?" I shoot him a death glare and Kendall does the same. Carlos shrinks back in fear.

"We can fix this." Kendall interjected, obviously irritated. "We've been is way worse than this. But we won't solve anything by simply bugging Logan." With that, the car is silent all the way home.

The next evening, I'm lying on my bed, thinking about the events of today. I say the events, I really mean what the guys said. 'We said we were sorry.' Same as yesterday, only this time it was about the time in summer camp. Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry doesn't fucking change what happened.

Once again, my rambling train of thought is interrupted by my optimistic roomate, who knocks on the door.

"Logan? You in here?" His head peaks into the room and there's a small smile on his face.

"You okay?" I nod once and sit up. Kendall moves across the room and sits across from me on my bed.

"Alright, now do you want to tell me the truth?" I groan and fall back on the pillows, hitting the back of my skull on the headboard. Kendall has to choke back a laugh. Rubbing my head, I use my free hand to smack him on the elbow.

"I'm fine, Kendall. It's nothing." I tell him, tucking my cold feet under the covers. Kendall gives me a look.

"How long are you going to keep this up?" He asked me. Moving swiftly, I bury myself in the sheets, completely submerging myself.

"Until you go away." I mumble. There's a beat of silence, then I feel an enormous weight on top of me, smothering me against the bed. I try to squirm out of it, but he's too heavy.

"Kendall!" I screech. Though I'm smashed against the mattress, I can just see the smirk on his face.

"I'm not letting you up until you tell me what's wrong." I hear him announce and I huff out a sigh. Another beat of stillness, then I shout

"Well, I can't tell you anything when your butt is on my face!" Kendall quickly jumps off me and I move to peek my head out of the covers. Kendall's sitting at the edge of my bed, looking very similar to an excitable puppy. I sigh once again and sit upright.

"I'm tired of being put last. Least important. Nearly everybody has said at least once that they want me gone from the group. I don't belong here. I never did." I say all in one breath. Kendall stares at me with a blank expression on his face. There's a long silence between us before I suddenly find myself face-to-face with Kendall's pillow.

"Ow!" I said, over-dramatically rubbing my forehead. "Wanna tell me why you just assaulted me with a bag of feathers?" I ask, smiling a little. Kendall is laughing and he has to calm himself down for a moment.

"Least important? Are you kidding me? Logan, without you, some of us wouldn't even know our ABC's all the way through." I chuckle softly. Oh, Carlos. Kendall continues,

"Logan, if anything, you're the most important. You are to me, at least." My heart leaps at that last part but I try to hide it. Kendall, unnoticing, goes on. "Screw everybody else, you have worked your butt off to be a doctor and now you're a famous singer." I cock an eyebrow at his logic. He shakes his head once.

"I just meant that, well, you're famous now. People all around the world know your name. And you have a great girlfriend who-" I cut him off with a glare. "Okay, bad example. Look, all I'm saying is…. You should be happy. A lot of people would kill to be where you are now. And you've earned your way to be here. So, take the stick out of your ass, and enjoy it." I chortle slightly.

"Fame isn't everything, y'know…" I trail off, while Kendall picks up his pillow once again.

"You want some more feathers in that mouth?" I shake my head and mime locking my lips. This makes Kendall laugh aloud.

"Good boy. Now, I'm going to bed. Before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed. Or worse, expelled!" He finished in a horrible, fake British accent. I throw my head back in laughter; he would mock my favorite movie after a conversation like this.

"Goodnight, Blondie." I replied, settling in under the covers.

"Goodnight….. DORK." He jokes.

I smile sadly to myself before drifting off to a troubled slumber.