Chapter 1
My Man
I don't own Power Rangers or Funny Girl.
Disclaimer: This is actually an alternate route for the story Any Moment. This story picks up after chapter 36 of that one and if you have not read it you will probably be confused.
Just a head's up.
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"I think," he began slowly so nothing could get lost in translation because if he considered the events of the past few hours that was plausible. "I am in hate with you."
Normally he wouldn't throw around a word as strong as hate (unless he was referring to Lothor because, yeah, evil space ninja's trying to take over the world deserved that at the very least) but Shane honestly couldn't think of a better way to get his point across.
Also Hunter may have rubbed his affinity for badass dramatics off on him, but they weren't asking and he wasn't going to volunteer it.
Dustin shot him a hurt look from Cam's side, having the decency to at least look affected by Shane's comment but the red ranger refused to let it bother him. Cam, as expected, sent him a brief look of annoyance before he continued his work on the…sparky wall of wires from which Cyber Cam seemed to operate. Shane glared at him a little harder on the offhand chance that shooting lasers out of his eyes was just one of his undiscovered ranger abilities.
As of yet, they were not.
He switched his tactics to hoping something would burn the tech's finger, and Dustin continued to look sadly between them, occasionally handing things to Cam when prompted.
The green ranger had yet to try to defend himself, but that's probably because he'd figured out how fantastically stupid this whole situation was in the first place. Or perhaps he was still dedicated to avoiding Shane.
Well, if that's what he wanted, that is not what he's going to get. Shane had had enough of this no-talk, hope-for-the-best nonsense and clearly it wasn't working. Stuff like this was a problem, and it was a problem they probably could have avoided had they engaged in the simple act of communicating. But no, Shane had respected Cam's need for space and then all hell broke loose. He could deal with Dustin looking sad, at least for now, because by the end of this freaking night they are going to have this crap worked out and then no one was going to be unhappy because he said so god dammit.
If he had to tie Cam to a freaking chair they are going to work this out.
He had Hunter's approval at least, if he didn't have Dustin's. The blond had given him a knowing look followed by a slow nod whenever he figured Shane was staying behind and then he promptly whisked himself away off into the world that was Hunter. Or maybe he was just read him wrong, but Shane would like to think that at least someone had his back. Team functionality was important, they had a problem, and he was going to address it.
And then he's going to rail on the tech for Cyber Cam, because seriously, that guy's a jerk.
…or maybe he'll do that now, because he's still a little bit angry and it's hard to engage in some serious, emotional talkings when the one thing you desire most is to punch your teammate in the face.
Really hard.
Like, really hard.
"Dude," Dustin plead, brows furrowed at the steaming waves of anger Shane was pointing at his boyfriend. "It was an accident; you couldn't have done any better."
Shane frowned, opened his mouth, and shut it again, because yes, yes he could have. Because he would have told his team and not kept the project about a working clone super-secret and then he wouldn't have made it a clone. And if he had made it a clone he would have made it the nicest-nice-nice-Santa-Clause-Jesus-Martha-Stewart-so-sweet-you-want-nothing-more-then-to-kill-them person/halogram/thing it could possibly be. Or he would have made it have blue hair or something. Or talk like a robot. Or be required to say "Hey, I'm a robot, not your friend, please don't assume as much and have many bad feelings over it when I inevitably act like a tool". Or maybe he would have tried to share his duties that were requiring him to build a cyber replicate (and he had to muffle a laugh at that one because it was so far into fantasy land (which is conveniently right next to backwards land)) or maybe he would have checked the thing before he turned it on so things like it going AWOL wouldn't happen.
Or he wouldn't have made it a clone, because, gahhh, he can't even think in coherent sentences anymore.
Dustin's sadness had mixed hints of worry, and Shane took a moment to breathe because this wasn't helping anybody.
When he opened his eyes again Dustin still looked concerned and Cam had ceased working behind him to spare him a brief glance and immediately resumed his task when Shane caught him doing it.
The red ranger tried to put up another glare for a minute but sighed instead, flopping down beside Dustin as he ran a hand through his hair tiredly. The brunette immediately reached out and squeezed the side of his arm, and Shane gave him a smile to let him know that he did have some good intentions here.
Though it seemed like a lot of good intentions were going astray nowadays.
Dustin glanced Cam's way very quickly before he leaned forward, secretive. "He didn't mean for it to happen," he whispered, though it was a moot point because Dustin + whispering was never really a working combination, but Cam didn't show that he was bothered by the quiet meeting. Dustin frowned and leaned forward some more, chin resting against the red cotton on Shane's shoulder. "I forgave him."
Shane doesn't have to look in Dustin's eyes to know that he meant it, because there is nothing but the purist sincerity in his tone that makes something ache deep within the red ranger. He turned his head away slowly, not wanting to see it, but grabbed Dustin's spare hand to let him know he understood.
The yellow ranger responded with a small squeeze and flopped himself against Shane with a content sigh, mimicking the way they used to be before he had been dumped for Cam.
It was an unfair thought but he couldn't shake it, so he tried to distract himself with what was important now.
"That's not what I'm mad about, Dustin," he whispered back, loud enough to include Cam. If the green ranger wasn't going to cooperate, fine, they would just have to sneak analyze him. They were ninja's, they could make it work.
Dustin frowned, thinking, and then an idea lit up behind his eyes, causing him to lean towards Shane excitedly. "Is it because of the not-talking thing?" he asked; face eager as his eyes darted back and forth between the two rangers in question. He whispered into Shane's shoulder, "You've been doing a lot of that."
Shane was honestly taken aback by the comment and out of the corner of his eye he could see Cam freeze to, halting suddenly at the accusation. He hadn't thought Dustin had noticed, though if he thought about it objectively and didn't allow his emotions distract him, he supposed it made perfect sense. He and Cam were the people closest to Dustin; the yellow ranger didn't just care about how they interacted with him, he watched for how they interacted with each other.
Because before that hadn't been a problem. Before they had been a happy little unit of people, but then they…then the rules were changed and Cam wasn't talking to him, and he had felt too strange about the situation to try to approach the green ranger at all.
And of course Dustin had picked up on it all, confused and concerned and slightly more than bothered by the change in the status quo. Shane's not sure why that particular thought shook him up more than the others and he illogically hoped that Dustin won't pinpoint the exact time things started to change for reasons he can't really articulate, even in the safety of his mind.
Dustin was still looking on earnestly, full attention on Shane, and Cam forced himself back to work, determined to prove he is unaffected. Shane wanted to glare at him some more but Dustin tugged the sleeve of his shirt and pulled back his focus.
When all else failed, less is more, so Shane gives Dustin a simple nod, and quietly whispered, "Yeah."
Because he knew Dustin would be more than willing to pick up the conversation, effectively keeping him from volunteering information he would rather keep to himself. The yellow ranger took his cue easily, mind storming up possibilities.
"Are you mad at him?" he asked, clearly bothered by the idea, and Cam faltered again, posed as though he was mulling over the positioning of some very important knob-thing.
There were a lot of things he could say to that, but he was tired, and he had to keep it simple, so he shook his head slowly. "No."
He wasn't mad at Cam.
…okay, so he was a little angry, or maybe he was just betrayed. Betrayed and…used, a little, because Cam didn't need him anymore, not when he had Dustin and…
No, he wasn't mad at Cam. He had decided he was not mad at Cam. If Cam doesn't want to talk to him again ever that's fine, but he's not going to waste his time and energy holding a grudge to someone who obviously couldn't care less…
"Dude," Dustin murmured, eyebrows raised, "you don't look exactly happy."
He glared at the yellow ranger and immediately regretted it, hugging him tight before any new problems could arise (they had enough to deal with as it was) and Dustin got it, patting his chest reassuringly. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Cam glare at him and he fought to restrain the urge to stick out his tongue.
Seriously. Enough. To. Deal. With.
"I'm not mad," he repeated, not even bothering himself with whispering anymore, not that anyone looked particularly bothered by the change.
Dustin tilted his head in thought, curls brushing against the bottom of Shane's chin. "But you're not-"
And since the rest of that sentence was probably going to reiterate the fact that he wasn't happy Shane cut in, changing the subject before they could get stuck in a continuous loop. "I didn't start this," he urged, glaring at Cam pointedly, waiting for some kind of response. The tech simply kept to his wall, eyes firmly glued to his magical wires.
Apparently this was the right move to make because this gets Dustin thinking, his head turned to face Cam slowly, and while the tech could ignore Shane until the cows came home Dustin could not be stonewalled.
"Hey," he called gently, as though he Cam was actually all consumed with his work and he didn't want to startle him, "are you mad at Shane?"
The world stopped for a moment and Cam looked at Dustin uneasily, pliers gripped tightly in his hand. Finally Shane would get to know what went awry, or if he was dumped, or how Cam actually felt about the whole mess. Seconds ticked by, crawling by with the utmost sloth, dragging, and Cam eventually turned his head, looking at Shane for the first time.
What was behind those eyes shocked him, a look of anger and betrayal and hurt that mirrored, if not surpassed his own. Like somehow when it all went down this was his fault, like he was the one who did something wrong, and Shane struggled back against it, his previous bitterness melting away into concern.
Perhaps somewhere down the line there were other things they had miscommunicated.
He should probably be more concerned that Dustin had chosen to remain silent during the exchange, perhaps to allow them to work this out themselves. It was odd to see him as the observer, but he kept to his quiet, eyes darting back and forth between the two power players of his world.
Shane wondered how it felt to be trapped in such an awkward limbo.
"No," Cam eventually managed, not even looking like he half-heartedly meant it, "I'm not."
He wasn't sure if this could even compare to the level of stupidity that the Cyber Cam fiasco had inhabited. Maybe it did, maybe it didn't, but for two guys who just admitted to no ill will between them there was…an awful lot of negative feelings still between them.
Now if they could just talk it wouldn't be a problem.
And since the odds of getting Cam to open up first could somewhat be compared to the odds of Lothor calling it quits Shane decided to take the initiative, beginning to sort through the unspoken mumbo jumbo they had accumulated over the past couple of weeks. And perhaps whatever had started up before.
"What did I do wrong?" He asked, beseeching with as much honesty as he could show without making Cam feel suspicious (because the very idea of someone accommodating themselves for him (Dustin aside) is cause for being committed).
The green ranger simply furrowed his brows as he kept his eyes locked on Shane's, only addressing Dustin with a brief look before returning his attention back to Shane.
"Nothing," he murmured, when the tension became too high, and he turned back towards his wall, grappling for a tool blindly with his left hand.
"Dude," Dustin broke in, disbelief clear in his voice, "there's something up man, just talk to us."
Please Cam, Shane thought, just say something
He didn't know how much time they were killing just waiting for Cam to answer. To give them something and Shane had to fight to hold it back, to not ask why Cam didn't tell him he was gay or why he didn't trust him or if he was really just some kind of replacement or if he just couldn't be bothered by such worldly things at all.
And it would all be going much faster if Cam would just open up his mouth.
The minutes tick by and no one moved, no one wanted to break the spell of contemplation that had fallen over them. Cam's grip tightened around the screwdriver he had picked up, knuckles white, and he suddenly dropped it altogether, leaving it to clatter loudly against the ground. He pressed his forehead against the side of the wall panel, keeping his head turned away as he took some steady breaths.
When he finally turned back to face them, Shane knew the time for talking had arrived.
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Cam may or may not have contemplated flat-out lying to two of the people he held most dear in the world to be granted the simplicity of solace. The easiest route would guarantee renewed harmony, bonding, and multiple opportunities for their relationships to grow and while he had every intention of taking that route (compelled with very little persuasion), were he to be honest, he had to at least realize the true answers to Shane's questions.
And then he came to realize very abruptly, and fully deserving the amount of dread that had built up since his not-so shining moment in the skate park, that the real answers to these questions were wrong in almost every context. And as…vile, as he was willing to admit he was, coming clean about any of this would prove beneficial to no one.
So while lying was the route to go, he still had to…take a moment to process it all.
First things first, was he mad at Shane?
Answer, surprisingly and unquestionably, yes.
He was mad at Shane. And the very act of being angry with the red ranger had driven him to wits end. He shouldn't be mad. He had no reason to be angry. And despite his justifications and attempts to rationalize he couldn't reign in the unreasonable emotion. The frustration he felt, this sorrow was such the opposite to all the feelings that Dustin elicited in him that he often found himself bounced from one emotional extreme to the other, left with little spare time to pick up the pieces in between. It seemed that Shane was easily capable of reducing him into an incompetent mess.
So when he finally tired of the futile act of being frustrated with his anger Cam decided to discern the cause of it, the reasoning behind it.
His discovery…while not entirely surprising brought forth a new anger, though this time entirely aimed at himself.
He was in love with Shane.
Denying it at this point would be pointless and he was just sick of lying to himself, he was, without a doubt, in love with the red ranger.
And he was mad that Shane had teased him. He was mad that he deluded himself with the idea that Shane had loved him back. He was mad that Shane had shared his bed so easily. He was mad that Shane hadn't fought for him. He was mad that the other didn't love him back. He was mad that he was mad. He was mad that he was even feeling this at all.
Dustin (whether he knew it or not) had shown him what love was, what it felt like, how it functioned in the real world. He gave it every day, unashamedly, and Cam gave it back, just as fierce because he knew he loved Dustin too. He knew that he would be willing to die for that smile and he knew that he would do anything to keep him happy and he knew that the very idea of him not wanting to be there, or simply not being there would be enough for Cam to fall completely to pieces. These things he knew.
And it took him a few days longer to figure out that all those feelings, everything he had for Dustin he had for Shane as well.
He didn't know when it happened, he didn't know when they snuck under his skin and intertwined themselves so deeply with his being that he couldn't even function without them, he just knew it happened.
It had been a source for concern…when he first came clean about it.
He wanted to take comfort in the idea of being confused, that he was just inexperienced and taking what he could get but…
No, he wasn't confused. He was a genius, and the feelings he had for Shane and Dustin were stronger and vastly different then any he had for other people. None of the other rangers even came close in comparison; Shane and Dustin were distinctly unique.
And because it was obvious that matters of the heart were… messy, strange, and foreign, Cam had opted to approach this situation as logically as he could muster. Standard social practices dictated that a person was limited to being in a romantic relationship with one person at a time. There was no rebel faction stating any differently, that was simply how it was. Love, as rare as it was, could only occur between two people. It would be too greedy to do otherwise. While Cam hadn't figured out his love for Shane before he and Dustin started dating, in all honesty, he couldn't picture this happening any other way.
Dustin needed someone, he needed someone as badly as Cam needed a break from his solace, and they were a perfect fit. If Shane…even if Shane had some fondness for Cam, the tech knew that he would rather the green ranger take care of Dustin then pursue a relationship with him. Shane simply didn't need him as much. Shane didn't need either one of them as much. Shane had a family who loved him and the full support of the team behind him. Shane had a place in the world; he was easily accepted by all members of society. He was charmingly charismatic, practical, and strong.
Shane was a well-balanced person who had stood alone before and could do it again, just as easily.
Cam and Dustin on the other hand…
They could never go back to the way they were before. It simply wasn't an option for them. They were too codependent, too needy, too fearful of loneliness. Being apart was too painful and idea to even think of, let alone act on.
He wasn't sure if he should tell Dustin. He wasn't sure if he should tell Shane. He wasn't sure if he just closed his eyes long enough if the feeling would go away and he wasn't sure if keeping his silence was doing more harm than good.
But he was sure that if he was ever going to go about making a confession, it would be on his own terms.
It would not be today.
Today he had to be a very good liar and come up with a passable reason as to why he was avoiding Shane that the red ranger wouldn't doubt.
The words came out of his mouth slowly, as though he were fighting for them, choosing them with the utmost care. "I thought…" so far so good, "based on your…reaction in the lab," he didn't need to specify the 'when I beat up Hunter' part, "you didn't…approve of our relationship."
There was a very good chance the red ranger had simply been in shock over the sudden change but Cam had to work with what he had. Presenting a feeling of muted betrayal as a source of aversion was far better than the actual feelings of confusion and doubt that had motivated his choices. It would be reasonable to assume from there that Shane simply reacted in kind, mimicking Cam's actions out of respect.
Then they would see it was simply a miscommunication and things could go back to the way they were, no more problems or tension.
Shane, as predicted, picked up his cue perfectly, "I wasn't…" he trailed off, sadness leaking into his eyes at the thought of making Cam feel that way, "I was just shocked," he explained.
Genuine, nothing but truth and honesty and Cam pushed down that swelling feeling of guilt and moved onward, making himself look relieved that he had supposedly misunderstood.
Oh what a tangled web we weave.
Still riding on their heart-to-heart Shane happily picked back up, his own betrayal seeping into his voice. "Why didn't you tell me you were gay?"
Cam doesn't have to act out the shock that he felt at the question, eyes wide when he realized how hurt Shane had been by his secrecy.
"I didn't realize…it wasn't until Hunter…" he shook his head in frustration; slipping down beside Dustin, "it didn't…click until they left us and…the idea of him…" he paused and took a deep breath to center himself. "All I knew was that I wanted you and I…" he looked back up at Shane whose face is once again unreadable, "I didn't know before, and I'm sorry I…" another breath, deep and cleansing, "I would have told you if I had known."
And he would have, he wouldn't have allowed Shane to…he wouldn't have used him like he had and he tried, tried desperately to convey this through his eyes.
Somehow it got through.
Somehow for once in his life he has mastered silent communication and Shane relaxed against the wall, sending him a quiet smile that showed he understood completely.
God he loves him. He will probably never get over that.
"So…" Dustin interrupted, smile bright enough to light the entire room, "are we good now?"
As much as Cam wanted to tell him no, as much as he knew was still broken, he just didn't have the heart to do anything but smile back, leaning into his boyfriend happily.
There would be other days to contemplate the mess of the world.
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Endnotes:
So, just to be clear, the whole "Cyber Cam taking over the sprinkler system" didn't happen in this version and instead of leaving Shane chose to stay and confront Cam about his silent treatment, as where in the other he left with Hunter.
Feedback is appreciated and loved!
Until next time.
