Disclaimer: I own neither Numb or Twilight, and all respect is given to those that do. Especially to Linkin Park.
I'M TIRED OF BEING WHAT YOU WANT ME TO BE
FEELING SO FAITHLESS
LOST UNDER THE SURFACE
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE EXPECTING OF ME
PUT UNDER THE PRESSURE
OF WALKING IN YOUR SHOES
My mom was shouting at me again, though I can't see the problem as usual. I had gotten a B on my homework for Spanish, which is my worst subject, but apparently that isn't good enough for my mom.
[CAUGHT IN THE UNDERTOW/
JUST CAUGHT IN THE UNDERTOW]
EVERY STEP THAT I TAKE IS
ANOTHER MISTAKE TO YOU
I love art, I've applied for a couple of art schools, places where I can focus on making it big time. But of course my mom doesn't want to shell out for something she thinks won't go anywhere. She's never even looked at my work, nor noticed the fact that I won the state art competition. The prize at nationals is a full scholarship to an Ivy League school.
I'VE
BECOME SO NUMB
I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE
BECOME SO TIRED
SO MUCH MORE AWARE
I'M BECOMING THIS
ALL I WANT TO DO
IS BE MORE LIKE ME
AND BE LESS LIKE YOU
My friends laugh that I'm so much like my mom, short with black hair and an evil temper if something gets me going. But I'm not my mom, which is probably why I'm here now, in a church, drawing.
CAN'T YOU SEE THAT YOU'RE SMOTHERING ME
HOLDING TOO TIGHTLY
AFRAID TO LOSE CONTROL
'CAUSE EVERYTHING THAT YOU THOUGHT I WOULD BE
HAS FALLEN APART RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU
She had planned on me becoming a lawyer or doctor, something 'respectable', not an artist. She doesn't know about the paintings that I have sold under a pseudonym for a couple of grand each.
[CAUGHT IN THE UNDERTOW/
JUST CAUGHT IN THE UNDERTOW]
EVERY STEP THAT I TAKE IS
ANOTHER MISTAKE TO YOU
[CAUGHT IN THE UNDERTOW/
JUST CAUGHT IN THE UNDERTOW]
AND EVERY SECOND I WASTE
IS MORE THAN I CAN TAKE
My boyfriend, Jasper, has noticed that I'm not focusing as well as I usually do. He's right; I can't stop thinking about the problem with my mom. I wish I had a mom like his. She fully supports his art; she even offered to drive us both to the competitions, including all our artwork. I decided to ask if I could stop with him for a while.
After school I went to mine to get some of my stuff. When I went into the loft to try and find some boxes them; paintings, lots of them. They were all signed with my mom's initials.
BUT I KNOW
I MAY END UP FAILING TOO
BUT I KNOW
YOU WERE JUST LIKE ME
WITH SOMEONE DISAPPOINTED IN YOU
Her mom had thrown her out when she refused to give up her hope of becoming a wealthy artist living in the bliss of creational dreams, so instead of trying to support me she crushed me too, because that's what her mom had done to her. That when I decided that I was never coming back to this house again, never going to sit down to dinner to be torn apart by the one person that should have supported me no matter what.
That was twenty years ago.
I'm now married to Jasper; we have twins, one boy, and one girl. We live in Forks, Washington, near to the rest of his family. And we made it, we both won our categories in the national competition and got commissions thrown at us left, right and centre. I never looked back.
