Hello, my name is Mike. Mike Schmidt. I'm about 30, live by myself, and do practically any legal job I can come across that people will hire me for. Which, aside from a few single dollars for dishwashing for 5 hours, you'd be surprised at how few jobs like that there actually are without a college degree. So much for 'land of opportunity', eh? Well, it could be worse. I could be mistaken for a homeless person, beaten up and almost thrown into a river whilst also being showed into a sack with jagged rocks and broken bricks. Again.
Did I mention that I don't exactly have high standards when it comes to getting by? Because I don't. Because that just gets someone bigger and stronger and richer and better than you in every way in society's eyes ticked off at you somehow down the line and you end up almost thrown into a sack with broken rocks like an unwanted puppy.
Did I mention that I have a tendency to repeat myself? Because yeah. That too.
But back to the real reason I'm doing this. I... there's no easy way to put this, but, I think... that I might be going crazy.
I can't sleep at night without hearing this weird laughter, feeling like I'm getting constricted by snakes made out of barbwire strings, stuck in pitch black nowhere. And when I apply to work at this place, I get looks like the people there already know me or something. It's freaking me out, since I've never even been to that part of town before, yet this one janitor asked me how I could keep coming back, week after week.
Maybe I'm not crazy, but that would mean everyone else in that restaurant is, including the manager... And surprisingly, though I am okay with that, I kind of doubt that many people would be crazy about the same thing so consistently.
Freaky as the people there can be, what's really kind of off-putting are the attractions. These weird animal things, some sort of robots or something. Animatronics, I think this one dopey sounding fella told me. Or was that a pamphlet? Why do I feel like that duck had cupcakes watching me?
Ah, I'm just being paranoid- Oh yeah, I'm a paranoia fanatic, according to anyone with a medical degree who's had a session with me has concluded. Not really nice, but hey, at least it's consistent.
Unlike my memory.
I seem to forget things all the time, and with these nightmares as of late, maybe it's a good thing this new job is at night. I hear it's not as boring as staring at a tablet and trying not to play Angry Birds sounds on the surface. I start my job tomorrow, so here's to hoping those guys are right.
