Remember Me

Chapter 1 The beginning in the middle

Kaito always wondered if he'd ever get his memories back. He wouldn't say it out loud and he'd never sulk about it, he'd never let it show on his face but he really wondered if he'd be stuck here forever. Sure, at one point he'd been really curious about his past life – what kind of person had he been, what kind of job did he have, did he have a girlfriend or was he more of the affair type? What kind of things had he been interested in? Was he maybe a criminal? A law-abiding citizen?

He couldn't say. Though they said that certain traits survived even death he didn't know if he just picked it up or if it was his character. He couldn't even really remember when it was that he died, either. After a while, things and memories would get blurry and he'd forget – trapping him here forever. So maybe, if things stuck with him he didn't just pick them up but it was his character. Of course, he didn't know for sure and while at first he would have done everything to find out about it – about him – he simply didn't care anymore. Maybe eternity wouldn't be too bad either since they always took his memories anyway.

It was raining again. Since it always, or as far as he could remember always, kind of put him into a rather melancholy mood he wondered if maybe rain had something to do with his death. They also said that his death would never let him go completely, there would always be hints at how he died and if he just looked closely enough, he'd be able to figure them out. So, if rain got him emotional, did it maybe have something to do with his death? Did he maybe drown? But then – wouldn't he be scared of the rain? Wouldn't he panic? He didn't feel panic at all, though, he was just emotional but at ease, he felt a certain longing he couldn't describe really. It was like he missed something, someone maybe but who knew for sure?

Still, the rain felt somewhat soothing and sitting on the porch behind the house calmed him. And that was saying a lot. Usually, he was boisterous, couldn't sit still for even a second. He loved tricking people, teasing and pranking them. Sometimes he wondered if maybe he was a serial prankster and that was what got him killed? But that thought never stayed long enough for him to chase after it and see if maybe that would lead him somewhere.

He kind of doubted that the rain had something to do with his death because it put the restless side of him at ease and he could sit down and just let his thoughts flow. He'd start thinking about the past he could remember and the future that might await him and about all the things he didn't want to forget but knew that it was in vain. One day he wouldn't know that he never wanted to forget it even though he had to acknowledge that those memories got less and less with every passing day and maybe that should have scared him.

They also said that ghosts without any memories – old or recent – would decay and become monsters. They'd become those ghosts that haunt people and harm them and scare them. They weren't just mythology, just a tale, they were actually pretty real and Kaito never really wanted to get close to another one again. He also never wanted to become one of them.

Maybe the reason that he didn't really care about that was because Kudo had been here far longer than he and he was still the gentlest ghost he could imagine to ever exist. He wasn't really too sure how long Kudo had been around or if he really was that much older than him but even if he couldn't remember, he got the feeling that that feeling of his was right. Hattori hasn't been around as long as Kudo but longer than Kaito himself and he, too, wasn't a brainless decay yet so maybe if they always stayed together, none of them would lose their mind. Maybe if they forever made memories together they'd never lose all of them. Though, that was just a theory.

Sometimes he wished he could feel again – just once. Not this feeling in his chest that at times was so heavy he could barely breathe even though he, in fact, didn't breathe anymore but a true feeling, a touch, a kiss, warmth, cold, anything would be fine with him. He'd love to feel the rain drops on his skin, chilling him to the bone, soaking him through and getting him ill but it would be so worth it.

Maybe he just wished to live and unfortunately that wasn't possible anymore.

Some people said that ghost like him became that as a sort of punishment – usually people who committed suicide would end up like this. But other people said that a brutal murder or a sudden death could leave them here just as possibly because their human sides couldn't let go just yet. Some people said that they still had to do something. Making a promise come true, seeing someone for the last time, things like that that would keep them bound to this plane forever until they fulfilled their purpose. And then there's people like Kudo who said that all they had to do was find their murderers – because he was so sure that they'd been killed – or remember their past – he couldn't really decide on one – and it'd finally break the spell and set them free. He'd reason with the sudden death theory but Kaito didn't really know what to think of it. He's not seen anyone cross the planes but he couldn't say for sure since he didn't remember either. So maybe Kudo was right. Or maybe he was wrong.

Of course, Kaito acknowledged that Kudo and Hattori, both of them were rather smart. They were reading Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Ellerie Queen – and then they were actually arguing for hours who was the better author because Kudo only liked Sherlock Holmes and Hattori didn't. Kaito'd usually retreat with his Lupin books and read in solitude. Still, the point was, that those guys, at some point in their lives, had been huge nerds. Maybe they'd been officers, detectives, lawyers or some other highly smart people. They also loved murder – in this life and Kaito really hoped that that is not what got them killed on way or another because that would mean that a murder was the link to their memories if Kudo's theory was right.

Sighing, Kaito didn't usually like to think about these things since he couldn't really change them anyway. Usually, he'd prank his housemates Kudo and Hattori or prank whoever tried to move into the house – honestly, if was the funniest thing in the entire world to prank people as a ghost. He could imagine that as a human himself he might have not liked it – but from a ghost's perspective it was hilarious. Usually, Hattori would join in, too, because mostly he was bored and pranking was rather fun. Kudo, though, he'd just roll his eyes and retreat to the library. Kaito could tell that the oldest sometimes really sympathized with the poor human victim but couldn't really bring himself to care too much anyway.

The way Kudo behaved, Kaito was pretty sure that he would have stopped them if this being a ghost forever didn't bug him, too, even if just a tiny bit. Kudo simply wasn't the guy to intentionally hurt a human or let anyone else do it while he was in the room even if Kaito wouldn't say what they did hurt anyone. It was just fun. Mostly anyway.

"Oi, Kudo, look at this. Kuroba is sulking!"

Kaito turned around sharply and scowled at the dark-skinned man.

Some things did transcend death, though, as Hattori's dark skin showed pretty well. They always wondered where he was from and why he ended up dying in the Tokyo suburbs because having dark skin was rather unusual but Kaito didn't care too much since when they had searched they hadn't been able to find out anything, anyway. Maybe it was just a weird phenomenon and not important anyway.

Though, this miscreant was making fun of him again and he couldn't have that, now could he?

"I was just watching the rain and hoping someone would get lost, stumble upon this house and I could prank them. Haven't done that in a while. Come to think of it, your hair sure could use a new color, don't you think, Hattori?"

Grinning menacingly, Kaito grabbed a pink bottle from the air (maybe he used to be a magician because he was really good at that but nah, not possible) and walked threateningly towards Heiji.

Heiji, of course, wasn't scared though having been victim of Kuroba's countless relentless prank attacks he knew what to expect. He took out the bokken he quite liked – maybe he used to be a martial artist in his previous life – and got into a battle stance. If a battle was what Kuroba was looking for, then a battle is what he'd get.

Besides, he'd been really bored lately anyway. Kudo was no fun for whatever reason, always keeping himself in his study doing whatever (usually he was really interested but this time Kudo was getting too obsessed with something he had no interest in) – alright it was soccer, Heiji hated soccer and reasoned that that was what killed him. Why else would he hate it so much? There was no other explanation but then again he still didn't regain his memories and left this place so maybe soccer had nothing to do with his death, after all. But Heiji was rather convinced that soccer was somehow involved. It must have!

So, getting to fight Kuroba who also seemingly always very much enjoyed their chase, was a welcome change of pace again.

Unfortunately though, it never came to a chase – the front door suddenly opened with a bang and a figure stumbled inside.

People stumbling into their humbling abode was nothing new, true, but sometimes it were children who were too courageous or teenagers who felt it was a good idea to hold a test of courage in their house or sometimes lovers who liked to make out – Kaito loved those kinds of people the most because he could screw them over the most. Of course, if the weather was really bad people would look for shelter inside their house and sometimes, though seldom, they'd leave them alone and let them leave once the weather let up again.

But it was a first for a drenched and bloodied, hurt girl to enter their home and look him straight in the eyes.